A 20 year old having sex with a 16 year old is no different than a 16 year old having sex with a 16 year old, except in the former case, one possibly gets the anxieties of having broke the law.
Yes, 20 y/o with 13 y/o is quite a different story, but even then, plenty of people have been molested or even raped, and lived a perfectly normal, healthy life, with normal relationships, whilst people who never had anything done to them have terribly neurotic relationships. Sex is not the only component of a relationship.
Both the first and second paragraphs of what you say are untrue. These are lies, but you have to tell them, and since we're online it means you're really just lying to yourself. Why do you have to lie to yourself about this?
Also do you personally know people who were molested as children and also know that they are living perfectly normal lives? Look closer.
I can tell you with certainty that you don't, unless you molested them yourself and you want to believe that they are living perfectly normal lives.
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