Comparative Diaries

Discussion in 'Funny Stuff: Jokes, Quizzes, Games & Pics' started by windtalkerways, Mar 17, 2006.

  1. windtalkerways

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    THE DOG'S DIARY:

    7 am- Oh boy! A walk! My favorite!

    8 am- Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!

    9 am- Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!

    Noon- Oh boy! The yard! My favorite!

    2 pm- Oh boy! A car ride! My favorite!

    3 pm- Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!

    4 pm- Oh boy! Playing ball! My favorite!

    6 pm- Oh boy! Welcome home Mom! My favorite!

    7 pm- Oh boy! Welcome home Dad! My favorite!

    8 pm- Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!


    9 pm- Oh boy! Tummy rubs on the couch! My favorite!

    11 pm- Oh boy! Sleeping in my people's bed! My
    favorite!


    THE CAT'S DIARY:

    Day 183 of my captivity...

    My captors continued to taunt me with bizarre little
    dangling objects.
    They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to
    eat dry cereal.
    The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of
    escape, and the mild
    satisfaction I get from clawing the furniture.
    Tomorrow I may eat
    another house plant.

    Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around
    their feet while
    they were walking almost succeeded. Maybe I should try
    this at the top
    of the stairs.

    In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile
    oppressors, I once
    again
    induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair - must
    try this on
    their
    bed.

    Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body
    in an attempt to
    make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to
    strike fear into
    their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about
    what a good little
    kitty cat I was. This is not working according to
    plan.

    There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices.
    I was placed in
    solitary confinement throughout the event. However, I
    could hear the
    noise and smell the food. More important, I overheard
    that my
    confinement was due to my powers of inducing something
    called
    "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it
    to my advantage.

    I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and
    maybe snitches. The
    dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to
    return. He is
    obviously a half-wit.

    The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an
    informant. He speaks with
    them regularly, and I am certain he reports my every
    move. Due to his
    current placement in the metal room, his safety is
    assured. But I can
    wait.

    It's only a matter of time..............
     
  2. b.c.

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    Now THAT
    is funny stuff,
    Windtalker, and
    so true!
     
  3. jakeatolla

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    Not to be out done by animals, here is Ann Franks diary:

    Monday: Hide
    Tuesday: Hide
    Wednesday : Hide
    Thursday : Hide
    Friday : Hide
    Saturday : Hide
    Sunday : Hide
    (Repeat on a weekly basis )
     
  4. B_Spladle

    B_Spladle New Member

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    I love dogs. I hate cats.
     
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