Coping with a too-big cock

[BabyKoala]

Hey,

I'm new here and basically I wanted some advice on what to do as my boyfriend is reasonably endowed (about 9 inches, plus girth of I don't know what) and I can't take it!! We've been together for almost a year so obviously have had some time to get used to it but the length is a real issue, especially as he really gets off on full thrusting etc and I just end up whimpering and crying!! So any suggestions on what I can do to be able to take him would be really really useful please!!!

Thanks!

 

[B_Just Joe]

a suggestion youll hear from alot of the women here would be to invest in some sex toys (dildos and vibrators) use those to pratice on and get yourself used to it gradually.

 

[B_becominghorse]

Dr. Ruth used to talk about this, but the demand for 'full thrusting' has to be something you refuse. Otherwise, it hardly sounds loving if you end up crying in pain. That's the real problem. Westheimer's techniques included fucking from behind in positions so that the too-large penis won't be able to go too far in. But that's by the by until you get him interested in not hurting you. I mean, what are you in it for? Why does he think you're crying? You can't even tell him?

 

[lafever]

Be carefull with yourself, some men find it a real turn on when they hurt women, first make sure this is not his agenda to do so and go from there.
chris

 

[BabyKoala]

Oh, sorry, I obviously didn't make myself very clear!! My bf is lovely and not intending to hurt me and as soon as he knows he is hurting me he stops no matter what state he's in, but my point is more that I know what he really likes and want to be able to give it to him!!

What are Westheimer's techniques? I thought from behind was doggie, and that's just not possible at the moment!!!!

 

[B_becominghorse]

What are Westheimer's techniques? I thought from behind was doggie, and that's just not possible at the moment!!!!

You'll have to be more specific if you've gone this far with telling us about it. Why not doggie? You can have more control that way, and keep him from plunging too much. Otherwise, actually trying to accommodate by stretching with dildo practice as some of the others said are worth trying. You have to decide if it's that serious a problem or not, it's hard to tell from what you've said whether it is or not.

 

[Biggie77]

I don't recommend doggy at all. I would recommend you on top so that you are in control of the movement. Full thrusting is fun, but I've only had one woman I could do that with. So, he'll just have to deal with it.

Also, try some positions that require more length to accomplish. The only time I would recommend doggy, is if you have a big butt. Then, it might work, but the angle might still hurt. Try spooning. Just relax your legs on top of one another and that should prevent over penetration and still allow him the sensation of going deep.

Don't let him go deep if it hurts you (unless you like the pain effect). The pain can magnify greatly if he hits you wrong.

 

[indeed]

Purchase some really good water based lube and make sure that he works towards the full thrust rather than doing it before your ready. The cervix bash needs to be prepared for lol.
What i tend to do before this is put a few extra inches distance between me and my partner, that way i can thrust as much as i would and it doesnt go as far in, kinda hot too . The other option is to get into doggie, and have him arch over you, ie stomach and chest resting on your back, that way his thrusts will have less impact. 9 inches isnt that big, sounds like you may be quite tight, if so then yeah, buy a rediculously huge dildo and practise a bit Most of all, dont be scared of it happening, it will hurt more if its impending lol.

 

[BabyKoala]

Does dildo practice actually work? As I was looking elsewhere on the threads and they said you don't get stretched by big things; that it more kind of 'bounces back' or did I misunderstand that?

Maybe I'm doing doggie wrong (oh the shame) but he's very much in charge, not me... And the issue is basically in every single position we've tried, that he is too long and hurts somewhere inside me, and even if we try to only put so much in, when he gets close he swells up more and gets even bigger and hurts anyway...

Is that enough info? I'm not the most experienced person in the world (in case you can't tell!!) so don't know exactly what you want/need to know

 

[Biggie77]

May I suggest more foreplay. Try upwards of 30 minutes of foreplay starting with kissing and nipple play and then some fingering. I find that with a lot of women, nipple play really helps get them wet. Get yourself totally turned on, maybe even close to cumming before penetration.

 

[B_becominghorse]

Does dildo practice actually work? As I was looking elsewhere on the threads and they said you don't get stretched by big things; that it more kind of 'bounces back' or did I misunderstand that?

Maybe I'm doing doggie wrong (oh the shame) but he's very much in charge, not me... And the issue is basically in every single position we've tried, that he is too long and hurts somewhere inside me, and even if we try to only put so much in, when he gets close he swells up more and gets even bigger and hurts anyway...

Is that enough info? I'm not the most experienced person in the world (in case you can't tell!!) so don't know exactly what you want/need to know

Do the dildo right beforehand, and get one that's a little bigger than his dick. I do this when I get fucked in the ass, and it makes it perfect. Otherwise, advice on being on top is good. I used to like to fuck my ex-gf like this. Probably the most control for you.

 

[new_n_curious]

I totally agree with Biggie77's advice, the vagina has hidden depths that only extra foreplay can reveal.

 

[OmahaBeef]

I totally agree with Biggie77's advice, the vagina has hidden depths that only extra foreplay can reveal.

Yep. There it is

...OB

 

[alf_johnson]

Oh, sorry, I obviously didn't make myself very clear!! My bf is lovely and not intending to hurt me and as soon as he knows he is hurting me he stops no matter what state he's in, but my point is more that I know what he really likes and want to be able to give it to him!!

What are Westheimer's techniques? I thought from behind was doggie, and that's just not possible at the moment!!!!

I think you need to clean out before too

CroppedLeather | Fisting pages | Douching a guide to how you can do it

I'd suggest that you get yourself a dildo the size of his dick lots of lube and start practicing, your bf could help you out with that too :redface:

Remember to always use loads and loads of (preferably) silicone lube (last longer than water based)

 

[midlifebear]

Is it me? Or does anyone else notice that mostly posters identifying themselves as "Male" are giving most of the advice here. Why is that? Is it once again the mysterious "meow" effect?

Sorry lady, I've got a boyfriend so I can't give you any helpful advice.

 

[Lex]

Is it me? Or does anyone else notice that mostly posters identifying themselves as "Male" are giving most of the advice here. Why is that? Is it once again the mysterious "meow" effect?

Sorry lady, I've got a boyfriend so I can't give you any helpful advice.

HAHA. Great catch!

All I can say is practice, patient and lube make perfect!

(at least when I am fucking a guy...)

 

[Guy-jin]

Is it me? Or does anyone else notice that mostly posters identifying themselves as "Male" are giving most of the advice here. Why is that? Is it once again the mysterious "meow" effect?

The people who've had the most straight sex with a large penis are the straight guys the large penises are attached to. :wink:

And I agree with Biggie77 also! Foreplay helps a ton, especially since you've been with the guy long enough that you should be probably as loose as you're going to be.

 

[D_fuzwuz]

ORR

you could get with a guy that's just a lot bigger than him, so when you go back to him it wont be so badd..


jokingly of course, that'd be cheating!! Just get a big black dildo

 

[jhm]

I have noticed that my partner tends to accomodate me more easily post orgasm... she just seems to get ultra relaxed... you might also try these positions, which wont help you take all of him, but do limit the depth of penetration... my wife sometimes experiences discomfort with prolonged deep thrusting and we use these frequently (particularly the first, which almost always results in an intense, uncontrollable orgasm for her):

- i'm on my back, she is on top with her back against my chest. balance can be tricky but once you do it a few times you'll get it...

- she lies flat on her tummy, legs together, I straddle her legs/ass and enter from behind. her rear end makes a lovely, pillowy cushion and keeps me from going too deep

 

[alex8.5]

Be on top, you'll have more control of how deep he goes