Confidence with Girls

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by montroyal88, Feb 5, 2006.

  1. montroyal88

    montroyal88 New Member

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    I consider myself bi until proven otherwise, but my challenge is that I have zero confidence around girls. I don't have much more around guys, but they take the initiative and I play along.

    Any tips on how I can attract more girls and feel more comfortable? I really do find girls attractive and fantasize about them as much as guys, but all my experience is with guys. The other problem is that girls assume that I am (a) gay and/or (b) a stoner, and don't take me very seriously.

    R
     
  2. B_horribleperson

    B_horribleperson New Member

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    if you have to ask how much, you cant afford it
     
  3. salinger

    salinger Member

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    Confidence comes with experience. You have to take a few risks, be prepared to get shot down and ultimately figure out how not to care about it. But the more you talk to girls, the easier it gets. And the less you care about getting laid, the easier that is too. Just the way the world works.

    Do they assume you're a stoner because you're stoned a lot? Could be a sign to take some breaks between bong hits. Do they assume you're gay because there's been a bunch of dicks in your mouth? No matter. Because girls love gay guys, they tend to fall for them. If you play the gay card to get close, once you make your move they will be all over you because they will think they're hot shit for "turning" you.

    Sorry for the unfortunate misogyny, it's merely been my empirical research.
     
  4. montroyal88

    montroyal88 New Member

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    Well I sometimes smoke a J for confidence, but I'm thinking that is a turnoff for girls. Also it often makes me hornier for the guys in the crowd and a few times I've been caught saying and doing things that I shouldn't. Overall, I guess I need to cut back on the weed in make it or break it situations.

    Well how can I come on to a girl as gay, then try to screw her? Isn't that a good way to develop a bad reputation? How about teaming up with a guy with a lot more experience and going for a 3some?

    R
     
  5. salinger

    salinger Member

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    Well, my point was that you shouldn't outright lie to the girl, just let her think what she wants and she'll gravitate to you. I'm also not knocking the weed, did some last night, but if you get too reliant on it, not going to help you. And threesome - big thumbs up. But you might need to work your way up. You don't just shoot a couple hoops and then try out for the Nicks. Baby steps.

    But if you ever get invited into a threesome, there better be that puff of smoke behind you like Scooby Doo as you run towards it.
     
  6. montroyal88

    montroyal88 New Member

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    OK, thanks for clarifying.

    As for the threesome, I have a friend (Davyd on here) who has no trouble finding girls and could find easily one for a threesome. The problem is that he and I mess around a lot, and I'm thinking that the chick might pick up on the vibe between us even if I don't lay a finger on him.

    Also I live in a city where there are a lot of gay and bi guys, especially in my age group, so I think girls are naturally suspicious. I just have to make that work to my advantage and stop looking so desperate and dejected.

    R
     
  7. salinger

    salinger Member

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    I have much to teach you. So check your PMs because people are going to be arriving at my apartment any second now.
     
  8. Jason

    Gold Member

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    Correction - you need to cut out the weed. That's probably the underlying reason why the chemistry isn't working between you and the girls.
     
  9. montroyal88

    montroyal88 New Member

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    I am coming to realize that being shy (which I can't really help) and dialled back helps me with guys, but works against me with girls.

    Now that I'm 18 (old enough to drink in Quebec), I guess I would be better off with a drink or two at the bar, rather than a J or two prior. More easily said than done though.

    Peace!
    R
     
  10. Dr Rock

    Gold Member

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    who lives in the east 'neath the willow tree? Sex
    what a heap of shit. I smoke more weed than is sensible or healthy, and i'm by no means short of chicks. i know it's terribly fashionable in the new neurotic century to demonize the voluntary ingestion of any chemical without a cosmetics brand label on it, but social politics does not equal reality.
     
  11. D_alex8

    D_alex8 Member

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    It all depends what kinda girls he is hoping to hook up with though, because there are surely enough stoner-chicks around for every stoner-dude out there :smile:
     
  12. salinger

    salinger Member

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    And girls do dig shy guys. The more aloof you can be, the more challenging for them. It's just that at 18, most of the girls you're probably around are lacking confidence as well. Find a nice post collegiate chick and she will take advantage of you like no other.
     
  13. HangX

    HangX Well-Known Member

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    I agree with Doc Rock that the weed thing is not the problem.

    Reading between the lines, I think you're trying too hard.

    Relax. Be yourself. Be interested and interesting. Have a good time. Go with the flow. Have a drink or two if you must, but don't get drunk. The people that are worth getting to know (short or long term) will pick up on your positive vibe.

    Don't go with an agenda. Girls are typically more emotionally intelligent than guys; they will sense what you are up to and shoot you down for sport.

    On the other hand, don't pull a Hayden C, showing up at events stoned out of your mind and looking for like-minded guys.

    Also, from your pic I would say that you are adorably cute. For every girl (or guy) that shoots you down, there are probably twenty wishing that you would approach them.

    Last but not least, don't be impatient. I will often talk to someone and have them in my crosshairs, but I won't pull the trigger. I will play it cool, knowing that I will run into them again and they will (likely) want it even more.

    Sometimes the tables are turned, and it takes two or three attempts to close the deal, if at all. Sexual tension is a lot of fun, and you can use it to your advantage.

    I suspect you fear that you will end up 'gay by default', and that somehow you need to prove your heterosexual credentials before it is too late. That is not a healthy way to think.
     
  14. montroyal88

    montroyal88 New Member

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    Salinger and HangX taking turns on me! Bring it on!!

    As for being cute, there's a difference between cute and tall and handsome with a 10"+ cock, but I guess I will settle for cute.

    You come across as a bit of a player. I don't think I will ever make it to that level.

    Did you mean Hayden Christensen? OMG! Do you know him? Do you realize that you just outed him? Sucks to be him.

    I've been toking and stroking for 4 hours, why don't you guys log in and talk to me. I am montroyal88@hotmail.com, not montreal88@hotmail.com.

    R
     
  15. salinger

    salinger Member

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    hey, I emailed and gave you my aim. And Hayden was outed long before HangX posted anything. And you can learn how to be more confident. And you need to get out of the mindset that all women want is a huge cock. That will only set you up for failure.
     
  16. D_alex8

    D_alex8 Member

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    I think about 2,000 websites and tabloids may have beaten Hang to that particular scoop :cool:
     
  17. salinger

    salinger Member

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    And anyone that's ever met him in person. Dude, there are so many not closeted but not mainstream public gay guys in hollywood it's not even funny. I don't know why it should be funny, but it's not in any case.
     
  18. D_alex8

    D_alex8 Member

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    It should be funny due to the irony of living a masquerade, it isn't funny because it reveals that mainstream culture perpetuates closeting, and that all too many people are willing to live a lie to go along with that. From my own time spent in Hollywood, it's pretty apparent that there are so many scared-of-being-identified-as-gay queens there, that it's a wonder anyone has any closet space at all.
     
  19. salinger

    salinger Member

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    Well, if America wouldn't shun a gay actor I think more of them would be open. They're just trying to keep the money rolling in and I can't really blame anyone for that. It's the ignorant retards that would stop buying tickets to Tom Cruise movies if they knew that keeps it going.
     
  20. salinger

    salinger Member

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    And back to Monty's probs. I think you just need to try your luck more. Ask out the hottest single girl you can find - maybe she's out of your league - in which case you haven't got a chance - which means, you've got nothing to lose. It's like practice. But I swear, the more you try, the easier it gets, and the less you care about the outcome - the less nervous you come off, the more attractive you are. Girls, generally speaking, would rather have a big load of confidence than an enormous package.
     
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