Confused. Need advice.

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by someotherguy, May 22, 2009.

  1. someotherguy

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jul 31, 2006
    Messages:
    606
    Albums:
    3
    Likes Received:
    536
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Boston (MA, US)
    Verified:
    Photo
    Ok, I work with a girl who I think is very cute and I enjoy those rare times we share a shift. I'm not in love with her but if given a chance to develop something then I would like to try. Last weekend she texted me and asked if I would like to join her at a bar to see some live music. I was more than happy to hang out with her. We had never done so outside of work. I would have taken this as a sign that she liked me but I was thrown for a loop when she showed up with her brother who's about the same age as her.

    Now, if I had invited her and she did that then I would know that I had fallen into the friend zone again. A zone of which I have become very familiar. But she invited me. I've asked a few female friends about this and they are confused as well. Now I turn to you guys. I'm not worrying my head off about this but it has been gnawing at the back of my head all week. If it happens, it happens but I would like to know if there might be something to pursue here. If not then I'm perfectly fine with being a friend.
     
  2. 8060

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 1, 2008
    Messages:
    1,363
    Albums:
    3
    Likes Received:
    1,026
    Location:
    The Midwest
    Verified:
    Photo
    If your work relationship is strictly on a friend level and you haven't shown her any interest of an intimate level that you have for her, then she wouldn't have thought that there was anything wrong with bringing her brother. You can think she's cute and fun all day, but until she knows that's how you feel, she might act in the same fashion again. Let your real interest be known to her and your next outing may just be the two of you.
     
  3. VeeP

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 3, 2005
    Messages:
    1,787
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    2
    Gender:
    Male
    Don't know the relative ages here, but either she intended it to be "just friends" or perhaps she was being cautious the first time out, i.e., making sure you weren't a freak or something. Pursue it and see what happens. Invite her to do something this time. If she brings her brother again, you'll know something's up.
     
  4. heist

    heist New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 10, 2008
    Messages:
    131
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    13
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    At the beach. : )
    Yes, I would agree with VeeP -- if you invite her to go to something again and she brings someone like her brother, you'll know how she feels about you. Otherwise, it's open territory to try again and see where it goes.

    I know that's not the most satisfying of paths, but it'll be the safest.
     
  5. Wish-4-8

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2008
    Messages:
    2,808
    Likes Received:
    2
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    LA, California
    I would stop this. Don't go out again. Keep your relationship professional. If you like her that much, quit your job, then ask her out. Do not date people where you work. Its all fun and games until its not. Disaster will happen. Its not a matter of if, but when. Then you will hate going to work, or, "that place where that bitch is." You could ignore me and think you are the exception to the rule. Heck everyone thinks they are.
     
  6. mcctguy

    mcctguy Member

    Joined:
    Nov 9, 2006
    Messages:
    113
    Likes Received:
    5
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    USA
    Nail her at the earliest opportunity.
     
Draft saved Draft deleted