Convincing a friend...

[rangisrovus19]

Have you ever messed around with a close friend before and never thought you would have the chance? If so, what (or chain of events) caused it? This would be a wonderful opportunity for gays to voice their stories about "interactions" between straight friends.

 

[2322]

I came very close to it once and have been exceptionally happy I didn't. It would have been too weird and fucked-up the relationship in time. I want to keep my friends as friends, once they turn into lovers then there's a whole host of issues usually resulting in guilt and a loss of intimacy.

This may sound patronizing but I don't mean it to be. I'm hoping to share something I didn't think was true when I was young because hey, we're the new generation, we do things differently. We're immune to those kinds of hang-ups. Basically...

Sex fucks-up friendships sooner or later. That one-night fun drunken rumble becomes an 800 lb gorilla every following time you guys go and get drunk and find yourselves alone. With gay friends it can be even worse.

 

[Male Bonding etc]

Yeah, I have to agree with Jason. I have this idealized fantasy about good friends who share casual sex once in a while, but my experience with men and women is that sex changes everything. A lot of it is how I look at it, of course. If I could treat it as casually as some of the people here seem to be able to, there'd be this long list of fuck buddies, one-night stands and broken hearts...

The problem for me with women is that they tend to fall in love with me. Once I fell in love with one, and it was amazing. The sex went to a whole different level, we got married, and I was one supremely happy man.

The problem for me with men is that, while I love getting blow jobs from guys, I am not into giving them myself or doing the other sexual activities guys tend to do together. Additionally, I am always wanting it to be more than just sex with guys, but it doesn't seem to work for me.

I have several guy friends who have wanted to take it to the sexual level for years, but I have always felt we'd not remain friends if that happened. Conversely, I've had some other friends who I've wanted to get more intimate with, but I suspect our friendship has continued, such as it has, because we never did play that sexual card.

I did have three somewhat long term relationships with guys, but none was ever really a good fit. I've also been serviced by a few guys, and while I'd rather masturbate than treat someone as merely a convenient source of release, I'll probably do it again.

All of that is to say that one should take the sexual step with friends very cautiously if it seems nothing more than curiousity or lust.

 

[stetree]

sorry but I disagree with jason and male as I have had experiences with friends str8 and gay when we have been drunk and horny. In the majority of cases it didnt affect the friendship at all and in a couple of cases actually made the friendship stronger. An example is a friend who was having relationship problems with his fiancee due to the fact that he was confused about his sexuality and didnt want to try it with some stranger. To cut a long story short we got drunk and ended up fooling around, afterwards he thanked me and told me that it had helped him a lot and now there relationship (and ours) is stronger than ever.

 

[B_Think_Kink]

I messed around with my best guy friend of 5 years... and he's gay. We were stoned, and a tad drunk... watching 4 hours of gay porn. The situation only got worse when we somehow both initated sex. I felt a bit used, but happy to some extent that I finally got what I had wanted since I met him, and he hadn't come out of the closet about, and was maybe not even realising it himself. He kept tell me I was too cling after.. when in reality I wasn't even talking to him at that point.

Needless to say, we have had sex again, and things aren't so bad anymore. But if you're going to ask me if it was worth it... on a sexual level sure, but on a friendship level... probably not such a good idea. I'm the kind of girl that is always thinking of sex, always wanting it, lucky for me he is level headed, and calm about it all, and doesn't always give into me.

The only other problem is he will only identify himself as gay, so there is the stigma of that too. He's only been with one guy, but continues to let me scratch an itch.

 

[playainda336]

He may not be so gay. lol

 

[polo71]

I have posted several times on this same subject and I have 3 very hot fucking friends! One of my friends I have called drunk and Have told him all I would love to do to him....... but wouldnt becuase he is my friend. Later he said to me if we werent friends I wouldnt take it as a compliment! My other 2 hot friends I just see them as friends. Actually all them are just my friends, I wouldn't like it any other way! They are very nice guys and I know they are strictly p-u-s-s-y!

 

[B_Think_Kink]

He may not be so gay. lol

As far as he is concerned he is gay, is attracted to guy, and all the rest that comes with being a gay male.

 

[deleted3782]

I have a straight friend who I've known since 9th grade and have long had feelings for. I have written about him in other posts here. Growing up, I fantasized A LOT about something happening between us, but I was too chicken to make a move (and I suppose he was too). I remember times when we would meet up in DC for a weekend, and I refused a certain hotel room because we would have had to share a bed...just because I was afraid of what might happen. Eventually he got married, and now has three kids (his oldest son is named after me ) ). I still see him, and I still have those really intense and deep connections that I have only with him. In the end, I think that means more to me than giving him a blowjob (or maybe I am still just chicken...!).

 

[SpeX]

I guess I'm lucky.Me and a buddy of mine used to mess around,and it never changed anything.

 

[PonyBoi]

When I was youger (like mid teens) I had the worst crush on my straight friend. It really wasn't so much lust... I mean he had the build I like but not the height or facial structure (I'm not shallow I just know what I like) I think it was more the way he treated me and our closeness that got me into him.

