Confidence with Girls

[montroyal88]

I wasn't accusing HangX of outing Hayden, I just assumed he might know him since they are both from the same city and Toronto always has celebrities around.

It is pretty cool that Hayden is gay, or bi or whatever now that he is dating that Desperate Housewives chick. The more I roll it over in my head, the more it makes sense. Has he admitted it, denied it or just kept his mouth closed?

I am tempted to tell my sister, but that will just reinforce her stupid impression that I am gay. She has already called me a fag in front of my parents.

My dad forced her to write a 500-word apology which she did a half-assed job at. I think his reaction made things even worse with her since she wasn't expecting him to defend me.

As for confidence, you only get that when things go right for you. I'm happy with my size, but I would be even happier with a 50% upgrade too

R

 

[salinger]

Well, confidence should have nothing to do with your size. It's merely being comfortable in your own skin. I'm not huge. I get laid a lot. The two things aren't connected.

 

[D_alex8]

It's been said already on this thread, but I really think you're putting in waaay too much effort... just going with the flow, and jumping in a natural way at whatever opportunity you feel comfortable with might be best.

Hang also made a hugely valid point about exactly why you're aiming to have this first hetero-sex --- simply as a means to prove you're bi and/or not gay? I wonder how much that has to do with social pressure and how much to do with your own inner desires? Just be sure you do anything because it's what you want to do and because it's what you're comfortable with. :smile:

 

[salinger]

Yes, he makes good points. Gold star.

 

[montroyal88]

Well it is both.

I honestly want to try having sex with a girl! How do you know what your favourite ice cream flavour is when you've only tried one flavour? I might try it and hate it, but I owe it to myself to try it.

I say this even though the very idea of eating pussy makes me want to throw up. I don't know what I would actually do in person, but it's nice to know that I am able to satisfy a girl even though I might not enjoy as much as she does.

On the other hand, I am falling in love with the idea of being bi. All my friends who are actively bi and fairly open about it get a lot of respect and seem to have their act together rather than living in their own little world.

R

 

[salinger]

Well, if you don't like to eat pussy, you may be in trouble with the girls. And hopefully there's something a bit more attractive about being bi to you than just the idea of it. Looks like I've got my work cut out for me.

 

[HangX]

1. I still think that your motivation may be wrong.

2. From the pix that you sent, you are not as shy as you claim to be. You're a very attractive guy, though I must admit that you look dazed and confused in some of your pix .

3. My point re: Hayden is that even wildly 'popular' guys can screw up in social situations, especially when they are trying to be something they are not in order to comply with social expectations or their handlers' instructions.

 

[former_member_0385]

Hey man, here's what I'm thinking. Find a bar with a scene you like that has the type of chicks you're normally attracted to and hang out there fairly regularly with a friend or two. Don't smoke weed before if you find that it impairs your social skills. (It does mine. I love toking up a bit with a friend or two at home, but when it comes to bars and parties, I'm more comfortable and more talkative with just a drink or three inside me.) So I suggest, no weed, be buzzed but not drunk. Be casual, friendly and talkative. If a girl is flirty, be flirty back, compliment her, slowly inch closer to her. Play it by ear, don't try to seal the deal that night if it doesn't look like that's gonna happen, just get her number. Don't mention digging dudes, but if she asks, don't lie about it, and don't volunteer that you haven't had much experience with women, but again don't lie.

I gave up girls a while ago, but had some success in the past. That's the last part of my advice. I always found it easier to approach guys because I had a stronger attraction to them and that kinda guided me along. A girl I would worry when it was right to kiss her and a guy I would want it and just go in for it. I eventually came to the realization that I wasn't as bi as I wanted to be. It's totally possible that isn't the issue here. (My point is just don't try to force anything. Do what comes natural regardless of label.) Maybe it's just a lack of confidence that's keeping you from taking the initiative. All I can say to that man is I'd do you. You're really cute and have a nice body. As long as you make the effort and aren't a complete buffoon, you should be able to get tons of play.

 

[Paul Vincent]

I'm quite (okay, very) shy and introverted. Although I can talk to girls easier than guys. I only phone/text or keep in touch with the girls from my course, about five that I met and got on with. There are other guys I talk to when I see them etc but I dont have their phone numbers...

Also, I'm usually quiet in a pub/bar. All you do is go up to a girl and say 'hi' then say something relevant to the situation 'you from around here' or something...just like a general conversation. It's not hard, and being drunk helps. I wouldn't smoke pot at all or beforehand because it will make you even more paranoid and afraid of going up to a girl.

