COMPUTERS!!!

[13788]

Javierdude22: I HATE COMPUTERS!!

O my God, I'm gonna slingshot my freaky laptop out the window and into the Meuse!! Ivé had it with all of them!!

The one i'm working on now, my parents, is infected upto yingyang, and yes I got virus scans and zonelab, so I thought, why not buy a brandnew laptop. I'm moving out soon enough anyway/

So I sold a kidney and one of my lungs and presto, the newest available.

Make a dial up connection and.....hey....can you spell 'blaster worm'??

It went downhill from there....and now I'm the proudd owner of a week old laptop that refuses to start Windows...

'Do I hear Bill gates laughing from his 5 billion dollar home?

(squaky voice) 'O yeah, we had some trouble with Windows XP but you can download an update....

PRETTY HARD WHEN YOU CAN"T START WINDOWS YA BUTTMUNCH!!!

There's only one thing that can make me go absolutely berserk, a computer thatv refuses to do it's job. I think it is very useful for school and work....but.....not when the bastard won't start. I'm getting a Terminator 'We're being governed by computers' flashback here.

 

[jonb]

I tried to run some programs
For Windows 95
8 megs is recommended
But I've got only five
So here it was my system
Completely obsoleted
Typing path names with my fingers
Cursing out loud at my mouse
Killing my software with Windows
Killing my software with Windows
Need more memory with Windows
Need more disk space with Windows

 

[13788]

longtimelurker: Kind of reminds me of when the iMac was first released. The only connectivity present was a CD-Rom and the internet connection. However, they discovered a fault with the dial-up software which meant that you couldn't dial up.

So what did Apple do?

Release a downloadable patch.

Wouldn't have been so bad if it hadn't been before the days when CD/RW drives were ten a penny.

 

[13788]

ORCABOMBER: Can't live with them, can't live without them, huh?

 

[13788]

Tender:

you saying computers ARE male?!

same here i hate this stupid box of junk!
LISTEN to ME !
*I* own YOU !!
no, no, stop, no please don't! please?
huh. man! i have to start that over AGAIN....sigh...

anyone else talk to theirs? make appeasments?

:-*
Tender

 

[13788]

Javierdude22: Eaxctly Orcabomber!

- sigh -

And Tender, I know, i've had the deepest conversations ever with the lil' punk....now that I think of it...it knows more of me than my own mother.

Can you spell 'sad' ?....oi...i've yelled, begged, pleaded, cried, stomped, banged my head against thewall, and done several complicated dance moves (not voluntarily, i'm talking twitching here) cause it thought it would run it's own agenda.

And now it decided to 'get ill' ....oi...

Should I see what temperature it has now? Give it cough drops? Cover it up with a litlle blanket? Nah...mine's going staright to the doctor..

 

[jonb]

[quote author=Tender link=board=99;num=1066079578;start=0#4 date=10/14/03 at 11:56:01]you saying computers ARE male?![/quote]

Well...

• You have to turn them on to get their attention.
• They have a lot of data, but they're still clueless.
• They're supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time, they are the problem.
• As soon as you commit to one, you realize if you'd just waited a little longer, you could've gotten a better model.

OTOH, they could also be female because...

• No one but their creator understands their internal logic.
• Their native language is incomprehensible to anyone else.
• Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for possible retrieval.
• As soon as you commit to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

So they're bytesexual.

Jon (Byte me)

 

[13788]

ORCABOMBER: JonB,

Blargh! ;D

 

[13788]

oldman9x7: Hi, JonB

I can't believe that nobody picked up on your poetry. I thought it was great and I loved "killing my software".
I nominate you for Poet Laurie Et.

Gramps

 

[Pecker]

[quote author=Tender link=board=99;num=1066079578;start=0#4 date=10/14/03 at 11:56:01]

you saying computers ARE male?!

same here i hate this stupid box of junk!
LISTEN to ME !
     *I*   own     YOU !!
no, no, stop, no please don't! please?
huh. man! i have to start that over AGAIN....sigh...

anyone else talk to theirs? make appeasments?

:-*
Tender

[/quote]

Mine has no name but it does have a hereditary line.

It's Son of a Bitch.

Pecker

(You never really learn to swear until you buy your own computer.)

 

[13788]

7x6andchg: Oh, Gramps, I got it, allright...I was just deciding whether I should have Fugees or Roberta Flack flashbacks.

Mine gave me so many problems lately, I had to turn to a friend (someone the board, in fact) for help....thanks to his gracious assistance, we are running full speed ahead again.

7x6&C