Coming out to your wife

[NautiRogue]

After I divorced my first wife, I ended up dipping my toe into the lifestyle on my own by going to Hedonism III as a single guy. All my experience there was completely hetero, but a few years later, a girlfriend and I hooked up with a couple with the intention of couples-play. Neither the couples-play, not the girlfriend ended up working out, but I stayed in touch with the other couple. We had several MFM threesomes, and eventually he invited me over to their place when his wife was gone. He and I both had our first MM experiences that way. I enjoyed the play, and had always been physically attracted to hot bodies, whether they were female or male, but I didn't really consider myself bi at that point.

As time passed, I met the girl who would become my current wife. I told her very early on that I was in the lifestyle and that I would never be monogamous. She had never had any swinging experience, but she was open to giving it a try... It turned out, that she took to the lifestyle pretty comfortably, and she quickly found that the girl-crushes she had always secretly held were fun to play out in reality! Without much fanfare or hesitance, she told me that she was definitely bi.

After we ended up hooking up with the couple from my previous MM experiences and all four of us played together without societal taboos of same-sex sex, there was no need to come out to my girlfriend/eventual wife. She was there with me when I realized and accepted that I was as completely comfortable with physical MM interaction as I was with MF interaction. She and I had become a bisexual couple together.

 

[latinluva]

Hey, about the same for me, I told here after 2years just before we got married.
I tokk a while, but she understood, that have choosen her out of both sexes ;-) - and that being bi does not mean fucking around all the time. The same monogamous rules apply for girls and guys in my view.

So far she is cool with it, we even sometimes turn around for the same ass...

And same I try to convince her that MMF could maybe be some fun

@latinluva : did you make some progress in that respect?

Yes I did make some progress, she's very interested. but COVID came and well....that had to be put to the side.

 

[maxmax25]

Yes I did make some progress, she's very interested. but COVID came and well....that had to be put to the side.

Cool what happend untill then?

 

[X rated]

I

So going on being married 25 years here (anniversary in June). Last week, all hell broke loose in our house. After discovering I’d had been to masseurs, she found a text message from a guy I hooked up with. To say it has been a shock to her is an understatement. She has had all kinds of questions asking about specifics about what happened in my hookups. Who were these people I was hooking up with? Why? Why men? Why am I not enough? What did you do? Did you have anal sex? Did you touch each other? Did you kiss? Did you like it? We’re you attracted to these people? Did you think about me while you did it? It’s been an absolute nightmare for both of us. At 51, this is not how I’d imagined my life to be. And yet it is. I started experimenting with men mostly out of realizing the clock is ticking. I hit 50 and basically lost my mind. Along with the suppression of the pandemic, I started reaching out (in many different ways) to people in general. I’d always, however, had this nagging itch to be with a man - to know what it was like to make love to a man. I’d been attracted to dudes (as well as women), but never thought I’d do anything about it. That all changed with a massage last summer in which rubbing turned to cock sucking. I left that massage feeling ashamed and yet liberated. Several massages (and hookups) later, I started to feel empty. While the chase and novelty of it all was exciting, it always left me feeling like none of the risk was worth it. Deep inside I love my wife dearly and while I obviously hurt her deeply, I know that it wasn’t intentional. We both have a lot of work to do on healing our relationship, but if there is one thing I’ve learned for myself is that worse than the acts of betrayal is the lies and deceit that I built to cover it up. That, in her opinion, is what bothers her most. I get that. But she also knows that for me the story is more complicated than just my sexuality. I’m dealing with past sexual abuse in my childhood and a history of anxiety, depression and ADHD. My mother and father in law passed this year. My parents are in failing health. I’m having a mid life crisis, and trying to accept a part of myself I’ve known for a long time but never had to face. They say things happen for a reason. I just hope this the beginning of a new chapter.

This is almost like I wrote it myself.

 

[maxmax25]

This is almost like I wrote it myself.[/QUOTE]

Means you got caught as well?

 

[daftman]

good piece. I am a bi virgin, and my wife knows exactly the deal. She is bi as well, though not a virgin there. I do not think i could have a swing at it, and keep it from here, it would be too bog a part of the picture in my head! For both of us, perhaps some day, I expect. I will give you a very recent example: we always fantasize about another couple..as in last night, said, I would very much like to sit across the rom and watch you take another long smooth dick, than I would take it...for us this is normal. I told her about this one guy i have met at the gym, pierced nipple, has a pool, swims naked in it, we like tiny suits, etc. I was seeing an invite come, then covid. BUT, my question would be, do I bring my wife, or just ask her, or both! I also told my wife I am generally not attracted to guys in person, but this guys does turn me on...!! fun stuff!

