Confronting a liar

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by Ethyl, Apr 27, 2006.

  1. Ethyl

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    Last night, I went on a first date with someone I met on the internet. We emailed each other for almost two weeks before deciding to meet. He seemed nice, intelligent, cute (although appeared older in person than in his photo), funny, all that jive. My problem is that, as the evening progressed, he mentioned he went to his 20 year high school reunion two years ago. That would put his age around 39 or 40. When we began emailing each other, he said he was 34. The rest of the evening went downhill for me because I couldn't get his comment out of my head and I wanted to go home and check my email to see if I read his stats correctly, which I did. It says he's 34. I know I should confront him about this discrepancy and I will, but I don't really care about what he has to say about this. I figure if he's lying about this, he will lie about other things, too. And nothing pisses me off more than a liar. Am I being too harsh? Should I give him the benefit of the doubt? Any thoughts on this?
     
  2. AlteredEgo

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    It's hard enough trusting people with your love and you time and your body without already knowing they cannot be trusted. I say bust him and move on. You are not being too harsh.
     
  3. rawbone8

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    Be harsh. You get the best he's got to offer at the beginning.
     
  4. Matthew

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    I think that's a key point.

    Unless you feel other strong reasons to continue with him, it's a bad omen to start under, and you would always wonder if you could really trust him.
     
  5. geitjeshoeder

    geitjeshoeder Active Member

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    Ask him what he is afraid of , and ask him why he lies about these things. If he can talk about his fears and come in to contact with his problems and is able to give a good reason for them, he would be less hesitated to speak about these problems. If he has other qaulities, and this story is the only "hick-up" don't be to bothered about it. People who suffer from mid life crisis syndrom related irrational thoughts often have fear of rejection.
     
  6. Gisella

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    I myself would ask in his face WHY he has to lie about it...and than move on...

    :wink:
     
  7. AlteredEgo

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    Everyone has a fear of rejection. Some people just also have honor. If she wants to put in the time and effort to reach out to a fellow man and discuss this issue with him, I think that would be remarkable. I still think she should toss this one back and keep fishing.
     
  8. Ethyl

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    If he's suffering from midlife crisis, then he shouldn't be trying to date someone who is 36 years old. I would think he'd rather be chasing some 22 year-old tail instead.
     
  9. Dr Rock

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    who lives in the east 'neath the willow tree? Sex
    take a katana to your next date, hack off his head and redeem your honor
     
  10. Gisella

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    Hmm...

    If he knew your age ahead of time why he did not came clean before the date ?

    Mercuriabliss, if he has done that everything was ok...yes or no ???

    Why he lie people...why? hmmmm...

    Now i would move on more than before...
     
  11. Ethyl

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    ROFLMAO!

    Duly noted, Rock.
     
  12. Gisella

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    :biggrin1: hehehe....

    Dr.Rock u rock...a funny man u are.:tongue:
     
  13. B_Spladle

    B_Spladle New Member

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    You are not being too harsh. You should not give him the benefit of the doubt. You should not see him again. You should make an OKC profile.
     
  14. rawbone8

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    Heh heh. That's a tad harsh. Give him a sporting chance.
    Dress like the Bride (Uma Thurman) so he has a chance to run.
     
  15. B_horribleperson

    B_horribleperson New Member

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    if you go to buy a car with a V-8 engine and find out the car you bought only has a V-6 you would be pissed off.

    if you really like this guy then question him about it. and also probe the other things he told you.
     
  16. Irvy

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    My goodness, someone lying on the internet... there's a first for everything ;)

    It happens all the time, and it's a bad side effect of the anonymity of the internet. It's all PR spin, "tweaking" facts about yourself that you know have put people off in the past in the hope that by the time the other person learns the truth, they've either already got what they wanted off you, or you'll be too enamored/polite to care.

    I try to be as honest as possible online, as do many people, and it's extremely annoying to find that yet another person has lied to you. I find the best (if somewhat cynical) approach is to assume that it's all lies until proven otherwise.

    Also, be careful of the liars. You can usually spot them, because they get very very indignant and insulted when you ask them to clarify a point. They'll sound all offended that you dare to question their honesty, when a truely honest person would recognise that, like you, they have been lied to many times and will probably be pleased that you've enough sense to question certain details.

    Case in point, try asking someone on this site who claims all over their profile that they're 14" to prove it with a photo, and you'll hear a long winded rant about photos being stolen for porn sites.
     
  17. Ethyl

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    He also told me was fairly well-hung. If I were to discover he lied about that, i'd probably take Dr. Rock's advice and sharpen my blade. Your analogy is right on the money, though. Food for thought.
     
  18. rhino_horn

    rhino_horn New Member

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    dude, its not like he lied about being married or anything...hes an old guy that wants to get laid, can u really blame him? though a lie is a lie...u should at least get a look at his pipe b4 u make ur decision to blow him off, if its unattractive then u can question him about the lie and send him home crying.

    though, the fact that he lied probably should tell u something about his long term goals with u...
     
  19. B_Spladle

    B_Spladle New Member

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    I am disinclined to believe this man when he references his endowment. But hey, I've been wrong before.
     
  20. AlteredEgo

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    I think if the OP was just looking to get laid herself, she wouldn't care about his details and particulars. If she's worried about his honesty, maybe she's looking for someone to spend quality time with as well. Besides. Her pussy's made of platinum. (Figuratively) Why should she let some insecure loser get so much as a whiff?
     
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