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Bilad2989

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Hi all,
fairly new to this site but was just seeking solace/advice. so I'm 32 and had a bad experience in my early 20's in a relationship with a guy, since then I have never frequented or sought any gay partner, I have since slept with many women, and formed some relationships although nothing completely serious. I feel I'm at the point now in life where i should know what i want, but i still am in conflict with myself at times, I've always been more attracted to the person, rather then the sex of them, however only see males as a physical attraction, nothing relationship wise, whilst conversely i seek companionship from women and stability.
sorry for the questions, appreciate any advice anyone can offer :)
thank you
 

Acratopotes

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So with the women, you suggest that you've had more one night stands than relationships. Presumably that means there must be some sexual excitement there - that some or all of them turned you on enough to want to sleep with them. Taken with what you say about being romantically interested in women (and not romantically interested in men) that suggests that you would be most likely to make a success of a relationship with a woman as a good relationship has both romance and sexual attraction.

So you'd need to ask yourself why none of these relationships were serious. Did the sexual excitement die off too soon? Were you each looking for perfection in that other than could not be found? Did it get to the point where she was looking for commitment and you felt unable to give it as something was holding you back?

So what of the male experience. You said that was a relationship too, not just some sexual experimentation. Was he just an ass-hole, or did something make you panic? Did you run scared because you thought your should be with a woman instead? Do you think there is something you never got to explore there?

Is it that you won't commit to a woman because you can't contemplate giving up men, even though you have not been actively pursuing any? But think of it the other way, could you give up women to be with a man?

If you're content to have casual sex and short relationships then you can have both but if you want to settle down it has to be with one or the other. If you can't work it out by which one you feel drawn too, which one could you give up?
 
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OKCLane

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Find a professional therapist in your area. Sexual identity is a complex thing and requires a specialist so choose wisely and interview several until you find a good match.
It will require hard work and serious introspection so don’t pursue it unless you’re ready.
Good luck.