Confused Sexuality

[Pene_Negro_Grande]

Originally posted by madame_zora@Jul 24 2005, 03:55 PM
I have been reading this thread with great interest, I'm glad that you are comfortable with your sexuality and open enough about it to talk to others like this, Pene. a lot of what this board is about has been revealed here. I wish more guys who were questioning their sexuality had people like you and Lex and the other contributors here to talk to. There aren't a lot of gay/straight mixed clubs in a lot of areas and many are only given the choice of one or the other, if there are any clubs for gays at all. I know there are a lot of guys who have curiosity but are uncomfortable with the "gay scene" and would never investigate in that world. We make progress through small steps, but I think a few of those have been taken here.

[post=331463]Quoted post[/post]​

Thanks...The area I live in interacts quite well with straights and gays...I mean when I was at a party this past weekend at my friends place who is straight - there were guy kissing guys, girls kissing girls, and equally us straight folks and no one felt uncomfortable or even out of place...I think I am lucky but it is kind of sad that the whole country isn't like this...

 

[Njal]

What is interesting is that the terms 'homosexual' and 'heterosexual' are fairly recent inventions. And, once the language has terms for something, people start feeling the need to categorized themselves whereas before people would have gay sex without necessarily thinking of themselves as 'gay.' I guess my point is that people should worry less about what category they're in and just go with the flow.

 

[madame_zora]

Njal, that's a beautiful thought. You guys rock my world, I hope it really comes to pass.

 

[Alley Blue]

Originally posted by coolioc@Jul 23 2005, 06:47 AM
BTW, from all the posts I've read of yours, it's very difficult to hear you say that you're not a very emotional person and don't offer much emotional support. You do seem to bring up lots of issues you encounter in your life and ask people how to deal with them or what they think. Obviously you care very deeply, especially when these have involved close friends doing inappropriate things while intoxicated. At the same time, you are usually amongst the first of people to share wisdom and provide a point of view when people post angsty situations and seek supporrt.

[post=330925]Quoted post[/post]​

This is EXACTLY how I feel about all your post PNG. You strike me as a person who has emotions and a heart as deep as the sea.

 

[Alley Blue]

Originally posted by Pene_Negro_Grande+Jul 23 2005, 07:50 AM--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Pene_Negro_Grande &#064; Jul 23 2005, 07:50 AM)</div><div class='quotemain'><!--QuoteBegin-coolioc@Jul 23 2005, 02:53 AM
I&#39;m very glad that a board like this is around to ask these questions. It&#39;s always amazing to me that a board whose premise is purely a focus on large penis support can offer so much support in other avenues of life as well.

[post=330926]Quoted post[/post]​

So true...It like going to therapy...I have been more open about my sexuality since discovering this site...

[post=330940]Quoted post[/post]​

[/b][/quote]

I have to agree with both of you.

Its really amazing to find a warm, civilized place like this. Usually a site with a name like this draws the worst kind of conversations and people.

 

[Alley Blue]

Originally posted by Pene_Negro_Grande@Jul 23 2005, 07:36 AM
Never really thought about that...Don&#39;t really have an specific fantasy that I would want to experience w/a guy...I think I am just a sexual person and kissing and oral is about as far as my imagination will take it

[post=330937]Quoted post[/post]​

I was kinda thinking perhaps you just have an appreciation for the good looks of a man ( in the same way a woman can look at another woman and tell there good looking, yet not be a lesbian) and nothing more. At the moment it becomes sexual all interest is lost.

Usually with sexual attraction there&#39;s at least one fantasy thats gets replayed in a person&#39;s mind. That one situation in which you would love to be in, with the same sex, but never told anyone.

 

[Pene_Negro_Grande]

bairdoman - I feel a lot like you...A lot of the stuff you said sounds alot of things I think about...

 

[Pene_Negro_Grande]

Originally posted by alleyblu@Jul 25 2005, 08:33 AM
This is EXACTLY how I feel about all your post PNG. You strike me as a person who has emotions and a heart as deep as the sea.

[post=331752]Quoted post[/post]​

I do care alot for others, especially my friends...Just not emotional when it comes to myself especially when it comes to relationships (I know that might sound strange)...I just like to treat people the way I would want to be treated as cliche as that might sound...

 

[Pene_Negro_Grande]

Originally posted by alleyblu@Jul 25 2005, 08:33 AM
This is EXACTLY how I feel about all your post PNG. You strike me as a person who has emotions and a heart as deep as the sea.

[post=331752]Quoted post[/post]​

I do care alot for others, especially my friends...Just not emotional when it comes to myself especially when it comes to relationships (I know that might sound strange)...I just like to treat people the way I would want to be treated as cliche as that might sound...

