Jonb, what do you mean guys only attracted to guys aren't a "Jack"? What's a Jack? (I'm dense this morning... sorry.)
Confused Sexuality
- Thread starter Slamdunk_dude
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Jonb, what do you mean guys only attracted to guys aren't a "Jack"? What's a Jack? (I'm dense this morning... sorry.)
NO way are you wierd man..I am 22 and i told my mom when i was 13 that i liked boys...i too was in your shoes but on the other end of the spectrum
i was str8 and forced myself to make a descision early on and now i am still attracted emotionaly and maturly on women but feel a need to have sex...well jo and oral with a man. Now i feel stuck in gay and trying to go str8.....i dont know what to make of it but heres to you and me and the countess others who are proof that there is the best of both worlds...and we can live there everyday in harmony ....if only the rest of the worldd wasnt so labeling
cheers to you mate :toast:
i was str8 and forced myself to make a descision early on and now i am still attracted emotionaly and maturly on women but feel a need to have sex...well jo and oral with a man. Now i feel stuck in gay and trying to go str8.....i dont know what to make of it but heres to you and me and the countess others who are proof that there is the best of both worlds...and we can live there everyday in harmony ....if only the rest of the worldd wasnt so labeling
cheers to you mate :toast:
massage, those pics of you in the gallery are enough to make any guy wish he were gay.
Hey there massagethrpst,
That is so interesting as I was thinking the other day "what would have happened if I had told my family at an early age that I liked boys?" I guess they would have had time to accept it. It's great that you were so open so young but also difficult as you are now stuck in other people's perceptions of you.
Do you think that it is more accepted for a "gay" guy to like girls or for a "straight" guy to like guys? You are the total opposite of my situation and in some wierd way I am quite jealous lol
As far as family goes with me, at least 1 family member knows I have thought about being with a guy, but I think that others suspect something.
Dear DC_DEEP, I very much appreciate your comments, I respect you for saying that you feel that "your own ideas about sexuality, and your perception about the perceptions of others, is coloring your thinking." but I'm not sure that they are. Do you mean that I fear people thinking that I am gay? because if that is the case then most people assume I am anyway, so that isn't really an issue.
I am however trying to work out my own feelings towards men and women and hope that I would not "deny" myself anything to fit into other peoples perceptions.
Likewise I am not going to identify myself as "gay" or "straight" right now just because I am attracted to both men and women, does that make sense?
Anyway thank you all for your advice and comments and I look forward to hearing more!
Slamdunk_dude
ps: cheers right back at ya massagethrpst
:toast:
That is so interesting as I was thinking the other day "what would have happened if I had told my family at an early age that I liked boys?" I guess they would have had time to accept it. It's great that you were so open so young but also difficult as you are now stuck in other people's perceptions of you.
Do you think that it is more accepted for a "gay" guy to like girls or for a "straight" guy to like guys? You are the total opposite of my situation and in some wierd way I am quite jealous lol
As far as family goes with me, at least 1 family member knows I have thought about being with a guy, but I think that others suspect something.
Dear DC_DEEP, I very much appreciate your comments, I respect you for saying that you feel that "your own ideas about sexuality, and your perception about the perceptions of others, is coloring your thinking." but I'm not sure that they are. Do you mean that I fear people thinking that I am gay? because if that is the case then most people assume I am anyway, so that isn't really an issue.
I am however trying to work out my own feelings towards men and women and hope that I would not "deny" myself anything to fit into other peoples perceptions.
Likewise I am not going to identify myself as "gay" or "straight" right now just because I am attracted to both men and women, does that make sense?
Anyway thank you all for your advice and comments and I look forward to hearing more!
Slamdunk_dude
ps: cheers right back at ya massagethrpst
:toast:
Pene_Negro_Grande
Experimental Member
Slamdunk_dude as long as it makes sense to you, I feel you will be okay....Deciding what works for you will make a world of difference....I imagine coming out to your family and friends would be difficult but if you feel it is necessary for your own sanity then do it....Like I have said before that I have a slight attraction to men too but not enough to warrent me telling my friends and family but I commend anyone who does....But I don't even talk about my relationships with females to my friends and family so my friends respect my privacy anyway....You seem to be figuring things out at your own pace and I think that is a good thing....At least you are acknowledging your sexaulity and is a very important step....I am comfortable with my sexuality now and it is a good thing because you can really enjoy life at that point....
Thedrewbert
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What if you're heteroflexible.
It's an addition to the homo-bi-hetero scale. It goes like this
homosexual - likes same sex exclusively
homoflexible - likes same sex mostly, will most likely end up with same sex in a long term relationship, still has relations with opposite sex from time to time
bi - likes both equally
heteroflexible - likes opposite sex mostly, will most likely end up with opposite sex in long term relationship, still has relations with same sex from time to time
heterosexual - likes opposite sex exclusively
It's an addition to the homo-bi-hetero scale. It goes like this
homosexual - likes same sex exclusively
homoflexible - likes same sex mostly, will most likely end up with same sex in a long term relationship, still has relations with opposite sex from time to time
bi - likes both equally
heteroflexible - likes opposite sex mostly, will most likely end up with opposite sex in long term relationship, still has relations with same sex from time to time
heterosexual - likes opposite sex exclusively
Pene_Negro_Grande
Experimental Member
Interesting concept. I have moved from 100% heterosexual when I was much younger to somewhere between homoflexible and homosexual at this point in my life. Sexual orientation is apparently a continuum, based on all of these comments in this forum. I don't think many of us are 100% at either end of the spectrum for all of our lives. I wish when I were younger that there had been more open discussion and understanding of these concepts and feelings. It would have saved me thousands of dollars in therapy. I have had lots of therapy when I was younger, but my orientation has never been changed by therapy. I finally decided to accept who I was and where I was, and I have been fine since.
