Confused?

Discussion in 'New Member Introductions' started by nitesteed, May 14, 2010.

  1. nitesteed

    nitesteed New Member

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    Okay, I have been stressing over this but haven't told anyone before, so I figure this would be a good place to vent, anonymously. It is concerning my sexuality.

    I remember when I first started watching porn, I watched straight porn, for quite a few years. Eventually I noticed that I would focus more on the penis than the woman - not the guy per say, just the penis. However, I am with a girl who I truly love, and in the future I want a family with her.

    I am attracted to girls emotionally as well as sexually, but I have an attraction to guys as well. This attraction is only sexually - I could never see myself actually being with another guy. For example, I find a guy giving a blowjob to be hot, but if they kiss it is a turn off. Porn-wise, I tend to watch more gay porn now. Recently I have found one reason for this, in most straight porn the girls act like sluts. I do not enjoy the over the top screaming and moaning that plagues the industry. Also, I enjoy watching gay anal, but the thought of actually performing anal sex slightly disgusts me... I'm kind of attracted to girls and penis.

    Sorry if this is one long confusing rant, but I am still in the process of working it out in my own head. What I am basically trying to say is: I am attracted to girls emotionally, but men turn me on sexually...I want to have a family with this girl in the future, but I don't want to have to keep any dark secrets.

    Do you think this might just be a "phase" or might I be Bi? I am not very good at clearly voicing my thoughts, so theres more things that I can't really find how to say.
     
  2. luvmycock8

    luvmycock8 New Member

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    me and you are on the same page buddy. to the tee!
     
  3. Stg66

    Stg66 New Member

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    You are not alone. I am happily involved with a female. I too enjoy cock. I know you are looking for an answer to your dilema but only you can figure that out on your own. I bet a lot of the guys here are in the same boat. I await your response...
     
  4. Countryguy63

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    Welcome :smile:

    First, you ARE bi, and that's ok. To what degree you are bi may be the question. That can vary from just being able to appreciate a man and his equipment, all the way to a same sex relationship.

    The main reason that you are "confused" about it, is that society has determined that you should be :mad:. It's ok to be attracted to both sexes :smile:. What is great, is that you are trying to deal with this and sort it out, instead of denying it and burying it, as most do. (been there-done that :frown1:)

    Go with your feelings and don't limit your experiences based on societys' pressure. In fact, if you are wanting a "family with a woman" in your future, it's best if you take this time to get to know who you truly are, and then go into each new relationship with the knowledge and honesty that builds a strong foundation.

    Good Luck in your journey and Welcome to the board! :smile: Keep communicating here and many will sincerely be willing to help as you need.
     
  5. nitesteed

    nitesteed New Member

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    Thanks for the support guys :) As mentioned, I guess it's really something I have to work out myself. I mainly posted this just to "get it out" you know? Even if nothing changes, it's good to release some of the pressure ^^
     
  6. luvmycock8

    luvmycock8 New Member

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    am i really bi though? i just want me and my lady to blow some huuge cock together and ill go from there. until then ill blow her huge realistic dildo wile we fuck!
     
  7. Countryguy63

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    *sincere question*** Do you think that there's something wrong with being bi?

    I ask because you sound a bit resistant to it. If you are thinking about, fantasizing about, or wanting to perform anything sexual with any part of a man, yes, you are bi. It's a good thing. Embrace it :smile:
     
  8. gjon30

    gjon30 New Member

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    I think ppl are too hung up on labels in general, can't people be just be sexual?? The great thing about being men is that we can detach the physical aspect of sex from the mental.

    A sexual act from a dude or a chick, is just that. What makes sex with women so rewarding is the actual feelings you have for that woman, let it be love or something else. However, if you have got a guy fixation, maybe fooled around a little bit with another man, no feelings, isn't that just masturbation + 1??

    If you say your bi, but could never see yourself involved with men, how does that work? Doesn't attraction, gay, straight, or whatever have involve feelings as well? Then one would be saying gay men are only attracted to men for the sex, but clearly that is not the case because millions of gay men love each other, and live their lives as couples just like straight people.

    I believe your sexual orientation must involve deeper emotions than just physical attraction, or sex. I consider myself 100% straight, I love women, I love sex with them, I love the way they smell, I love the way they fit so cozy in my arms. I can appreciate a hot guy though, a nice dick, and that stuff too. But when you see that special girl from across the bar, eyeing you that way, you get a sensation inside you that is soooo wonderful.

    So again, people are hung up on labels, you like what you like, and why do you need to put a name on it? If you can't see urself involved with a man emotionally, then you're not bi, or gay, you're you. Maybe you got a different fetish, looking @ gay porn, or jacking thinking about guys. That's a hell of lot better than some of the twisted shit people are into (pedophilia, actual shit, getting their balls trampled by women in heels, haha) Live your life dude, be happy, and be good to others!
     
    #8 gjon30, May 20, 2010
    Last edited: May 20, 2010
  9. Nickthebull9

    Nickthebull9 New Member

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    Yes your bi and not gay but you need to start thinking about what makes you hat about pussy if your go to stay with her . You may be a cuckold they love their wives absolve watching their wives get fucked by a hung man some even suck the bulls cock
     
  10. kevind33

    kevind33 Member

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    i do agree with Countryguy is just something that you have to doi guess i could be called soul searching,but Countryguy pretty much hit it on the head p.s welcome to the boards.
     
  11. pepinogrande

    pepinogrande Well-Known Member

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    1. Sexuality is complicated; that can also make it wonderful.

    2. Take your time. Never ever get in a legalized relationship with someone (either sex) that you have not known for at least 5 years, including their family. (We marry families.)

    3. Brains do not even mature physically until age 30. Wait until over that age to get into a legal relationship that would bring about children / and or / lawyers to get out of.

    4. If you take GJON's statement (#8) and take his 3rd paragraph and reverse it: that would be me. I am a 5.9999 on the Kinsey Scale of 0-6. And, yet, I have been married 25 years in a good marriage. But, I told her years before our marriage and we waited until we were both sure. We did not want to raise children and subject them to a divorce because of our OWN immaturity. I am NOT making a religious statement when I say that i do not think with current data, that divorce is an option. Read http://www.amazon.com/Unexpected-Legacy-Divorce-Landmark-Study/dp/0786886161. It is much better that we wait and take our time with legalizing relationships and having children. I am not speaking of sex. Have all you want with as many as you want. But, when you FINALLY want to start a family, settle down, marry and stick with it: that is the maturity that you owe your children.

    5. I would really suggest that you explore the website. gØyrus.com which is related to G0YS.org - GUYS who love Masculinity, but don't identify as Gay! which is the informational website. The Zero in gØy is for NO unsafe sex. The whole website was developed for guys just like you and me : guys that have high curiosity --a sign of brightness-- and who want to safely explore our sexuality in between the two poles of 0 to 6 on the Kinsey Scale. We do not call ourselves gay or straight. WE ARE JUST MEN ... VERY , VERY, SEXUAL and SENSUAL MEN !. And, we are HONEST MEN. We admit to multiple attractions.

    7. You might also enjoy learning from the handsome people on:
    Amish-Guys_SameSex_Attraction_QnA : Amish-Guys_SameSex_Attraction_QnA

    Summary: you are NORMAL. But, i would NEVER enter a life-long relationship without years of discernment including a number of good discussions with your perspective partner. Feel free to message me privately if it is useful to you.
     
    #11 pepinogrande, Feb 21, 2013
    Last edited: Feb 21, 2013
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