Conversation vs. Competition

[LargeInLife]

Ladies,
I've had this experience many times before during my conversations with other men, and want to know how it compares with women.

I'm a 21 year old man and have conversations with my other guy friends about sex from time to time. Out of my group of guy friends that are all really close friends, I think its pretty safe to say that I am the only one with a "Large" sized member. Thats not to say that I'm getting the most action because I'm not. But I've noticed during many conversations about sex especially, when I'm telling a story about my most recent experience or about how my girlfriend could or couldn't take all of my cock that night, or whatever, that these conversations can easily turn into more of a competition of testosterone. Even when I make absoloutely no reference to issues that come up because of my size, it still always seems like it turns into some competition in sort. Where we're not just sharing our experiences but bragging over eachother.

We're all the best of friends, like brothers really and have known eachother for years, but its very annoying when a simple conversation about our love lifes turn into some whole competition between eachother.

Maybe its because we're still somewhat younger, but I dunno. Does this type of situation come up for you ladies as much also? Or are you girls above this type of stuff?
Thanks!
D.

 

[SpoiledPrincess]

I think women can be even more competetive than men, it isn't about our bodily parts that we're competetive but pretty much everything else.

 

[LargeInLife]

I agree with you Princess, but I think that women are less likely to be so up front about it. In my experience, women are less likely to say those types of things in front of a group/few of their friends, and would have their competitive remarks be after the conversation where they will pull a friend aside and let out the remarks just to that one friend, who may go on to tell someone else. I just explained that in a very poor way, but I think I got my point across.
Do you know what I mean?

 

[SpoiledPrincess]

I think women are just more crafty about their competetive side, they often put it in a way that they are able to say 'no that's not what I meant'.

 

[LargeInLife]

I think you're right princess, and you also just explained the exact reason why men and women will never fully be able to understand eachother. What are your experiences with situations like this princess?

 

[Lex]

You can see the competitiveness among some of the women who are members of this very site, if you pay attention. There are quite a few who fight for attention and the "queen bee" crown. It's funny.

 

[SpoiledPrincess]

It's hard to think what they were, most of my friends are really nice and we've known one another a long time so any issues like this were resolved years ago. There is one friend I have who's competetive about her illnesses, if for instance I say 'I've got a headache' she has a headache that's gone on for four days

 

[Not_Punny]

I think you nailed it, SP. Women are competitive, period.

We don't really care whose tits are bigger, or who's pussy is tighter. The first is obvious. The second is immaterial unless we're having a crisis... in which case it's the CRISIS that is the "competition"

Normally, we'll compete about who's more stressed, whose kids are doing better academically, who's getting men and who isn't, etc etc

(Grammar police -- whose is a possessive pronoun, who's is short for who is or who has)

 

[SpoiledPrincess]

It's usually stated that it's in men's genes to be competitive, that this helps them get the best woman, this must be something that cuts both ways.

 

[younghotfireman24]

women are very competive
ever talk to a woman about there boyfriend they will always say hes gd in bed and very well hung evan if hes not

its kind of like at school when everyone wanted to have the best toy because having the best toy kind of makes them feel they are better

 

[younghotfireman24]

i dont think they mean too it seem more phycological

 

[D_Martin van Burden]

But I've noticed during many conversations about sex especially, when I'm telling a story about my most recent experience or about how my girlfriend could or couldn't take all of my cock that night, or whatever, that these conversations can easily turn into more of a competition of testosterone.

I think us guys sometimes have a way of baiting each other into competitive conversations. I don't know if it's on purpose, if it's for fun, or if the oneupsmanship is deliberate, but it happens.

Here's what I think. I think guys tend to talk and interact with each other in a way that identifies who the alpha dog is among the pack. It can really be a subtle thing, but I think when we share stories about sex or what we do at the gym or how well we played a sport, some guys will agree that so-and-so among the group is a badass. I think raw measurements for dick size will work the same way, too. Whether you talk or bullshit about what you're packing or prove what you got or whatever, your bros will respond to your dick size -- with envy, awe, surprise, whatever -- it's a response, too.

Now. Are you baiting them?

If you have whatever conversations you have in this vein, are you stating your size or your ability to compromise a girl taking it all in her mouth or vagina in order to be the top dawg?

You might be if you bring up your oneupsmanship stuff unannounced. Here's an example. If a bunch of us are talking about scoring at the bar tonight, and I talk about how I've been pent up for a few days and I've gonna drive my beasthorsesausagecock straight through a girl. I'm baiting. If I just left it at, I'm pent up and ready to hit somethin', that wouldn't be as baitworthy.

I know. Nobody really wants to put that much thought into what's being said. That's cool. Just think about it...

 

[Hippie Hollow Girl]

There's differences between the way males interact with each other and the way females interact with each other. That has been my observation. And I think it starts in childhood. There is a big difference in how boys play with boys and how girls play with girls. With girls there is a lot more drama and it carries over into adulthood.

There are differences with what each sex brags about......or even like to talk about.

While guys will brag about how many girls they have bagged and give intimate details about positions and how many inches they can get inside someone.

Female conversations are usually totally different. They don't usually talk about sex because maybe they have trust issues and they are afraid if they give too many details then their female friend might try to steal their boyfriend. Their conversations usually center on themselves and whatever crises is going on in their life at that moment. The female that they are talking to will either A. sympathise with the persons problem and try to help them with suggestions.....or B. Share whatever personal crises is going on in their lives at that moment........ And it can turn into a who's personal crises is worse competition.

The things that females probably brag about are......A. How much money the guy that wants to date her has......or how much money the guy has spent on her. B. How many guys are asking them out. C. And how much money her family has. D. Her interests.....

