Convincing a reluctant girl

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by udubcrew, Dec 23, 2006.

  1. udubcrew

    udubcrew Well-Known Member

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    I'm in a situation right now where a girl I've been seeing isn't very sexually experienced. She is used to a guy smaller than me. In fact, the difference is apparently great enough that she is actually afraid of having sex with me because she thinks it will hurt her too badly. So what I'm wondering is if there is a way to ease her fears. I'd especially like to hear from the ladies on this as to what you think would help. I don't think it will hurt her that much if I warm her up properly and use lots of lube so it's not how we would do it but how can I get her to. We have hashed over it a fair amount and this really is her main issue. Any help would be greatly appreciated.
     
  2. missy7776

    missy7776 New Member

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    try using a egg vibrator. the penthouse golden egg is great. that should help her warm up. and let her know that if it causes too much discomfort than you will stop. that might be a worry of hers. try using different sized dildo's that might help. have a good christmas!:smile:
     
  3. freeballing

    freeballing Active Member

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    I just saw the pics in your gallery... Holy shit dude, I'd be afraid too.

    Not that I'm an expert on the subject, (mainly cos I've never had anal sex) but I bet you'd have dudes begging to bottom for you. Sorry, I know that wasn't much help...
     
  4. udubcrew

    udubcrew Well-Known Member

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    not only unhelpful but mildly disturbing.
     
  5. udubcrew

    udubcrew Well-Known Member

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    But thank you missy for the advice, I don't know how into that idea she would be but the point about stopping is very key....even if i wouldn't want to stop.
     
  6. karmen

    karmen New Member

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    udubcrew:

    The first time I was with a man who had a really large penis, I also was afraid/apprehensive. We'd already kissed, cuddled and generally worked each other into a hot sweaty mess.

    He then took of his pants. Wow! I remember that I said, "Will that fit?" or words to that effect. He assured me that yes, it would fit and that he would stop if I felt pain or did not want to continue.

    Now this turned out to be a one time situation. He was someone whom I'd dated and had known for several months. We just never got back together sexually.

    So I would put this in the casual sex or "Friends with Benefits" category because we were just casual friends who were attracted to each other.

    After knowing him for several months, I did trust him enough to believe that he would stop and that I wouldn't come to any harm.

    I don't know what type of relationship you two have but I would humbly suggest that if you are interested in her has a potential girlfriend and not just a friends with benefits situation, I would treat her as such.

    You know the drill. Go on dates, spend time together, romance her and show her that you are a caring, loving man. Show her that you are into her and not just after her panties. If you are caring and loving outside of the bedroom, you are sure to be caring, loving and considerate inside the bedroom as well.

    I would even suggest going to a sex shop together so that she can look at the lubes and other things that might be available.

    I don't know how intimate you've been up to this point but I would even consider mutual masturbation, mutual oral stimulation (aka 69) and/or oral with various vibrators.

    Penetrating her with your cock shouldn't be the only goal. If she is truly inexperienced, you have a chance to show her many sexual delights.

    If you have the time and want to make the effort, I think she will eventually come around and you two will be doing the horizontal bop in no time at all. Good luck to you.


    Hugs and Kisses,

    Karmen
     
  7. hung

    Gold Member

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    Time will be on your side. I would recommend intense foreplay. Lube, the KY warming and start with your tongue/finger in the vigina. Then you can work up to two fingers and even three fingers. Taking it slow and working up to an orgasm without penis entry. You may have to do this several times over a period of days, but then you may be ready to place the penis into action. The rewards of patience will be awesome.

    Best of Luck as you engage in a fun filled life of fullfillment. Always approach the whole process of wanting to give her the best orgasm/sex ever. Then she will appreciate the patience and your concern and that will go a long way to bliss for the both of you.
     
  8. RoyalT

    RoyalT New Member

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    Hmm...I'm the same girth as you (I think - 6"?) and I would guess that's her main concern. The best thing is to just tell her that as soon as she says stop you will.

    And just go slow and keep very stil for a long time til she's broken in. Or stretched out w/e.

    Lots of foreplay etc but you probably already know that if you've had sex with more than one girl, which is what it sounds like.

    Good luck and have yourself a merry little Christmas!
     
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