- jonb,
Well, these labels show problems. You find yourself constantly inventing new labels to explain the entire spectrum. There are also emosexuals, heterosexuals who date members of the same sex on occasion to be "alternative". And DLs, married men who play around with other men. Mark Simpson (of "metrosexual" fame) has coined another neologism: Homohetero, for straight guys who watch Oz.
Alley Blue
Sexy Member
:rofl:
Labels were once meant to simplify things, but then you have some people who go overboard with them. Not to mention the fact that its hard to label things of complex origin like sexuality........
Give yourself time, my friend. I always knew I felt different. Had a stange fascination with friends' fathers as early as age 5. Growing up, I felt somethnig stirring (no pun intended0 when I saw a handsome guy. I dated and had physical relationships with women, but knew at around age 21 that I could honestly say to myself "I'm gay." No big deal.
Perhaps your feelings of not being able to imagine yourself in a relationship with a man is some unconsious resistance. Or fear of the unknown. Or simply the fact that you're 18 and most people are not ready for a FT relationship at that age. Let it unfold. Feel your feelings. Don't deny yourself the truth. And remember, we're here for you.
Best
Tony
:yourock:
Perhaps your feelings of not being able to imagine yourself in a relationship with a man is some unconsious resistance. Or fear of the unknown. Or simply the fact that you're 18 and most people are not ready for a FT relationship at that age. Let it unfold. Feel your feelings. Don't deny yourself the truth. And remember, we're here for you.
Best
Tony
:yourock:
Since I had a part in this post early on, and have continued to benefit from it directly, I thought I might share my experiences in the last week.
You may remember that I was so confused about am I bi, am I straight, am I gay, am I just homoflexible or heteroflexible. I was kind of despondent because I am now 27 and am now just coming to terms with sexuality. My experiences with gay guys in the past were bad because I was still in the infancy of gay awareness and the men were unprepared to help me through it. I cramped their style a little so to speak.
So at the behest of people in this post and elsewhere, I found a place to meet other gay men online who were not just about finding a momentary hookup. Basically everyone here gave me the inspiration to come out of my shell and make the first moves online.
After a few days I hit it off with 2 guys online, one of which I've seen twice in the last week and chat with regularly. The other man I met today for a date, and we hit it off really well. Almost too well. It's sad though as it appears he is a foreign exchange student and will need to leave at the end of the year. Nonetheless I think he could be a good resource and a dear long distance email friend.
One may not understand how much confidence this gives me in terms of my sexuality. I actually should change my identifier to 90% gay, 10% straight after this week of emotional bliss. I even was considering calling a friend of mine for some coffee to come out to her (her dad had come out while she was in her early 20s). Just one other "my world" friend knowing would probably further inspire me to come out to the rest of the world.
I hope this can be at least a little bit inspirational to others as well, and proof that LPSG does help.
:grouphug:
You may remember that I was so confused about am I bi, am I straight, am I gay, am I just homoflexible or heteroflexible. I was kind of despondent because I am now 27 and am now just coming to terms with sexuality. My experiences with gay guys in the past were bad because I was still in the infancy of gay awareness and the men were unprepared to help me through it. I cramped their style a little so to speak.
So at the behest of people in this post and elsewhere, I found a place to meet other gay men online who were not just about finding a momentary hookup. Basically everyone here gave me the inspiration to come out of my shell and make the first moves online.
After a few days I hit it off with 2 guys online, one of which I've seen twice in the last week and chat with regularly. The other man I met today for a date, and we hit it off really well. Almost too well. It's sad though as it appears he is a foreign exchange student and will need to leave at the end of the year. Nonetheless I think he could be a good resource and a dear long distance email friend.
One may not understand how much confidence this gives me in terms of my sexuality. I actually should change my identifier to 90% gay, 10% straight after this week of emotional bliss. I even was considering calling a friend of mine for some coffee to come out to her (her dad had come out while she was in her early 20s). Just one other "my world" friend knowing would probably further inspire me to come out to the rest of the world.
I hope this can be at least a little bit inspirational to others as well, and proof that LPSG does help.
:grouphug:
Lex
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Reading your thread was wierd, it was like I had written it myself.
The article you read about there being no such thing as Bi is a load of crap, I was very curious about my sexuality for a while so I experimented for a bit.
What I found was that I fancy men but don't like being in relationships with them. The same as you I suppose, but what I also found was that I don't find gay sexual experiences as good either (good but not as good). That doesn't mean I don't find them very attractive or that they don't turn me on
All I can really advise you is that your sexuality is so complex that trying to pigeon hole yourself into a box will do your head in. Just accept whatever you feel when you see someone
Straight and gay are 2 polar extremes and I doubt anyone is firmly at one end
If you want to talk about it just mail me
The article you read about there being no such thing as Bi is a load of crap, I was very curious about my sexuality for a while so I experimented for a bit.
What I found was that I fancy men but don't like being in relationships with them. The same as you I suppose, but what I also found was that I don't find gay sexual experiences as good either (good but not as good). That doesn't mean I don't find them very attractive or that they don't turn me on
All I can really advise you is that your sexuality is so complex that trying to pigeon hole yourself into a box will do your head in. Just accept whatever you feel when you see someone
Straight and gay are 2 polar extremes and I doubt anyone is firmly at one end
If you want to talk about it just mail me
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