We all know that being a teenager is one of the best times of your life. I just finished my first semester of college and I'm working on the second. I live in a dorm and I have a single room (6 out of the 8 guys on my floor have a single room). I've been getting to know the guy who lives across from me a lot this semester and it seems we are bonding very quickly. He is straight, and I am unopenly gay - only my close friends know. anyway, he is a great guy. he's skinny (we are about the same size), but very well toned because he does crazy shit on his bike and skateboard. Very attractive as well... very attractive. He is 100% straight, and I fear to tell him I am gay. I know he doesn't mind homosexuals, but I have a gut feeling he would act differently around me if i told him. and here's the shitty part- i am falling for him. i can't stop thinking about how great it would be if we somehow were together. he would be perfect, i know it. I am having such a hard time with this because this isn't the first time this has happened. A few years ago I met this guy and we became best friends, and I wanted him to be gay so badly. He knew I was gay, but didn't want to have anything to do with it. Eventually, we ending up despising each other over time. I don't want this to happen again. It's the worst feeling in the world. The feeling of being gay and knowing that society looks down upon you heavily, and when you find someone that is so special to you - you can't have them. It is impossible. And the thought of that lingers in your mind for days and days and reminds you that you're different... and most things will never work out. It kills me everyday. Sorry for the long message, if someone actually read this, please, please let me know what you think. Thanks.