Confused

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by nychild, Sep 23, 2010.

  1. nychild

    nychild New Member

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    So recently I have been exploring things with guys. But during the hand full of experiences I've had I loss my erection when a guy is giving me head or etc. In order to keep even a semi I have to think about this girl I happen to have a crush on. I don't think that normal at all if I were into guys. So now I have to wonder WTF is going on. I'm confused as hell. I still love my women but the idea of a guy attracts me until it presents itself. I don't know why it happens that way but it does. The more I think about it the more I just come to the conclusion that I'm not Bi but exploring. I don't have a lot of experience with either sex so I kinda feel as if I'm going thru stuff other go thru when they are in their teens. Any input?
     
  2. rob_

    rob_ Active Member

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    Sounds like you are bicurious
    You tried, and you didn't like it.

    So don't eliminate the possibility of ever being with a guy again, but it sounds like you're definitely still primarily interested in women.

    You could always get an pre-FTM. :p
     
  3. big_tits4big_dicks

    big_tits4big_dicks New Member

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    Yeah, your not into guys. I like everything about women, and thinking about having sex with one is nice, but doing it is different. Don't worry, you will sort it out.
     
  4. Chase1600

    Chase1600 Member

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    Good advice.

    Gay guys don’t have to think about girls when doing it with guys – not if they’re gay. They’ve been known to think about a different guy and that’s a different problem.

    A closeted gay guy, pretending to be straight, might be secretly thinking about guys when humping his girl. If you came here purporting to be straight but told us you had to fantasize about a dude to get it done with a woman, we’d say “dude, you’re gay.”

    I don’t want you to take this too badly, but you may have to leave the cock sucking thing to us queers and manage to get through life keeping ladies happy – which should not be impossible considering what I just saw in your pictures.
     
  5. 8060

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    Hello.

    Since you said that you haven't had that much experience with either sex, I would say that you probably need to lose your mental sexual virginity. It's more difficult for you now because you're not a teenager anymore. During those years, most of us were driven solely by a physical force within us. As we mature and age, thoughts tend to be more prevalent in our lives.

    You say that you're experiencing with guys, but not that you have a sincere attraction to them. Yes, men and masculinity is beautiful and appealing when the right guy is exuding it, but when deciding to enter into something sexually with a guy, you should WANT to do it--not just think it's cool or could be fun. A Man's Man is cool clear across the board. If you don't have a sincere desire/interest to connect with him either physically or emotionally then you shouldn't be doing that with him. With that kind of ambivalence behind your sexual action, I think that you're just cultivating your sexual confusion. Just because you haven't had that much experience with women, you figure that you'd try out men. That's not the way to go about it. That's torturing yourself looking for a sexual clarity and life can be hard enough.

    You need to soul search. Interview your sexual self and really find out what you want out of sex, what you like sexually, what attracts and what doesn't, etc., blah, blah, blah. Not to make light of what I'm trying to say but that interview process can be never ending depending on your sexual self. I'd say don't just let your sexuality fall onto you just because too much time has passed. Make it what you WANT it to be and then you'll find your clarity and the means of keeping your stiffy without so much confusion in your head.

    Good luck, nychild. Peace:cool:
     
    #5 8060, Sep 23, 2010
    Last edited: Sep 24, 2010
  6. Brick7

    Brick7 Active Member

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    It could also be that you're enjoying chasing a guy more than actually doing the act itself with a guy. Once you get the guy and get down to the act, the thrill goes away.
    Perhaps what would be the best scenario for you would be a MMF threesome. You'd have the female stimulation while enjoying the male stimulation, as well, which should keep you aroused for both partners...assuming you still want to explore your bi side.
     
  7. onewatcher

    onewatcher Active Member

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    Brilliant advice, brilliant and eloquently said!!!!


     
  8. nychild

    nychild New Member

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    Thanks for the input. The more I think about it, the more I start to think that maybe I'm just trying to get sex where I can get because I feel like i'm 10 years behind the world. And your right if i wanted to be with a guy i shouldn't have to think about a woman. I don't wanna keep trying if for the sake of trying because it hasn't worked in any of my experiences. To be blunt I can't cum from sex or oral with a guy. I always have to jerk of.
     
  9. nychild

    nychild New Member

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    I get what your saying and I agree this probably would have been easier when I was in my teen when I ran of pure hormones and didn't have to worry about over thinking anything. As for any attraction to men, I would say the idea is temping but the act is something that i guess doesn't work for me. And even if I were able to follow through without all my mental hiccups, I don't feel any emotional attachment to guys. I think its what you said, because I have limited sexual experience with women I figured why not try a guy. Because with a guy to get things going it just seems simpler. There are no head games and I don't have that fear of rejection.
     
  10. erratic

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    8060 said it all. Erection loss is usually a mental thing

    Two things I would add, though: Just because you're in to men doesn't mean you'll be in to all of them. I'm totally fucking gay, but I could lose my boner no problem if I wasn't 100% in to the guy I was with. Also, erectile dysfunction is common if you're at all drunk or high when you have sex. I don't know if that's you, but some guys only have sex with men after substance consumption.
     
  11. Countryguy63

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    I can only offer you my experience. You know what had me losing erections for the longest time? "My own self"! Internally, I would be having all sorts of "It's wrong", "It's not what I should be doing", etc thoughts, going through my head. But, then the attraction was still there and would keep coming up. When I finally starting believing that I was "Ok", I was able to let myself enjoy it.

    I very well could be wrong, but since you say that the idea of a guy attracts you, but once you're into the act, you have to think about a girl and still lose your erection, I believe that you are mentally preventing yourself from enjoying it.

    Think about it this way...everybody knows that some forms of artificial stimulation (fleshlights, vibrators, etc) feel good, and can get us off. It doesn't have the stigma of being wrong, or the possible application of a label (Gay, Bi, etc), but we're having sex with "plastic". We just don't think of it that way. If plastic feels good, then why wouldn't the same stimulation from a person feel good? It does! We just confuse ourselves with our own thinking.
     
  12. B_thickjohnny

    B_thickjohnny New Member

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    I have to agree with the mental thing. I was with a guy recently who could not keep it hard. I asked him what was up and he apologized saying he jo'd 3 times that day. Sorry, I could do it 3 times AND still get hard when a guy had me in his hands. If you're not getting hard, it probably is an attraction thing. You like the chase but not the score.
     
  13. nychild

    nychild New Member

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    You could be right. I was fat for most of my life so now that i'm where I want to be I'm just looking for sex where ever I can get it.
     
  14. davis0444

    davis0444 Member

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    I believe that the body doesn't lie. If you can't sustain an erection, there is something wrong.
     
  15. killerb

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    I was going to say something just like this.
     
  16. zaragoza

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    What he said.
     
  17. Viking_UK

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    The fantasy of some guy/guy action is totally different from the reality. You may love the idea of it and get off on that, but when a guy actually has his hand or mouth on your dick, that's a different story, and you may not have been ready to go that far.

    Another possibility is that you weren't really attracted to that one guy or he may have done something that turned you off or perhaps the situation wasn't right for you. Try again with someone else or somewhere else and see how you feel.
     
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