Confused about sexual orientation...

[DrewCaliber]

I'm a half n half (bi) because i love women bt find my self attracted to trannies and handsome gay men.. So i guess i only go gay for the cute ones

 

[rayray]

I don't know how others will feel about this. I was an Escort in the 80's around the age you are now. I saw many men that were married, some who were sexually confused and wonder if they shall i say had an attraction to a man up close and personal. You mentioned being turned on by a woman's perky breasts and you masturbate looking at men. Sounds like you like a little of both and lack that OOmph to take that next step.Nothing wrong with that. Your normal.If you have a escort service in your area and have a little or a lot of cash(Usually a few hundred) get a room and call for a guy or a girl, what ever your in the mood for at the time. lol, some offer a guy and girl combo. It's discreet, usually safe. Do your home work first.Call around or search on-line..,tell them what you are looking for, and don't worry they've heard it all. At least this way you can get past all those stumbling blocks and just do it.Good Luck!

 

[B_patrickmcc]

I see a couple of issues you need to address. Most obvious is your shyness, and reticience to entering a relationship. At this point, you shouldnt really question whether youre into guys or women, or both. You need to seriously think about why you are shirking from any physical relationship.
Fear of rejection, nervousness, and body image tend to be the leading causes of staying away from sexual relations. To some degree, everyone has these issues.
People's sexuality isnt something that is easy to typecast into simple categories. the only way you will ever come to understand exactly what best fulfills you sexually is experience. And even then you may find that both men and women are sexually fulfilling.
Dont sweat what you "are". More importantly, you need to begin to gain experience with sex with other people, so you can better understand yourself.
It will in the end make you a happier and better adjusted peson.
But be sure the people you begin sexual relation with are good people. People that you care about, and vice versa.
I went through this same dilemma, albeit at a much younger age.. notably in high school. Fortunately, I was able to overcome my shyness, and modesty (ironically my modesty arose specifically because of my size. I was teased from my freshman year on, and called "Freak" by everyone in my high school. And everyone knew how I got my nickname. This led to a lot of uncomfortable moments, and many cruel comments to me. It also raised a lot of curiousity form other guys.. both straight and gay, as well as girls.
It took two really good friends a guy and a girl, for me to finally deal with that embarassment and to finally start having sexual relations. I lost my virginity to the girl, who couldnt have been more supportive of me, and complimentary as well as getting me to understand that most women arent obsessed by size, they are obseesed with tenderness, touching, caring respect. Ironically the first guy I was with was exactly the same way. I dont look at myself as gay, straight, or bisexual. There are certain things about both sexes I find arousing, and they tend to be the same things. Good looks, sincerity, a good heart, and a caring soul will get me to drop my pants regardless of their sex!

good luck!

 

[D_stryhtfg]

I just turned 26 the other day and since high school have been confused by my sexual orientation. I have not had a girlfriend and have not gone on any dates (living at home after college hasn't helped--I'm thinking about moving out within the year). I am not a bad looking guy nor do I lack social skills--just haven't made any moves. I always seem to use the excuse, "I don't want to ruin a good friendship." with any girl that could be a potential match.

As friends start to pair up and a couple have gotten married, it's made me start to think a lot. I find myself recognizing when someone is good looking, both women and men. I really like breasts, something about them makes me take a good stare. The firmness and perkyness is a turn on for me.

But when it comes to masturbation, I find myself looking mostly at naked pictures of guys. Initially I thought this had to do with "envy"--being fascinated with the male form while I was growing up and wondering how I would look when I became a man. However, I also find myself looking at guys in the gym showers. Something about showering nude with other guys is arousing. The forum "Open Locker Room Showers" on LPSG is also exciting. I can't imagine myself having sex with or being intimate with another man, it's sickening to the stomach. I like kids and often think how great it would be to raise a family some day.

I have a routine physical exam coming up in a week and wonder if I should feel comfortable addressing these concerns with my doctor. Overall, I feel comfortable talking to him--he is attentive and genuinely cares about his patients. Last year I had some blood in my ejaculate and mustered up the courage to ask him about it. He said "sexual activity is healthy.", but I didn't have the nerve to tell him I was still a virgin.

Society says you're either straight or gay. It seems more acceptable for women to swing both ways, but a guy cannot. Has any guy on this forum found that they are also attracted to men, but are now in a healthy relationship with a woman? I feel conflicted. Any insight or advice is greatly appreciated.

Wow...I felt like I was reading my own story there for a minute.