 

[Slamdunk_dude]

I&#39;m so glad I started this post&#33; From what I have read so far it definately leans towards the theory that everyone has a completely unique sexuality, my worrying about whether I fit into one of 3 categories (gay, straight, bi) certainly seems pretty insignificant.
Incidentally I spoke to another 2 friends about my feelings, both were amazingly unfazed and I was able to have a deep discussion with both. I was so afraid that my relationships with people would change but if anything they have become stronger and people appreciated the fact that I am willing to be honest about every aspect of myself. I have given up on attempting to categorise myself and am instead working on fully accepting myself and allowing myself the freedom to have new experiences.
I cannot thank everyone who has posted here enough. I no longer feel that I have to "pick a side" and let everyone know what it is, I have instead evaluated my feelings with the help of some very close friends and feel much more secure in the knowledge that there is nothing wrong in feeling the way i do.
I still have not brought these issues up with my family yet, I think that will take more time and considerable thought.
Thank you all again so much, if everyone was willing to explore every aspect of themselves and accept it for what it is I think the world would be a much happier place

Slamdunk_dude

 

[B_DoubleMeatWhopper]

Originally posted by Slamdunk_dude@Jul 26 2005, 07:32 PM
I was so afraid that my relationships with people would change but if anything they have become stronger and people appreciated the fact that I am willing to be honest about every aspect of myself.

Of course. You have chosen to share something very personal about yourself. By doing so, you have allowed your friends into a special situation we call &#39;trust&#39;. Virtues such as that tend to strengthen friendships.

 

[Ecchi]

I still have a lot of the same issues and problems when it comes to sexuality and how I feel about other men and women.

 

[Pene_Negro_Grande]

Originally posted by Slamdunk_dude@Jul 26 2005, 08:32 PM
I&#39;m so glad I started this post&#33; From what I have read so far it definately leans towards the theory that everyone has a completely unique sexuality, my worrying about whether I fit into one of 3 categories (gay, straight, bi) certainly seems pretty insignificant.

I cannot thank everyone who has posted here enough. I no longer feel that I have to "pick a side" and let everyone know what it is, I have instead evaluated my feelings with the help of some very close friends and feel much more secure in the knowledge that there is nothing wrong in feeling the way i do.
and accept it for what it is I think the world would be a much happier place

Slamdunk_dude

[post=331925]Quoted post[/post]​

You know I am glad you brought this thread up too because this site made me realize the exact same thing and I am much more comfortable in my own skin and feel a lot closer to my best friends now that I understand myself a bit more...

 

[coolioc]

Originally posted by Pene_Negro_Grande@Jul 25 2005, 08:25 AM
bairdoman - I feel a lot like you...A lot of the stuff you said sounds alot of things I think about...

[post=331792]Quoted post[/post]​

Wow, that&#39;s exactly what I was thinking when I read bairdoman&#39;s post. Just yesterday at the beach I was thinking those same thoughts of inadequacy mixed with thoughts of desire. And fortunately/unfortunately in Southern California you run into hot guys jogging past you every minute or so on the beach.

I just wish other than here (although it&#39;s great to share here and listen) that I had people in "real life" to share these thoughts when they come up. I wish I were as comfortable with friends as slamdunk_dude was to be able to share this part of my life with.

I can only hope our society becomes more progressive in terms of acceptance of LGBT people and I can be more at ease about my preferences.

 

[Slamdunk_dude]

Originally posted by coolioc@Jul 27 2005, 07:42 AM


I just wish other than here (although it&#39;s great to share here and listen) that I had people in "real life" to share these thoughts when they come up. I wish I were as comfortable with friends as slamdunk_dude was to be able to share this part of my life with.

[post=332027]Quoted post[/post]​

Hey coolioc,

Bear in mind that I have only spoken to 3 people about this. Please don&#39;t be under the misconception that everyone knows. It wasn&#39;t easy either, it took literally an hour of one friend telling me that he "wouldn&#39;t hate me" before I would say anything. I was just at a point where I had to tell someone. You may not be at that point yet. Don&#39;t pressure yourself and rest assured that plenty of people feel the way that we do, you can always voice any concerns here.

Good luck and don&#39;t worry too much


Slamdunk_dude

 

[coolioc]

Originally posted by Slamdunk_dude@Jul 26 2005, 11:58 PM
Hey coolioc,

Bear in mind that I have only spoken to 3 people about this. Please don&#39;t be under the misconception that everyone knows. It wasn&#39;t easy either, it took literally an hour of one friend telling me that he "wouldn&#39;t hate me" before I would say anything. I was just at a point where I had to tell someone. You may not be at that point yet. Don&#39;t pressure yourself and rest assured that plenty of people feel the way that we do, you can always voice any concerns here.

Good luck and don&#39;t worry too much


Slamdunk_dude

[post=332029]Quoted post[/post]​

Thanks man. I&#39;m glad for you that you have even that many people to tell. It does sound like it was a very difficult thing to do. Congrats on getting some of what you feel off your chest to people that really mean something to you.

Other than the 2 guys I have secretly messed around with, there is only 1 friend I have ever mentioned that I may be bi to. But this was like 4 years ago, and I emailed it out in a "BTW" manner without really following up on it. I&#39;m not sure if this person really read the email since it wasn&#39;t spoken of again. She is a very supportive friend but we have sort of grown apart due to professional demands on our lives (schooling, career etc) and only really chat once every 4 months or so. If I try to rekindle the friendship a little more it is possible she is the one I may confide in. But man oh man, I wish I had more backbone and self-confidence to tell at least a few more friends.

