Confused....is my str8, married friend gay?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by LongNThick, Jan 7, 2007.

  1. LongNThick

    LongNThick New Member

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    I NEED ADVICE!!!!!! PLEASE!!!! This is driving me insane!

    I probably know the answer BUT.....

    Picture it........Friends of 10 yrs, one gay, one straight.

    We met ten years ago in a dance company. After we both left the company I moved back down south and he moves back north. We wrote many letters and spoke on the phone often. He now lives in my hometown with his wife of 6 years, they have 2 adorable children and are basically living the “american dream” (for str8’s anyway). But I have always questioned his sexuality. Here is my case:

    1) The letters he sent me before he married were always saying how he was looking at the photo we took in NYC and cannot wait until we live together so we can be the “Golden Guys”.
    2) He calls and tells me to watch “Live Nude Girls”, he then tells me he is the Green Peace guy and I’m Kim Cattrall’s character...in the movie he comes in to the house of a sad Kim and they have wild sex on the table.
    3) He is now married and moves to my hometown. Our friendship has grown stronger, he now opens up more.
    4) I see a common friend of ours out and about who was visiting TX, he asks how our friend is doing. I tell him he is married with children. He then tells me....”wow ...i wont say anything else but i feel sorry for him” (they attended the same high school and were best friends for years)
    5) Sex questions begin. He asks what I do in bed, how it is done. Do I like certain things, etc....
    6) We share our penis size and seems entranced......commenting on it. (i’m 9 inches) He is ALWAYS talking about big his dick is.
    7) Flashes me his penis alone in a hotel room on a trip, on three occasions. Once he got hard and stood in front of the tv so I could see, laughed and then walked away.
    8) Constantly talking about getting his dicked sucked...he says “i dont care i just need lips”.
    9) Always bringing up he is secure in his manhood, saying “i’m straight” and makes comments on some guy or a dick he has seen in porn. Tells me every time he jacks off.
    10) Sitting with him on the plane, he gets hard and makes it pulse...he made sure I saw it cause he told me to look.
    11) He will “mess around” for instance I will be sitting and he will get behind me and push his dick into my back.
    12) Will wear running pants to work (we both teach dance) and pull them way up to his armpits and make me look at his bulge.
    13) Said his wife is not the same person he married.
    14) Complains about sex life.
    15) Always saying he will never cheat but “Damn I need to have sex or get my dick sucked”
    16) Handed me a dvd today, I watch it and it is him jacking off. Went on about his business like it was nothing at all, even joking and laughing about it. I told him that it was “hot”, “he could have a career” and that if he were gay “we would get it on.”

    And that is it in a nutshell. Best friends of 10 yrs and i’m so freaking confused or am i? Have you experienced anything like this?
     
  2. DaveyR

    DaveyR Retired Moderator
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    As you already said you know the answer.

    Brokeback Mountain springs to mind on reading your post.
     
  3. SomeGuyOverThere

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    He may not be 100% gay, but it's really obvious that he wants to atleast experiment with you.

    But I'd reconsider taking up the offer, as I'd say anyone who hands their friends DVDs of themselves masturbating is decidedly odd.
     
  4. camper joe

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    he is looking for some action from you
     
  5. jeff black

    jeff black <img border="0" src="/images/badges/gold_member.gi

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    Rather than asking us, why not ask him?

    Tell him your concerns, ask him his opinion on homosexuality, would he ever consider having some sort of sexual encounter with a guy.

    It sounds like he is trying to justify his arousal towards men, by making comments like " I don't care, I just need a pair of lips". Comments like that allow him to rationalize his feelings and gives him the ability to use men for sex.
     
  6. dreamer20

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    He's saying let's get it on LNT. The ball is in your court.
     
  7. LongNThick

    LongNThick New Member

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    Thanks guys I REALLY appreciate the quick responses!:smile:
     
  8. CUBE

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    He so wants you...not forever...just to play with somne...go for it.
     
  9. tdivinejratiop

    tdivinejratiop New Member

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    did you honestly believe that anyone is absolutely 100% straight or gay?:confused: . . . even if one chooses one identity or the other?????:confused:
     
  10. LongNThick

    LongNThick New Member

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    Do YOU honestly believe that people cannot be 100% gay or straight?
    Well.....I am 100% gay. I do believe some people are 100% either way and other people at various degrees. I simply asked for other people's opinions on what has gone on during my friendship with this man.
     