We have a lot in common...

 

[D_Myer_Dogasflees]

Your-gay-but-want-children-and-don't-want-to-lose-you-st8-buddies-bcause-you-don't-know-what-they-might-react
you've got to live your life bud.

And yes it has always been fine for a man to swing obth ways, in fact completely natural, however because of the abrahamic influence on western culture, it may still be difficult, personally i would find a town that is proud of their openmindedness and setup
there.

kind of hate this part of the world, we are culturally and philosophically stuck at this present time

 

[instynctive]

I can relate...we should start a new support group/ club. But more and more comfortable with the shades of grey that exists in the spectrum of sexuality between black and white...no great answers to share, just do what feels real.

"Grey" is a good place to be.

 

[bigbull29]

"Grey" is a good place to be.

I'm grey :biggrin1:. Grey is great.:smile:

 

[instynctive]

I'm grey :biggrin1:. Grey is great.:smile:

You're also fucking hot.

You need to move to Maine.

 

[bigbull29]

You're also fucking hot.

You need to move to Maine.

Maybe I will:biggrin1:

 

[Snozzle]

But when it comes to masturbation, I find myself looking mostly at naked pictures of guys. Initially I thought this had to do with "envy"--being fascinated with the male form while I was growing up and wondering how I would look when I became a man. However, I also find myself looking at guys in the gym showers. Something about showering nude with other guys is arousing. The forum "Open Locker Room Showers" on LPSG is also exciting. I can't imagine myself having sex with or being intimate with another man, it's sickening to the stomach. I like kids and often think how great it would be to raise a family some day.

This sounds a lot like me before I Came Out. I really hated the idea of being gay. Turns out that was all in my conditioning. Do you have a religious/homophobic background (including the covert religion/homophobia of traditional psychotherapeutic theory, and some political ideologies of the right or left)? Do your parents have strong expectations that you'll settle down with a woman and present them with grandchildren? Indoctrinating you that you are straight is more powerful that ordering you to be.

Not that any of that means you must be gay, but if it's using up your energy, and not making itself clear to you, that may be what you are avoiding, and familiarity will overcome your "sickened" reaction.

One signal I avoided and should not have done - years before I came out I once fantasized about having sex with a guy, and it was so arousing that it frightened me off for years. I should have listened to "arousing". So I suggest you try that and listen to whatever it tells you.

Another thing, which should inform your life-choices: who do you fall in love with? Are your stronger emotional bonds with men or with women? I think you'll find more happiness if you go with that.

And remember, if you settle down with a guy, you can still be a father. by donation or adoption.

Lots of good advice in earlier posts, too.

 

[bigbull29]

This sounds a lot like me before I Came Out. I really hated the idea of being gay. Turns out that was all in my conditioning. Do you have a religious/homophobic background (including the covert religion/homophobia of traditional psychotherapeutic theory, and some political ideologies of the right or left)? Do your parents have strong expectations that you'll settle down with a woman and present them with grandchildren? Indoctrinating you that you are straight is more powerful that ordering you to be.

Not that any of that means you must be gay, but if it's using up your energy, and not making itself clear to you, that may be what you are avoiding, and familiarity will overcome your "sickened" reaction.

One signal I avoided and should not have done - years before I came out I once fantasized about having sex with a guy, and it was so arousing that it frightened me off for years. I should have listened to "arousing". So I suggest you try that and listen to whatever it tells you.

Another thing, which should inform your life-choices: who do you fall in love with? Are your stronger emotional bonds with men or with women? I think you'll find more happiness if you go with that.

And remember, if you settle down with a guy, you can still be a father. by donation or adoption.

Lots of good advice in earlier posts, too.

Great points!:smile:

 

[johnjacobs]

I just turned 26 the other day and since high school have been confused by my sexual orientation. I have not had a girlfriend and have not gone on any dates (living at home after college hasn't helped--I'm thinking about moving out within the year). I am not a bad looking guy nor do I lack social skills--just haven't made any moves. I always seem to use the excuse, "I don't want to ruin a good friendship." with any girl that could be a potential match.

As friends start to pair up and a couple have gotten married, it's made me start to think a lot. I find myself recognizing when someone is good looking, both women and men. I really like breasts, something about them makes me take a good stare. The firmness and perkyness is a turn on for me.

