Coping with Penis Envy

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by D_jdtyfgf, Apr 22, 2009.

  1. D_jdtyfgf

    D_jdtyfgf New Member

    Joined:
    May 5, 2008
    Messages:
    13
    Likes Received:
    0
    I don't post as often as I could, so I'll try to make this thread seem reasonable and productive, heh.

    Recently, I was joined by a certain girl in a group discussion with friends. I have met her from my lectures a few times, but did not know her very well. Anyways, the conversation was regarding relationships and the people that others were with at that time.

    Now, being single for as long as I could remember, I was already feeling a little uneasy. The fact I suffered from mild anxiety just made it feel more and more like they were metaphorically taking turns punching me in the stomach. The conversation went from kidney shots and stomach hits to full on hit below the belt when the previously-mentioned girl added in.

    She added that since she had hooked up with this boyfriend of hers, she has had difficulties being in a relationship or even thinking of being with other guys. While I thought this was a matter of affection, she said it was more-so a physical characteristic of his that made it difficult for her. Eventually, we learned she was in a relationship with fellow who, according to her, measured a little over 11 inches from base to tip.

    Some guys were put off by the fact that she mentioned his penis at all, but the numbers were salt in the wound for me. On top of being in a relationship with a nice girl like her, this guy was almost a ruler's worth of manmeat. Attempting to be polite and make it less obvious, I waited until the conversation came to a close to take my leave with my pride a bit dwarfed by what I had just heard.

    Ultimately, I am looking for ways I can see past penis size as a factor of attractiveness. I know girls will often tell me that it's how you use it more than size, but being a virgin has made this hard to swallow. What has helped some of you to get over the menace that is penis envy?
     
  2. psidom

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 7, 2006
    Messages:
    1,861
    Albums:
    3
    Likes Received:
    2
    my undying love for pussy got me over penis envy.
    the smell...the taste...the sight....the sounds...the warmth.

    i see many women with men that i know are not well endowed,
    and usually break up with them because we go on and on
    about how they want bigger when really majority just wanna fuck
    and be loved by a member of the opposite sex.

    us making a big deal about cocksize i have learned is
    kind of like making a big deal about automatic locks on a car.
    yeah it is cool and a luxury....but really who cares. ;)
     
  3. avg_joe

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 15, 2006
    Messages:
    3,284
    Likes Received:
    5
    Gender:
    Male
    Use a big dildo, if she is not satisfied with what you have.
     
  4. PatriotSam

    PatriotSam New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 24, 2008
    Messages:
    75
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    I can't really speak from experience since I’m essentially a virgin myself ... but if any girl thinks that you dick is the only way she can be satisfied ... she's lead a really sheltered sex life and I feel sorry for her.

    Not only that but there's a lot of reason why sex and RELATIONSHIPS go together. Sure you can have sex with anyone at any time ... and some of it might be great sex ... but I would imagine that anyone in a loving relationship would tell you that sex with their loving, dedicated and committed partner is the best sex around.

    Not only for emotional reasons but also because you have the opportunity to really learn each other’s bodies and know what sets each other off. You're never going to develop that with someone you met hours or minutes earlier and only have sex with once.

    While I can imagine that a sexual fling would be entertaining, I can honestly say that nothing is more appealing to me than a trusting and loving partner. To wake up next to your girlfriend or wife, cuddle a little before getting out of bed (or maybe going for round two) and then knowing that they're going to be there for you and have your back every is an awesome concept.

    So in summary, if she wants an 11" dick ... tell her to go buy a dildo ... if she wants YOU, than that's something entirely different.

    Forget about cock size, it's completely irrelevant in the real world. Furthermore, any insecurity that you have is a problem with your mind, not your dick!
     
  5. Mr Ed in Mass

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 5, 2006
    Messages:
    2,695
    Likes Received:
    576
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Massachusetts,The most corrupt of the 57 states.
    I'm envious of my own penis.
     
  6. D_Duane Pipe

    D_Duane Pipe New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 23, 2007
    Messages:
    203
    Likes Received:
    0
    By being appreciative of what you have. Envy is about not appreciating what you have, so do the opposite. It's too easy to feel sorry for yourself. We all have something we can be proud of or happy about. It's genetics and there's not much you can do about it. Read some of the posts on this site. There are plenty of women who are happy with a guy that isn't "huge" or "big". That's been a great revelation for me. I remember one thread and I don't recall the title of it, but some of the women revealed the size of their dildo and some of them were as thick and long as I am and believe me, I'm not "big". That bred a lot of confidence in me. So, don't focus on the one who wants an 11 incher. Focus on the millions of others who would be happy with yours.
     
  7. sexplease

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 23, 2006
    Messages:
    1,724
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    87
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Santa Monica CA
    in time, confidence in your skills, talents and ultimately your heart will guide you through YOUR life.
    We all progress (hopefully) through the stages of: Athlete, Warrior and Statesman.
    Athlete is about your body and looking with your eyes at yourself.
    Warrior, about comparing to those around you.
    Statesman, about your worth of heart and mind and how and what you offer to the world.
    One day, you'll see, it's not the shape of your shell, but the grace in your exchanges with others that matters most.
     
