Competition in relationships

[michael_3165]

Just a quick topic I thought I would put together regarding relationships in general. I am wondering if anyone has had a problem in a relationship in the past about competition.

Now I don't necessarily mean competition in terms of dick size (though this happens I am sure in the gay community) but I mean in any way... for example:

1) In the gay community, one partner being particularly attractive compared to the other. Be it bodily, facially or personality "traits" which seem to draw more attraction than the other

2) Financial competition. This often relates to males who start in well respected, top level and highly paid industries who maybe lose their job or take a pay cut and then their wife/partner earns more than them

3) Intellectual. One partner makes the other feel more inadequate based on the apparent knowledge they possess

These are just 3 of a number of competitive traits which can lead to/cause relationships to fail or become unhappy.

SO! Have you either had a relationship like this or seen someone else IN the relationship in question? How did you or they end or how did they resolve the issues in their relationship??

Mike

Oh and have an awesome day!

 

[EmJay]

hmm..

In my experience..its no different from straight relationships where there is financial, intellectual or physical difference..

Do you feel because it involves males and male are in essence more competitive that you ask this question?

I should say maybe straight males are more competitive..feel threatened more easily when there is a difference between them and their partners..

Maybe the physical side could be more of a challenge..that is usually something that's more sensitive..on the side of the one who's less attractive ( but that's usually the same for straight people as well..so)

But I have seen 'intellectually challenged' gay friends date or have long term relationship with truly succesful or the smartest people out there..and no worries there..

 

[Kotchanski]

My husband and I are extremely competitive in every sense possible within a relationship and from what I can remember, we always have been.

It's not caused us any major problems though because it seems to balance out very nicely.

 

[Bbucko]

All of my relationships featured some pretty intense competition. It kept us on our toes and disallowed any feelings of being taken for granted. Like the two posters above me, there was an artful balance to everything.

None of my relationships ended due to competition, it really only enhanced them.

 

[NottsBound]

Yeah we have competition. We do the same degree. So it's healthy trying to do better but if one falls back...then we pick each other up.

 

[Remington]

I love competition in my relationships, romantic or otherwise.

Not only is it damn good fun, but it also brings us closer together and drives us to constantly improve on ourselves.

 

[helgaleena]

I think it's to do with whether the competition is out front or whether it's repressed. My ex was not a high school graduate despite his genius level IQ results, and did not understand why I didn't have my diploma framed on my wall someplace. After about ten years he began to call me an idiot rather a lot and say I was repressing him. Both of us knew exactly where the other 'ought' to change and was refusing. Eventually we had to quit trying because neither of us could accept the other without resentment.

I still feel superior to him-- not because I am actually smarter but because I never denied my shortcomings, while he constantly does, to this day.

 

[maxcok]

There's enough unnecessary competition in the world. I don't look for competition in my relationships.

I look for harmony, balance, compatibility, mutual consideration, mutual respect, ways to elevate each other.

Accept and appreciate each others' talents, strengths and weaknesses, and the whole becomes stronger.