 

[maxmax25]

good piece. I am a bi virgin, and my wife knows exactly the deal. She is bi as well, though not a virgin there. I do not think i could have a swing at it, and keep it from here, it would be too bog a part of the picture in my head! For both of us, perhaps some day, I expect. I will give you a very recent example: we always fantasize about another couple..as in last night, said, I would very much like to sit across the rom and watch you take another long smooth dick, than I would take it...for us this is normal. I told her about this one guy i have met at the gym, pierced nipple, has a pool, swims naked in it, we like tiny suits, etc. I was seeing an invite come, then covid. BUT, my question would be, do I bring my wife, or just ask her, or both! I also told my wife I am generally not attracted to guys in person, but this guys does turn me on...!! fun stuff!

hey... sounds great.
similar here. my wife does know that i am bi and had at least a bit experimented before I met her.
I promised to have no 'side fun' so far its working, apart from some c2c action and gayporn ;-)
Now we discuss to try meet another couple or another guy, but so far not sure what this might do to a relationship

 

[CURIOUS_8]

WOW! what a fascinating topic.
I'm loving the responses
I have various reasons guys tell me personal stuff. And when it comes to this, I'm used to guys hiding it from their wives.

 

[Obeliskdude]

I told my wife before we got married. I told her we could break up if she couldn't accept that I had feelings for men and had fooled around with men before. I've had a few male encounters once married, but fessed up to her all the time. Finally told her a few months back that I think I'm more gay than straight, and she accepts me for who I am. Our sex life has improved tremendously since. She is ok with me doing c2c, and is ok if I did find someone to play with and to suck cock, though I don't intend to abuse this freedom. I'm one hell of a lucky guy.

 

[maxmax25]

I told my wife before we got married. I told her we could break up if she couldn't accept that I had feelings for men and had fooled around with men before. I've had a few male encounters once married, but fessed up to her all the time. Finally told her a few months back that I think I'm more gay than straight, and she accepts me for who I am. Our sex life has improved tremendously since. She is ok with me doing c2c, and is ok if I did find someone to play with and to suck cock, though I don't intend to abuse this freedom. I'm one hell of a lucky guy.

Oh yes you are. That's how a relationship should be, taking care of each other

 

[CURIOUS_8]

This is almost like I wrote it myself.

Means you got caught as well?[/QUOTE]
Love how you guys help each other out

 

[daftman]

After I divorced my first wife, I ended up dipping my toe into the lifestyle on my own by going to Hedonism III as a single guy. All my experience there was completely hetero, but a few years later, a girlfriend and I hooked up with a couple with the intention of couples-play. Neither the couples-play, not the girlfriend ended up working out, but I stayed in touch with the other couple. We had several MFM threesomes, and eventually he invited me over to their place when his wife was gone. He and I both had our first MM experiences that way. I enjoyed the play, and had always been physically attracted to hot bodies, whether they were female or male, but I didn't really consider myself bi at that point.

As time passed, I met the girl who would become my current wife. I told her very early on that I was in the lifestyle and that I would never be monogamous. She had never had any swinging experience, but she was open to giving it a try... It turned out, that she took to the lifestyle pretty comfortably, and she quickly found that the girl-crushes she had always secretly held were fun to play out in reality! Without much fanfare or hesitance, she told me that she was definitely bi.

After we ended up hooking up with the couple from my previous MM experiences and all four of us played together without societal taboos of same-sex sex, there was no need to come out to my girlfriend/eventual wife. She was there with me when I realized and accepted that I was as completely comfortable with physical MM interaction as I was with MF interaction. She and I had become a bisexual couple together.

good comment..

 

[MilfBanger78]

My experience . less they know, the better

 

[mrbigdoc]

She caught me with another guy before we were married.... I was embarrassed at first when I had to explain what she had seen. I told her that I had much more experience with guys than girls. She was not happy but she told me she had a suspision that I had a bi side. Married 50 years now and things could not have gone better. I still have my cravings and she is really not all for it so I keep the talk to a minimum about those times.

 

[sissyjanine]

I have not told my wife...about 5 years ago she caught me wearing panties...and got extremely angry. One one hand this was good as I no longer had to hide it and no wear panties 24/7 but I doubt she could handle me being bi...not sure why she would care though as we haven't had sex in 20 years....and yes I tried in the beginning to talk to her about that but she avoids any sexual topic like the plague....I suspect she was abused as a child but again, she will not talk about that nor will she seek counseling. Still have one kid at home so we'll see how things go in the future...now she completely ignores me wearing panties...once the kid is gone I will be able to openly wear them and make her notice...perhaps then conversations will start