But when it comes to masturbation, I find myself looking mostly at naked pictures of guys. Initially I thought this had to do with "envy"--being fascinated with the male form while I was growing up and wondering how I would look when I became a man. However, I also find myself looking at guys in the gym showers. Something about showering nude with other guys is arousing. The forum "Open Locker Room Showers" on LPSG is also exciting. I can't imagine myself having sex with or being intimate with another man, it's sickening to the stomach. I like kids and often think how great it would be to raise a family some day.

I have a routine physical exam coming up in a week and wonder if I should feel comfortable addressing these concerns with my doctor. Overall, I feel comfortable talking to him--he is attentive and genuinely cares about his patients. Last year I had some blood in my ejaculate and mustered up the courage to ask him about it. He said "sexual activity is healthy.", but I didn't have the nerve to tell him I was still a virgin.

Society says you're either straight or gay. It seems more acceptable for women to swing both ways, but a guy cannot. Has any guy on this forum found that they are also attracted to men, but are now in a healthy relationship with a woman? I feel conflicted. Any insight or advice is greatly appreciated.

If you feel comfortable talking with your doctor then do it. It isn't difficult to figure out if someone is good looking or not so don't feel bad when you think to yourself "That person is attractive." I feel that there's nothing sexual about that....you're just acknowledging the obvious!

I don't know what to say about you looking at naked pictures of guys and looking at guys in the locker room because of how you said you could never be intimate or physical with a guy. You say you like breasts, too. My first assumption was bisexuality. But if you don't want to be with a guy then out that goes. Subconsciously you probably just enjoy admiring a good physique!

I have found myself attracted to men and have been in plenty of healthy relationships with women. I am not a medical professional. This is just what I think and I hope this makes you feel better about yourself. I don't think you have any problems! Don't worry and enjoy life.

 

[teen3309]

Thanks for the replies everyone. Snozzle and Johnjacobs provided some good insight. Johnjacobs, you mentioned you have found yourself attracted to men too--in what way? Have you ever acted on this? Appreciate the continued insight.

 

[D_Audemar_Awfulass]

It seems you are like many of us who became aware of theri sexual identity later in life. I was in my thirties, married and with a kid.

If you want to be sure, just look at the porn vids online of men-woman and men-men and find what you like best. I also liked women's tits and long hair but had the same 'problem' dating women, i was too nervous, couldnt get pshysical. But with men it has been very different.

I just turned 26 the other day and since high school have been confused by my sexual orientation. I have not had a girlfriend and have not gone on any dates (living at home after college hasn't helped--I'm thinking about moving out within the year). I am not a bad looking guy nor do I lack social skills--just haven't made any moves. I always seem to use the excuse, "I don't want to ruin a good friendship." with any girl that could be a potential match.

As friends start to pair up and a couple have gotten married, it's made me start to think a lot. I find myself recognizing when someone is good looking, both women and men. I really like breasts, something about them makes me take a good stare. The firmness and perkyness is a turn on for me.

But when it comes to masturbation, I find myself looking mostly at naked pictures of guys. Initially I thought this had to do with "envy"--being fascinated with the male form while I was growing up and wondering how I would look when I became a man. However, I also find myself looking at guys in the gym showers. Something about showering nude with other guys is arousing. The forum "Open Locker Room Showers" on LPSG is also exciting. I can't imagine myself having sex with or being intimate with another man, it's sickening to the stomach. I like kids and often think how great it would be to raise a family some day.

I have a routine physical exam coming up in a week and wonder if I should feel comfortable addressing these concerns with my doctor. Overall, I feel comfortable talking to him--he is attentive and genuinely cares about his patients. Last year I had some blood in my ejaculate and mustered up the courage to ask him about it. He said "sexual activity is healthy.", but I didn't have the nerve to tell him I was still a virgin.

Society says you're either straight or gay. It seems more acceptable for women to swing both ways, but a guy cannot. Has any guy on this forum found that they are also attracted to men, but are now in a healthy relationship with a woman? I feel conflicted. Any insight or advice is greatly appreciated.

 

[sex101]

Hey, I have the very same feelings as you lad, although I'm not a virgin, I'm attracted to girls and also find myself interested in guys ie showering at gym ids etc. Like u said, I also can't see myself having sex with a bloke, it's a sickening thought, I'm glad to hear people are in the same boat, cheers, not sure if I'm gay bi str8. Mybe I'll not give myself a lable. I'm just ME hahahahaha

 

[teen3309]

Sex101, what is it about showering with other guys that catches your interest? Maybe we all get a little excited about being naked around others whether female/male...