Confused

[cas75]

Alright, well im 18, and I am a senior in Highschool. I think I am bisexual, but i don't really know. I think about both girls and guys. I was very shy up until a few months ago so I have only done everything but sex with a girl, and have never done anything with a guy. What im trying to ask is how can i figure out if i like guys, without actually "coming out" to my peers? as im sure some of you know better than me that that can be a painful experience. I know im rambling here, jumping from one thing to another but i quit playing hockey the year before highschool(which where im from is when you usually start showering due to before school practices) so i have never been in a public shower, besides stall showers. I want to start using public showers once in a while with hopes that i might figure something out about myself, what are some places that have public showers? No guys have ever really seen me naked, and ive never seen any of them naked, I havent had a sleepover in a while, but when i was younger i used to try my hardest to let them see me naked without just getting naked and possibly embarassing myself, any ideas on what i should do if any friends ever stay over?

I know this must be hard to read, and i know i kind of rambled, but any help is appreciated!

 

[2322]

Welcome Cas!

Lot of questions!

This may sound goofy, but try posting some pics here. No face is necessary. Just post body shots and see what kind of comments you get. Don't even have to be erect.

I really wouldn't worry about being naked around other people. That girl liked you enough to fool around so at least one person thought you were hot enough.

If you're planning to head for college soon, you may find you have ample opportunity to get naked around many more men and to explore your sexuality in an environment that's more open, safe, and mature. Most colleges have GLBT groups where you can discuss your concerns and meet with other people your age going through the same thing.

Being bi is tough. Some straight and gay people have a difficult time accepting you're not wholly straight or gay. Keep repeating to yourself that those are just labels. The labels aren't you, they just describe your behavior. You are physically attracted to males and females so you are bi. You are not, bi so therefore you must like males and females. Sometimes you will find yourself very attracted to women and wonder if men were just a phase, and sometimes you will find yourself very attracted to men and wonder if women were just a phase.

The key is not to sweat it. You may find that your preferences will begin to lean more in one direction or another after some time. That's OK. You're not a computer to be programmed. You're a thinking, living being whose preferences in many things will change over your lifetime. That includes sexual preferences at well.

Many people are quick to judge and label you; even well-intentioned people. All those conflicting feelings are natural and part of growing into your adult sexual self. If Kinsey and other researchers are correct, very few people are 100% straight or 100% gay. Most people go through some degree of what you are now except they don't tell anyone or admit it to themselves.

Let us know how things are going. The most important thing is that you are physically and emotionally safe right now and if those may be problems for you at home then try really hard to have patience until you go to college if college is an option for you.

 

[SpoiledPrincess]

I don't understand why you feel a need to 'come out', to me not telling your friends everything about yourself isn't the same as hiding things. You're unsure of your sexuality yet so why is there a need to tell people what it is, if you tell people you're bisexual, have sex with a guy then decide it's not for you you'd have to go around uncoming out. You're very young and there will probably be a lot of things you're unsure of, what job you want, whether you want kids, etc etc, and until you're actually sure of what you want and what you are why do you need to tell someone?

 

[gcbenji0]

so you plan on going into public showers to look at other guys naked....
i dont think that's ok.

 

[Charles Finn]

I love bi guys hell i am one but like guys more
took me forever to realize that.
I do like women but they have to be butch.
lol
just be you and use something I did not have when I was younger the internet.
post pics here get a cheep cam.

 

[radicaldick]

i fail to see how him posting pics here is going to help him resolve his confusion. he did not say he was insecure about his looks, or penis size, just that he was confused about his sexuallity. i agree that the internet can be a tool to help him to privately experiment- go to pornotube, xtube, etc. and watch some vids- gay and str8, have some masturbation sessions and see what gets u off more. have fun with the process! then maybe u can try approaching a guy or girl to try some "actual" experimentation. you will figure it out.:biggrin1:

 

[Anubis the Elder]

So far all you've really said is that you're "A" sexual, no sex with either sex yet.

Hopefully you have a very long life ahead of you, so why rush things. It can be very sweet to meet some one like you who hasn't tried everything before they reach 20.

Why don't you join a gym or the Y where they have a pool and shower facilities? You can exercise and then at you own speed take a shower afterwards for a little sightseeing. If you get to excited al least you'll know you'll need to be a bit more careful. This will also let you ease into becoming more comfortable with letting other men see you naked . . . if you wish.

 

[yngjock20]

Actually, you don't have to come out to anyone. Look at most of the men in hollywood. I'm not sure what you want to hear, as you did ramble (I know you know that, so I'm not picking on you) but you also said that you want to check out the showers to see if you get hard? BAD IDEA.

The way to figure out if you like guys or not is by living life. There is no handbook on how to be the best gay/bi/straight man you can be. You'll figure it out by life's experiences.

I don't even wanna give you examples because I would rather you just be open to what life has to offer and not looking for something to happen. That's where alot of guys have made mistakes.

Just keep it moving. The pieces will fall together for you.