  11. moishglukovsky

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    He's a gay man trapped in a straight world, a straight marriage, and with straight societal expectations. I've seen lots of it.

    Your friend is not the only one in his predicament. All anyone has to do is sit in a M4M chat room on AOL to know they're full of married men looking for sex with other men.

    I feel sorry for him, because if he chooses his correct life-path now, he hurts a wife and children, and that's painful for him, too.

    I'd offer him advice and counsel, but the LAST thing you want to be is the man who broke up his marriage and "made him gay," which, when the truth surfaces, will be what his wife will think you are. Can you live with that?
     
  12. SammyQ

    SammyQ New Member

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    You should just do something with him but make it terrible so he can go back and appreciate his wife.
    Actually, i don't know what im talking about raelly but its seems like that would work. :-/
     
  13. Principessa

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    These are the options as I see them:
    a) He's Gay

    b) He's Gay, but so far in the closet he thinks a huggable hanger is foreplay.

    c) He wants to have mad monkey sex with you!

    d) He's a professional dancer?? He's GAY!!! (Yes, that's a stereotype, but in this case it is correct.)

    e) Your friend is 90% Straight & 10% Gay. . . ROFLMAO hahahahaha, tee hee hee, hahahaha, snort, chortle, guffaw, ROFLMAO. The only straight person in this story is his wife!

    f) Oh hell, have a guys night out get 2 beers in him and let the games begin. Two beers won't make him drunk, but it will give him an excuse in the morning. :wink: All the two of you have to do is settle in on your sofa, pop his DVD in, and then do the yawn, stretch arm, place arm on his shoulder thing. A kiss should follow and if you can't take it from there, then neither one of you deserves to get fucked or sucked. :tongue:

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

     
  14. basque9

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    It is just my personal opinion, but I believe your bud is a provocateur! I believe he married because that is where he leans most strongly...however, being your best friend he delights in getting his jollies at your expense! I doubt seriously that he will ever follow through with his provocations. He is it seems a guy who delights in baiting, teasing, exhibiting himself and walking a tight rope on the edge of bisexuality. The only way you will ever understand him fully is to make an overt sexual move toward his body! Don't be surprised when he pretends as if you have misconstrued his intentions all along. A bud of mine was forced to leave Furman University under circumstances which parallel yours many years ago.... he took the bait and was repulsed and reported! .....I think I need to state that 50 years ago it was not good form to show your homosexuality in public places such as school or college...easy path to expulsion.
     
  15. Timothy

    Timothy New Member

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    He certainly fancies you: does this make a difference? He is still yr friend and if u r his, u shd ask him.Tell him u r flattered ( as u shd be) but not attracted. Or possibly you are...?
     
  16. fortiesfun

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    I don't think there is much subtlety in this case. Your friend is either gay or bi, and he is interested in you. You should decide how interested you are in return, lay down your parameters, and follow your heart. The hard part is setting and sticking to your own boundaries, so that there is something in it for you, too. (And for what it is worth, sex changes things. Decide if you are willing to go there and what you might happen to the friendship once it becomes something else.)
     
  17. chicagosam

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    Just be aware in dealing with a straight guy that is probably bi is that he will be in and out of your life if there are any feelings for you. A classic "hit and run" lover. The fear of what those feelings for you may imply may send him running, and you will be looked upon as the problem. Everytime he gets to close, he will put distance between both of you, but he will be back for more. The problem of course is his, not yours, but it may be difficult for you&#8212;heartbreaking&#8212;as he needs distance to maintain the image he would like to be percieved as, but not the reality of what you know in your heart that he can't accept. Once he can accept his feelings for you, you may have the relationship that both of you want.
     
  18. husky14620

    husky14620 New Member

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    He's definitely trying to get to third base or further with you, but if you're smart, DON'T DO IT!

    10 Years is a long time and a lot of history to throw away for one or two quick rolls in the hay.

    Besides, he'll need a good friend, once he comes out, to help him over the rough spots. Your ten years mean you can be entirely honest after he gets there.
     
  19. G4z

    G4z New Member

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    sounds hot, wish i had a 'straight' friend like this guy! lol!
     
  20. Knockernail

    Knockernail Member

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    Girl, you´re sexy, you´re hot and (i think) you´re right.
     
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