Complicated Threesome Advice

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by kriswhite, Sep 10, 2005.

  1. kriswhite

    kriswhite New Member

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    There is this girl who my cousin has fancied for ages who we keep seeing when we go out clubbing and they have been flirting with each other for ages but when my cousin asked her out she said no. Anyway, when she turned him down he said "ok then, how about a fuck?" To this she said, "alright but only if he's there too" (pointing at me).
    My cousin really wants me to do this because he's wanted this girl for ages and now is his chance, but I feel bad because its obvious that she doesn't want him, she wants me, plus I feel a bit weird about effectively having sex with my cousin.
    What do you think I should do?? I feel a bit pressurised into doing it as my cousin really wants to.
     
  2. BobLeeSwagger

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    Are you attracted to her? You said he flirts with her, but do you? If you're not hot for her, you should definitely not have sex with her, no matter what your cousin wants. IMO, I don't know how hot a woman would have to be for me to have a threesome with my cousin. Hotter than I've met before, I would say.
     
  3. SomeGuyOverThere

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    General Guidlines - if you arent comfortable with it, dont do it. ;)

    Sounds to me like she really just wants you, and has no interest in your cousin. In bed, that means that he is inevitably going to feel left out, and you know, people tend to get jealous in such situations.

    Perhaps, for the good of your friendship with your cousin, you should consider not doing it.

    And ask yourself, do you really want to have sex with your cousin? :p
     
  4. Hockeytiger

    Hockeytiger Active Member

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    SomeGuy hit the nail on the head. If you are ever not comfortable in a sexual situation, you shouldnÂ’t do it. Your reservations are well warranted. Whenever you hear that little voice in your head warning you not to do something, you should pay attention. But please seek help if it starts telling you to kill people. :crazy:
     
  5. madame_zora

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    Awesome advice has already been given, but I will echo it. If you're not comfortable, don't do it. If she's not into him, he will only get his feelings hurt, and what will that do to your relationship? If you are weirded out by having sex with the same girl as your cousin, no doubt he will be feeling that way too. AFTER the event, AFTER she has made clear that you are her preference, you need to think about how you and your cousin will be feeling about each other. He will be resentful, jealous and angry. Sounds like a bad idea to me.
     
  6. D_Martin van Burden

    D_Martin van Burden Account Disabled

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    It's funny. You referred to this situation as "complicated" in your thread title. You understand that this girl is begrudingly wanting to fuck your cousin, and you recognize that this is really awkward for you because this threesome involves family. What part of your situation deserves a question mark, kiddo?

    In all seriousness, I think you answered your question long before you asked it here and you just need us to confirm what you're already going to do. Question is, how are you going to go through with this?

    Do you like this girl? If not, don't even indulge it, not even if your cousin is begging. And how is this going to affect relations with your cousin? Never mind it's awkward enough that you two are sharing oh so little space screwing this girl. What if she likes you more (sounds like she does?) Penis envy? Attraction envy? Is he going to hold a grudge?

    There are just too many things that can go wrong with this. Don't waste your time. In fact, tell your cousin that it's not your job to bait a girl so he can get lucky. If he's hot enough, he can do that by himself.
     
  7. kriswhite

    kriswhite New Member

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    I think you're right, I probably did know the answer when I posted this. I do fancy this girl, but my cousin was interested and had told me this so I decided to back off, but I think it is probably best not to. Thanks for all your help, I'll let you know what I decide.
     
  8. SomeGuyOverThere

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    Ok, whatever you decide - good luck and I hope it goes well. :hi:
     
  9. kriswhite

    kriswhite New Member

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    Just to let you know that I told my cousin that I didn't want to do it and he was a bit disappointed but accepted my decision. I also rang the girl and told her that I definitely wasn't going to do anything with her as my cousin was interested and it would cause too much trouble. I then got a phone call from my cousin saying that the girl had rang him and asked him if he wanted to go out for a drink with her on Friday. So it looks as though things have turned out ok.
     
  10. madame_zora

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    Wow, that's surprising, but good. These things can get sticky easily, I'm glad you did what was best. I'm sure you'll have no problem finding another girl in no time!
     
  11. Pene_Negro_Grande

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    Wow things did turn out good for your cousin...But for a dose of reality -Now it seems like your cousin is consolation prize since she can't have you...Hope your cousin really doesn't fall for her...I feel she will be with your cousin just to get close to you...But I could be wrong...Good luck...
     
  12. kriswhite

    kriswhite New Member

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    She couldn't be that scheming could she??
     
  13. sociallurk

    sociallurk New Member

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    Hopefully she's not still just angling for you. The cynic part of me screams that being the case.
     
  14. Pene_Negro_Grande

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    What do you think - she is a woman....No disrespect to the women on this forum but women can be much smarter than men when it comes to a mate they want....She is totally using your cousin to get to you....Let us know if you sense any vibes from her in the coming future....
     
  15. thkbeercan

    thkbeercan Active Member

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    it seems as thought the problem has resolved itself...
    however, how old are the people involved here? my cousins (all in their 40's and 50's) never seem to get involved with 'girls' who will only go out with/fuck them unless another guy comes along for the ride. this may be the stuff that dreams are made of (for middle aged men), but you're playing with dynamite if any of you kids are under the age of 18.
    there are laws against having sex with minors (anyone under the age of 18), even if that person is a cousin or other close relative. if the 'girl' involved is over 18 and one of the cousins is not, she can get her ass nailed. i know, bad choice of words, but i think you catch my drift....
     
  16. kriswhite

    kriswhite New Member

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    In the UK the age of consent is 16, not 18. I'm 20, my cousin is 22 and the girl is 20 as well.
     
  17. jonb

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    Rule #1 of sex: Don't do anything or anyone you're not comfortable with.
     
  18. B_Hung Muscle

    B_Hung Muscle New Member

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    Thanks, jonb. It's always good to repeat what 5 other posters have written above you.

    Everyone says here -- even jonb -- that one should not get involved in sexual situations that your inner voice tells you from the outset to avoid.

    My question is: what's the worst that's happened to you when you got involved sexually with someone you knew you shouldn't? In my case, it was little more than some minor irritating stalking...
     
  19. Dorset

    Dorset New Member

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    I've had threesomes before and they can be fantastic, but everything has to be set up perfectly. If anyone is in doubt about it then it shouldn't happen.

    I only get into this kind of activity if at least one of the others involved is an 'outsider'. This helps prevent against core human emotions like jealousy getting involved.
    For example, in your situation, you think that this girl likes you more than your cousin, what if you go ahead with it, she gives you all the attention and your cousin gets jealous and resents you for it?

    The girl will be gone but you'll have to live the rest of your life with a cloud over the relationship between you and your cousin
     
  20. madame_zora

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    Dorset, I think that's a good point for most people to consider, my daughter and I were talking about that recently. I know a lot of people who have threesomes with friends because they feel more comfortable with them, but it often leads to icky feelings afterwards that interfere with the friendship, or the primary relationship. Be careful, and whatever you do, think through it to the day after before you do anything you may regert further on down the road.
     
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