Either way we used to do sleepovers on the weekend... (Why I was still having sleepovers at 15 and not parties I don't know) He'd always start out on the floor but end up in my twin bed (something about liking the heat I gave off when I sleeping.) Somehow it always led to us falling asleep not really touching but not far apart either... sharing a blanket... and we'd always wake back up around 4am (without fail I swear it was like clock work) and he'd always just give me this look of longing... which is about when I'd notice the tent in the sheets lol... He wasn't anything special... Just an average dick... tasted average, average size... it was just... something fun to do... and we never treated it as more than that... it almost became a saturday night ritual. We weren't drunk or stoned... and he never really fooled around with anyone else...

I don't blow him anymore on saturday nights lol. In fact I think he has a fiancee... It never really changed anything between us... no animosity or weirdness... then again I'm fairly discreet unless it's ok to flaunt lol.
We've drifated apart over the years but that's mainly because I moved to central canada and he's out east in the military... so we don't stay in contact that much. It was fun and I care about him and we'll probably talk about it later on... maybe even with his wife (lol) I'm kinda glad we played though... it meant that there wasn't a massive amount of sexual tension between us... And because it wasn't dramatic or weird... I'd say in a small way it brought us closer... but wasn't a founding point or anything to serious...

I treat sex that way in general I suppose. It's an important part of any interaction if it occurs but it doesn't have to be a big deal. *Shrugs*
Just my take on it.
It can help... I've seen it screw things up. It's all in how you handle it and the personalities of the people involved. To each their own.

Truly,
Lexx

 

[patrick9999]

Will there EVER be a thread where a guy can have sex with a willing friend and no one has a problem with it?

I've got some straight friends who are pretty damn hot. Would I have sex with some of them? In a heartbeat.

I'm not some teenager who gets it on with a guy and the next day thinks he's all of a sudden my soul mate or life long partner.

It's just sex. Sex between two adults who happened to have enjoyed giving each other pleasure. The fact that SOME guys can't wrap their minds around that shouldn't stop those of us who can.

 

[B_josiah852]

A 12 pack of beer and good porn always makes close male friends want to bond (so to speak).

 

[B_Think_Kink]

Or in my case a friend whos high...and allergic to pot... some fireball whiskey, and a four hour porno.. I could make him do anything with me, *tosses the gay label out the window*

 

[invisibleman]

I had a straight male friend who was about to get married. A few weeks before the wedding, he shocked me by asking me to sleep with him. I declined. (He was very good looking. Then, I was a "hottie". Well, I still am hot just an older version. Hehehe. :wink: ) I didn't want to make him second guess his marital promise to the wife to be. (This guy even invited me to his wedding. I didn't go.)

 

[HotManBoobs]

I hav enever convinced a friend i remmeebr one time i was watching porn with this friend of mine and i could tell he had a boner i made a comment and his comment back was why dont u suck it so i did.. otherwise i did fondle a high school buddy that was my first time and he was either awake and knew or something because he rolled over perfectly for me to get at it so yeah.. i guess im a friend fondler in a way and otherwise it just happens.

 

[Fire Stick]

When I was a kid, my first sexual experiences were with friends, and sometimes, there would be awkwardness afterwards. But my adult experience has been similar to Stetree’s. (Reference his earlier post.) Truthfully, I have had sex with most of my close friends and many of my social acquaintances, if I find them attractive. I cannot think of even one friendship that has ever suffered as a result, and more often than not, the physical intimacy strengthens the relationship. Typically, the circumstances involve a combination of alcohol and either privacy or a relatively small and cozy group setting. As long as there is mutual attraction and some degree of genuinely liking one another, it just almost always happens somehow. I am not prepared to say that this is the norm among gay men, necessarily, but it certainly is not uncommon. What can I say? – Guys are horny and, speaking for myself, tequila just seems to make my clothes come off.

 

[PonyBoi]

I find that in most circumstances it strengthens relationships too because you've shared something special and it creates a 'bond' in a way...
I've had the flip side once or twice where someone I've slept with got more... distant but I found out they weren't really a friend in the first place and that generally they were either using me or curious about something and then regretted it... not so much the act but the using or realization that they don't really care in anyway and it was empty... Which also ends up hurting me a lot (I'm a lot more choosy about my partners these days) but messing around strictly with friends has never hurt me or my relationships with them.

Truly,
Lexx

 

[aborcrmbe2]

My guy was sooo hot it was all I could do to keep from grabbing his ass...but alas he was sooo st8. We were both 18 then.

We hung out for 2 dang years an he never knew what I felt for him,,,he could have had anything he wanted from me but he had no interest at all omg he was so hot.

We are still tight right now...what should I do? I feel like I am going to really do something bold that may or may not be good..I have no way of knowint

Help

 

[PonyBoi]

Be his friend... Hang out... don't be afraid to do... straight gay things lol...
like watching a porno together or something... *shrugs*
I always found that the easiest way to not make a stupid move is not to be stupid about it.
Like if you guys are talking online and he mentions be horned up like a dog mention you were about to watch a porn and that he should come over (make sure it's a decent porn... maybe with one or two lesbian scenes and a gay scene snuck in there heh) You'd be surprised what can happen in the right situation... but don't push. If it's not right or it feels really... like he wouldn't react well to it... forget it. Be his friend first. That's the most important thing.

Truly,
Lexx