I guess you just wait, and it will happen. Same applies for going up to a guy I guess, but I have no experience in chatting up guys or vice versa

 

[RideRocket]

Just try striking up a conversation about something interesting (note - not weird or obscure). Keep it light and don't try to hard. You may not score the first time, but the more you do it, the more relaxed you'll become. Most guys strike out several times before hooking up. Besides, your guy buddies won't tell you about the ten chicks that shot them down before finally finding one that would talk to them. Making conversation takes time and practice.

Also, ditch the pot. Otherwise you'll be to focused on eating the food on her plate and not notice she's ready to jump you!

 

[montroyal88]

I just wanted to publicly thank everyone for their advice so far.

I also wanted to tell you that I met a nice girl at a coffee shop today.

We talked for about 20 minutes and I asked if she was seeing anyone. She said not really, then she asked if I had a gf. I said not really, then she asked if I had a bf, and I said not my style. I think I managed not to blush but i don't know where that question was coming from and it knocked me off balance.

She wouldn't fork over her # but she gave me her e-mail. I hope it's real.

R

 

[dan123]

That's a great start- and if nothing comes of it, just remember- as I'm sure you will- that you enjoyed talking to her, and that nothing bad has happened, so you can approach someone again with less anxiety.

 

[montroyal88]

Thanks!

Actually, I have met three girls in the last two weeks.

I scored head from one. She wasn't very good at it, but I was able to cum anyway and she swallowed which was hot. She had a shaved pussy and I was thinking about going down on her. Lost my nerve.

I really like her roommate who is model quality hot, but she has a boyfriend who is also really good looking. I would do a threesome (or maybe a foursome with the other chick) in a minute if I could somehow set it up without getting smacked down.

When I was on the way home from my date with her, I went into a bar cos I didn't really want the night to end. This older guy in a suit bought me a drink and paid for it with a $100 bill. Later he offered me $400 to come back to his place, but I said I wasn't gay. I gave him my e-mail though.

I was thinking afterward it would be nice to have an older woman offer me money and show me the ropes. Oh well.

R

 

[Thedrewbert]

I would be upfront about being Bi. Saying "not my style" says to her that you are straight. Personally, I would have suggested "I don't have one of those either". It leaves you honest.


That said, I don't know why being bi wouldn't attract chicks. My BF and I have girls ask to join in with us all the time and when we turn them down, they ask to watch. :002:

 

[Chuck64]

I agree with Drewbert about giving them the wrong idea about your sexuality, and I have three things to add...

#1 - You made a good choice - Don't be a whore. You'd probably regret it later.

#2 - It's good to have fantasies, but the group sex thing is probably going to be too much. If you lost your nerve during one-on-one oral sex, the last thing you want is an audience.

#3 - HangX made a good point. Don't put yourself through this hoping you won't end up gay. Either you're attracted to women or you aren't. If you aren't, give up before your mind is warped beyond repair and your looking for tall buildings to jump from.

 

[TylerDurden]

My biggest key to confidence is to look at rejections as successes - I know that seems a bit off when you read it, but stop and think about it: by getting rejected, you still went up, had a conversation with a woman you didn't previously know, and gained more confidence for it. Besides, you'll gain most of your luck out of around 20-30% of the women you talk to, anyway....at least thats around my percentage.

 

[Davyd18]

Hey Ry,

Not only do strangers think you're gay, now they think you're a gay hooker! You should roll with it. You would have next year's tuition in a week.

Seriously, maybe you should stop wearing tight t-shirts and low riding jeans. You're advertising too much of your fine ass.

Your booty call boyfriend,
Davyd

 

[Master Blaster]

I scored head from one. She wasn't very good at it, but I was able to cum anyway and she swallowed which was hot.

You're 18 years old, so don't worry... I think I was about 21 before I got a great blowjob. The ones I got in my teens weren't great. Enough to cum, but that's it.

 

[tannie]

Hayden Christensen isn't gay!He denied it in the past and now he is sick about it to do it again and again!

Montroyal88 I wish you luck to find out which sexualty you prefer!:smile:

 

[stud_hunter]

I consider myself bi until proven otherwise, but my challenge is that I have zero confidence around girls. I don't have much more around guys, but they take the initiative and I play along.

Any tips on how I can attract more girls and feel more comfortable? I really do find girls attractive and fantasize about them as much as guys, but all my experience is with guys. The other problem is that girls assume that I am (a) gay and/or (b) a stoner, and don't take me very seriously.

R

I've had guys ask me this question of how to change how they come across to women. My answer is I think most of the time women will view you the same way you view yourself. How you view yourself comes out in how you act and we are often really good at sensing that. So if girls are thinking of you as gay or a stoner, consider the possibility that they're right. And put your attention on figuring out who you are, because you can't expect others to know that if you don't.