 

[coolioc]

Originally posted by madame_zora@Jul 24 2005, 12:55 PM
I have been reading this thread with great interest, I&#39;m glad that you are comfortable with your sexuality and open enough about it to talk to others like this, Pene. a lot of what this board is about has been revealed here. I wish more guys who were questioning their sexuality had people like you and Lex and the other contributors here to talk to. There aren&#39;t a lot of gay/straight mixed clubs in a lot of areas and many are only given the choice of one or the other, if there are any clubs for gays at all. I know there are a lot of guys who have curiosity but are uncomfortable with the "gay scene" and would never investigate in that world. We make progress through small steps, but I think a few of those have been taken here.

[post=331463]Quoted post[/post]​

It&#39;s very nice to have some of the bigger faces on this board involved in this thread too. Thank you MZ and DMW for being a part of this as well&#33;

 

[Pene_Negro_Grande]

Originally posted by Slamdunk_dude@Jul 27 2005, 02:58 AM
Hey coolioc,

Bear in mind that I have only spoken to 3 people about this. Please don&#39;t be under the misconception that everyone knows. It wasn&#39;t easy either, it took literally an hour of one friend telling me that he "wouldn&#39;t hate me" before I would say anything. I was just at a point where I had to tell someone. You may not be at that point yet. Don&#39;t pressure yourself and rest assured that plenty of people feel the way that we do, you can always voice any concerns here.

Good luck and don&#39;t worry too much


Slamdunk_dude

[post=332029]Quoted post[/post]​

You are still ahead of me and I commend you...I have only told one other person but only after he revealed the same thing to me...

 

[Slamdunk_dude]

Hey Pene,
There is no point in you telling people if you aren&#39;t ready and/or don&#39;t feel the need to. The only reason I did was that it was driving me crazy at that point in time, plus I am a very open person and find it hard to keep things to myself.
Recently I have been focusing on the issue a LOT and considering whether I should say anything to my family, I&#39;m still in the same position I was and don&#39;t really know what I would say to them (its very different with friends as I&#39;m sure you understand). It&#39;s so hard to describe but when I&#39;m around my family and they say things like "are there any girls you&#39;re interested in?" I just feel like blurting everything out&#33;
It&#39;s so difficult, some days I can&#39;t stop looking at girls and other days at boys. One very good thing that has come from this board is learning to accept yourself totally. I have reconciled myself to the fact that my attraction to guys is another facet of my personality/ sexuality and should not be something i am ashamed or embarrased about. I am gradually becoming more open with it in public eg: saying to people when I think a guy is good-looking wheras before I would never have dared. I am also aware that it is impossible to have all the answers now. After speaking to my friends I came to the conclusion that sexuality can easily shift over time, I may well turn out to be (to use the dreaded labels) totally gay, totally straight, or as I am right now, somewhere in the middle&#33;
These issues are so hard to articulate
I&#39;m just so glad this board is back up and running&#33;

 

[coolioc]

Originally posted by Slamdunk_dude@Aug 9 2005, 05:13 PM
Hey Pene,
There is no point in you telling people if you aren&#39;t ready and/or don&#39;t feel the need to. The only reason I did was that it was driving me crazy at that point in time, plus I am a very open person and find it hard to keep things to myself.
Recently I have been focusing on the issue a LOT and considering whether I should say anything to my family, I&#39;m still in the same position I was and don&#39;t really know what I would say to them (its very different with friends as I&#39;m sure you understand). It&#39;s so hard to describe but when I&#39;m around my family and they say things like "are there any girls you&#39;re interested in?" I just feel like blurting everything out&#33;
It&#39;s so difficult, some days I can&#39;t stop looking at girls and other days at boys. One very good thing that has come from this board is learning to accept yourself totally. I have reconciled myself to the fact that my attraction to guys is another facet of my personality/ sexuality and should not be something i am ashamed or embarrased about. I am gradually becoming more open with it in public eg: saying to people when I think a guy is good-looking wheras before I would never have dared. I am also aware that it is impossible to have all the answers now. After speaking to my friends I came to the conclusion that sexuality can easily shift over time, I may well turn out to be (to use the dreaded labels) totally gay, totally straight, or as I am right now, somewhere in the middle&#33;
These issues are so hard to articulate
I&#39;m just so glad this board is back up and running&#33;

[post=334122]Quoted post[/post]​

Cheers to the board being back up&#33; :toast:

I just wish I had even an ounce of your courage. I don&#39;t know why I am so concerned with what others think about me. I sometimes think the easiest way for me to be able to deal with my problems is to just have a clean break away from my family and friends. No one will be totally shocked, no one will be whispering about me.

Of course I know I can&#39;t go the easy route and run away from my difficulties. I think just need to find me a guy somehow, as difficult for me as it has been. I think I just need to know that I have some emotional support even if things get all messed up with family and other friends.

As good as this sounds, I still get hung up on the how to find a gay or bisexual guy who is willing to deal with a guy who is still dealing with coming out and uncertainty over orientation. Why can&#39;t I find more open-minded people like those on the board? :shrug: