I can't say as how I am either for or against same gender mergings. I just don't really understand it and if an aging prancing (formerly dancing) queer can't figure a way to get the idea into his brain then how can the rest of the country? I state this country (U.S.A.) specifically since I believe it has something to do with the culture this country has created over the years by being a massive blend of anything and everything. Cultures and diversity also bring about confusion which later needs to be difused and laid bare for fuller understanding and acceptance. Keep in mind though there is hope (I will repeat this again later).
The simple things: Who am I? Well, I'm the gay guy who couldn't figure out homosexuality. Didn't seem to exist or make sense to me. Fact of the matter is I thought all men had sexual thoughts and contact with other men. It never occurred to me that some men didn't. That was the beginning of my disaster--or more precisely a continuance of my errors in life. (not mistakes, just errors associated with my way of thinking--not intentionally right or wrong, just errors due to lack of knowledge and understanding.)
Other simple (or not so simple things): I am a conservative. I do not necessarily mean on a political basis, I am referring to my mental process. How I think. What works with my alleged value system. (I believe we all have alleged value systems since on any given day they can change). My way of thinking stems from an upbringing which screamed liberal thinking. My mother had a child out of wedlock and kept her. My father was of unkown origin and adopted and married my mother and adopted her daughter as his own. My mother was of Jewish heritage. I had a free education, even through college--select the right major, have the right religious background, or any of a number of other variables and you too can get all expenses paid scholarships even to places like Loyola. So I should be a free thinking sort. For some reason I'm not. Sure I want people to have choice, and I do not step in to prevent it from happening, but I am never comfortable with the free choice route. Something somewhere along the way, whether it was the media or other people stepped in to prevent that. Again, conservative as a state of mind not necessarily along the political side--there is a difference.
In 1970 I got married in a church to a nice young lady. You'd be hard pressed to find a nicer, sweeter woman but it didn't matter one bit to me. I was uncomfortable from the start and after 2 children I left. Walked off one afternoon, went to the bar, got drunk, left the bar and got in my car and drove away. A year or so later I contacted her to inform her I wanted a divorce. Short version, we divorced, she re-married and he ended up legally adopting both children. To this day my relationship with them is difficult to say the least.
Marriage number 2 was January 30, 1975(in a courthouse). She was not as much of an interest as the first wife but men were suppposed to get married, weren't they? We had a son and he is a gem. Short version, the marriage ended, she petitioned in the courts and won the right to have my association with them nullified. My son was then given her maiden name as it was figured a bastard child was more desireable than the son of a homosexual. Fortunately, Jimmy was attached to me already and even a name change and my drunken antics did not keep us apart. He was a smart kid and learned my phone number and how to call collect, God bless him. (More accurately God blessed me).
What I am driving at here is that I have always been gay. A homosexual. A queer. A prancing joy-boy. Whatever terminology anyone cares to use, which is precisely one part of this whole matter. People want to get caught up in words. Would I vote for legislation for gay marriage? I do not know. Keep in mind I am gay and I cannot say that I would vote for it. However, I can tell you I would not vote for legislation to ban same sex marriages.
Again, if a gay man cannot completely get a handle on the whole gay marriage thing, how can anyone expect the heterosexual to completely fathom and accept it?
Time. Give it time. Just as others have been able to move forward over time, so too will the homosexuals. Interracial marriage, interfaith marriage, these were not always readily acceptable but today they have moved into a standard and normal existance. It took time. Look back over history. Various ethnic groups and cultures have been squashed and stomped upon for eons. Gradually they move forward. It is not an overnight matter. Keep in mind there is hope. As long as you are alive there is hope.
I will undoubtedly regret this entire post later (or at least parts of it) and it took me a while to respond here mainly because there is no cut and dry answer that I can come up with. When I think marriage, I think union and when I think union I think marriage. If two invoices are merged to become one bill they are referred to as being married. (Hey Otis marry these 2 invoices, the client only wants 1) So we can marry invoices but not two men or two women? We can call it a union and that's okay? Interesting. What's really in a word anyway? The value of a word is what we make it. If I allow a word to gnaw and nibble away at my core that is my choice, I do not have to give it that power. As for legalities, remember There is hope for equality for all, just don't toss in the towel.