Not all women are high maintanance.... but there are a lot of them out there.

This is what I noticed when I went to an all female school. Women are not as nice to each other as men are to men. I never have been able to understand it.

 

[Ethyl]

This is what I noticed when I went to an all female school. Women are not as nice to each other as men are to men. I never have been able to understand it.

Women learn at a young age to compete with each other for the sake of a man's attention. This breeds insecurity in young women and the expectations of what they should be in order to attract men. If they act in a manner that attracts men, they will supposedly reap the benefits from their actions. I've watched women do anything to make themselves stand out to men and that includes ridiculing, ignoring, or being obnoxious to other females. As Lex mentioned, you can see that even on this site. Look around. Plenty of men love to see women compete for their attention.

Women also learn that being assertive is not feminine and will most likely earn them the "bitch" label. To avoid that label, they turn to manipulation to get what they want. Of course, then they're labeled as devious. You guessed it. You can't win. This behaviour eventually transfers to their interaction with other women and that's where we find the problems that surface in relationships between women. We don't trust each other and that's sad.

The good news is that this can change and it is for many women. Personally, I pick and choose my friends - male or female - very carefully. I enjoy the company of women who are secure about themselves, at least enough to not feel the need to compete but to enjoy our similarities or differences.

 

[Jovial]

I think you nailed it, SP. Women are competitive, period.

We don't really care whose tits are bigger, or who's pussy is tighter. The first is obvious. The second is immaterial unless we're having a crisis... in which case it's the CRISIS that is the "competition"

Normally, we'll compete about who's more stressed, whose kids are doing better academically, who's getting men and who isn't, etc etc

(Grammar police -- whose is a possessive pronoun, who's is short for who is or who has)

I don't get it. Are you arresting yourself? :tongue:

 

[GoldCoaster]

My experience has been the opposite of kadtxgrl.

With my guy friends I've found that, if they were dating a girl they really liked they would almost never talk about her sexually to the other guys. A one-night stand, some girl who was just an easy lay or a fuck-buddy was totally different. Then there'd be a lot more testosterone flying around and they'd go into more detail about what they did in bed. But if they liked the girl, they'd just close shop. I always read that as them protecting their turf and letting the other guys know that they weren't allowed to look at her in a sexual sense.

My girlfriends, on the other hand, just don't put up those barriers. We have always discussed with each other the details of our sex lives, no-matter how 'special' the current boyfriend was. I don't mean talking in a trashy/crude/bogan kind of way where everything you do is intended to draw attention to yourself. Those are the girls/people who do try to 'one-up' each other because there just isn't much else going on in their lives (or in their heads). Rather, I mean talking in the way friends share stories because they're funny, sad or just plain bizarre lol. The only girls who I've seen shy away from that kind of thing are the ones who were either repressed or had some deep-seated insecurity where they were distrustful of other women.

 

[Principessa]

Ladies,

We're all the best of friends, like brothers really and have known eachother for years, but its very annoying when a simple conversation about our love lifes turn into some whole competition between eachother.

Maybe its because we're still somewhat younger, but I dunno. Does this type of situation come up for you ladies as much also? Or are you girls above this type of stuff?
Thanks!
D.

I don't have a competitive bone in my body. I never have; but I do have one girlfriend who loves to one up me or put me down when it comes to men and cars. :wtf1: Apparently every man she has been with in the last 20 years has been 8"+. They have all been superb lovers and she always has multiple orgasms. The funny thing is she has forgotten that we have a mutual friend to whom she no longer speaks who broke in at least 3 of the men she counts as huge conquests. So I know they weren't all big or all great lovers. :biggrin1:

 

[D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah]

When im with friends it often becomes the situation of "But you'll never believe...." it isnt us trying to out do each other but sharing experiences and as one girl says something it reminds another of something else that happened

 

[bigdude]

Funniest thing I've noticed is the lack of security felt by many beautiful girls


It happened just a few weeks ago- I was talking to a friend at school. She happens to be friends with this REAL, STUNNINGLY hot girl I see at the gym constantly. I've seen her regularly, yet I've never made a move, infact I've never even said hello. I get too nervous and shy around her, which sucks, and as confident as I am with my body, my cock, my convo skills, I still find it real hard to approach certain girls because their beauty just distracts me.

Apparently this girl's beauty distracts a LOT of guys though- because here she was, this gorgeous girl, complaining to her friend about how "guys don't talk to me", etc. Suddenly I came to this realization and I thought to myself, "why be uptight about this?" If I just TALK to her, she could be far from what I expected, because naturally (and unfairly) I assume that a girl with such physical beauty gets hit on all the time. And I figured that if I even try to talk to her, I might come off the same as every other guy- which is something I never want to do.

 

[pavement]

Funniest thing I've noticed is the lack of security felt by many beautiful girls


It happened just a few weeks ago- I was talking to a friend at school. She happens to be friends with this REAL, STUNNINGLY hot girl I see at the gym constantly. I've seen her regularly, yet I've never made a move, infact I've never even said hello. I get too nervous and shy around her, which sucks, and as confident as I am with my body, my cock, my convo skills, I still find it real hard to approach certain girls because their beauty just distracts me.

Apparently this girl's beauty distracts a LOT of guys though- because here she was, this gorgeous girl, complaining to her friend about how "guys don't talk to me", etc. Suddenly I came to this realization and I thought to myself, "why be uptight about this?" If I just TALK to her, she could be far from what I expected, because naturally (and unfairly) I assume that a girl with such physical beauty gets hit on all the time. And I figured that if I even try to talk to her, I might come off the same as every other guy- which is something I never want to do.

or is it because you thought she might be nasty ?