Conversation with women

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by rufrydaz, Feb 7, 2007.

  1. rufrydaz

    rufrydaz New Member

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    this might sound a bit weird.... so I will try to put in a way that makes the most sense... i am kind of a shy guy when it comes to guys or girls... I am 100 percent straight.. I am just one of those people who do not have to be the center of attention... Im a quiet guy.. but not a weird kind of quiet guy if that makes sense lol.... My question is when going on dates with women what do you guys talk about with them for the whole date.... and the dates following that one... i find that i have no problem talking with girls but if im holding the conversation the whole time i tend to run out of things to talk about throughout the date.... so what do you guys do when in this situation and women feel free to chime in on what you like a guy talking to you about on the first couple of dates..... thanks alot in advance...
     
  2. virusss

    virusss New Member

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    I don't really date, but I've hung out with girlfriends and we talk about anything. Really, there just needs to be common ground. If you both like hiking, for example, talk to her about places to go, your favorite spots, what you look for in a good walk. If you don't know her well, find out if she has any passions, see if she likes certain foods and maybe allergies... Just small talk to get to know each other... Really, I'm shy too, but most girls talk a lot, so let them do the talking, just pay attention and smile, laugh when necessary... You know, make them feel good. You may not be interested in everything they're talking about, that's how you know she's not the right girl for you, but be respectful. If you are interested, it will come to you naturally, you'll hold a conversation with her, and it will be fun, and you'll both feel that connection, and that's when you have a chance at the right girl... I suggest continuing dating that girl, then, and get to know her family eventually. Date for a few months and if things seem really good then perhaps you can figure out where to go from there.

    Conversation is all about connection. If you're looking for things to talk about all of the time, then you don't have a connection and so the only reason you would want something to talk about is to get in her pants and that's just wrong... can't help ya' there.

    I'm sure you'll get some good and some very bad advice on this website... lol

    Good luck buddy, feel free to comment or ask more questions.
     
  3. D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah

    D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah Account Disabled

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    I caant say i go on many dates and havent been on one in a very lonng ttime but ive come to look forward to the silence, it is during the 'uncomfortable silence' that you learn what a person is really like.

    Do they get nervous and flustered thinking of something to say or can they enjoy just being with you for a few quiet minutes
     
  4. Ethyl

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    Barbed wire. WD-40. Any man who can use those two things in a conversation with me is a keeper.

    J/K. Actually, I think what Lee has to say is quite profound. It's rare to find two people who can embrace silence and not just tolerate it.

     
  5. OmahaBeef

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    Be secure with yourself and be a great listener...the rest falls into place after that...

    ...OB
     
  6. Dorset

    Dorset New Member

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    If you don't find it that easy to find something to say then find yourself a woman who likes to talk. She'll just chat away and not even notice you haven't said anything :smile:. It's worked for me and my girlfriend for 7 years now.
     
  7. BigA

    BigA New Member

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    you better figure this out quick or u'll end up like me:)
     
  8. Gisella

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    Than you are not shy among girls only but with men too?

    I dont think that to express is translated to want to be the center of attention. You just need to learn to express by putting into words what you have inside. You dont need to act as someone not like yourself, is better you be yourself for sure just make adjustments to fuction in social gatterings.

    First is better to be confy expressing you, what you like what you enjoy etc etc to become interesting person, if you dont do anything interesting try to involve in something you fancy. Than as you get confident in you try to make questions to the other as what are the things they do interesting. Than keep making questions and really listen...than by that you are learning about them and not talking much...:biggrin1:

    But at least to me it does not work anymore someone who does not to talk want me do all the talking, its boring. We must exchange informatings not single act intertaining. I enjoy people that have lots to say but are not talkative as I'm, but is just their style to not rush and be urgent in expressing. I like them because I myself learn to listen go slow and not talking much. It become very efficient exchanges to learn to become balanced. :smile:
     
  9. karmen

    karmen New Member

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    If the other person is willing, you can talk about almost anything. For example, the situation going on with the female astronaut is big news right now. Hell, I can think of at least a half dozen conversations surrounding what's possibly going on with her.

    Anything that is a hot story or is news of the days is good fodder for casual conversation.

    If you have mutual interests or hobbies, you have struck gold. Talking about your or her children is okay but it quickly gets boring if either of you is actually childless.

    Your favorite movie(s) or book(s) and why they're your favorite is interesting conversation. It becomes interesting when you delve into why it's so appealing to you or her.

    If you've traveled, you can then talk about that with the other person or you can compare the parts of the country/world that you've visited.

    Almost any and everything you can think of might be possible conversation fodder.

    I truly don't want to talk about sex with someone I hardly know so I wouldn't take it there but I guess it's a good possibility if you are aiming for a one-night stand.

    It sucks to have to carry the whole conversation. I find that when I ask, "so what do you think about that" or "how would you handle that situation" or "have you ever experienced anything like that". It gives the other person a chance to jump in with their opinion on a particular matter and gives you a chance to learn about them and to take a breather.

    Those were just a few ideas. I hope you find them helpful and good luck to you.

    Hugs and Kisses,

    Karmen
     
  10. B_horribleperson

    B_horribleperson New Member

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    if ur doing more then 30% of the conversation then she is not into you.

    ask she questions that makes heranswer something other then yes or no
     
  11. MR.BLACK

    MR.BLACK Active Member

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  12. Principessa

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    Viruss is correct.

    While I usually agree with you Lee M., in my personal experience being comfortable with gaps in conversation or out right silence never occurs in the first few dates, sometimes not even the first few months.





     
  13. B_big dirigible

    B_big dirigible New Member

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    Hmm. A "keeper," maybe as in "keep away." I've found words like "buckshot" and "axle" to be real deal-breakers, even worse than talk about sports.
     
  14. Dorset

    Dorset New Member

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    Sorry but have to disagree there, it's happened for me after just a couple of hours of a first date. I think if you're comfortable with yourself then you should be OK, but insecure people tend to talk all the time even if it's just a load of crap
     
  15. sgl_life

    sgl_life New Member

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    How long are the dates? If it's boring, I would not keep it past an hr. That way you don't have to cover that many topics
     
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