  8. D_Landrocke DeLonguepiece III

    Joined:
    Sep 14, 2007
    Messages:
    623
    Likes Received:
    2
    I've never gotten over it. I still wish I had a large Penis.
     
  9. Rogercock

    Rogercock Member

    Joined:
    Feb 28, 2007
    Messages:
    51
    Likes Received:
    2
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    East Yorkshire (GB)
    What is your size?

    Many women will comment that xtra-large meat swords are both painful and unattractive to them - many will state that a bell of or around 7 inches is optimum for them.

    Playing around with a variety of positions can also make your pork-sword appear larger than it is. Oh, try using some Jelly Viagra too as this will ensure that your pecker is as pecker as it can be.
     
  10. Steve26

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 14, 2001
    Messages:
    844
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    352
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    New Hampshire + Massachusetts
    It's worth noting that many women are extremely bad at estimating penis size -- especially at the extremes -- just as many men are very bad at estimating bra size. My own wife, after several years of marriage and quite a bit of sex, thought mine was 11", and in reality I am a "mere" 8".

    So it's entirely possible that the "11-incher" in question was an 8-incher. Or a 7-incher. Or less.

    Steve
     
  11. 8060

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 1, 2008
    Messages:
    1,363
    Albums:
    3
    Likes Received:
    1,026
    Location:
    The Midwest
    Verified:
    Photo
    I think that men will always suffer from penis envy, but more so if they've never been told anything truthfully about their penis from someone that was thoughtful and empathetic of your even wanting to know how you register on the 'dick scale.' Having confidence in yourself will help to curb the envy or anxiety. In my opinion, if you have a six inch penis, that's a nice penis that you should love and be proud of. There's only so much in a vagina anyway.

    When I was younger, or before so many of the conversations here, I found out that a lot of men with those dicks on the larger end of the scale also have problems with satisfying women because of their length and girth. That can be just as detrimental to a man's personal sexual perception as those that think their penises are insignificant. Imagine not being able to throw your dick like you want to because it's so long, while someone with just enough dick can enjoy the passion that they dick puts on them and have their partners really enjoy them and crave them more:confused:

    So, knowing that some men don't really get to enjoy sex because of a footlong dick helped me to not be so concerned or think less of my dick and its potential because I most certainly did before I started having sex and after the fact for that matter. That mindset is what continues to keep me sexually active regardless of the footlongs out there. I don't find men with longer dicks than my own intimidating at all. So, try that to keep from withdrawing yourself from dating and sexual opportunities. Don't rate yourself to what other men are walking around with when it comes to judging and feeling good about your endowment. You are just as bad ass as the next man. And so am I:wink:

    Peace
     
    #11 8060, Apr 23, 2009
    Last edited: Apr 23, 2009
  12. D_Cock_Hudson

    D_Cock_Hudson New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 29, 2009
    Messages:
    1,028
    Likes Received:
    5
    It's a pity some women cannot measure things properly- didn't think you had centimetres in the US.
     
  13. thickpex

    thickpex Member

    Joined:
    Jun 9, 2008
    Messages:
    114
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    19
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    North Carolina
    First, realize true love trumps everything. Note the adjective "true."

    Next, it's a known fact that women overestimate size of anything (no offense to the ladies here), so you can safely put the guy at 9" or so, prolly. Anyway, focus first on what you DO like about ur cock--does it get hard fast? Stay hard long? Can u come several times a nite? Do you shoot far? Is it thick? Have nice veins? Nice head? Look powerful (any size penis can look powerful)? C'mon, there's a lot of great qualities to a cock than size that u and a partner can appreciate.

    Also, measuring method consistency is vital in any comparison -- he's prolly measuring from the base on the underside, or from the side, which will give him at least an extra inch. When urologists measure cock size, it's from the top with the ruler pushed into the body until it hits the pubic bone.

    Also go to a website with pics of guys with small dicks to realize that there are A LOT more small ones than the ones you see here. The stats i found say there's an 8" penis about 8 in every 1,000 guys.
     
    #13 thickpex, Apr 23, 2009
    Last edited: Apr 23, 2009
  14. hoggindaz

    hoggindaz New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 14, 2008
    Messages:
    346
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    i really doubt that an 11 inch long correctly measured penis is more common than one in a million.
     
  15. jasond0778

    jasond0778 New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 10, 2009
    Messages:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    portsmouth
    My first post, hope it helps you.
    Firstly, I am average size, or so I'm led to believe by all the surveys at 6 inches.
    I've had several partners and NEVER had any negative remarks about my penis.
    All my relationships have been prfectly 'normal' as far as I am concerned.
    Penis envy seems to me to be much more of a male thing than a female thing, and yes, I too would like a bigger penis, but, you only have to look at some of the posts on here to see that a lot of guys on here who have 7 or 8 or 9 inches still say they would like another inch or two, so that seems perfectly normal too.
    In some of my relationships I have used a dildo as part of the 'fun' and foreplay but after the initial fun has worn off I've been asked to stop using dildo out as the girls wanted ME inside them.
    This has happened with more than one partner, so read into it what you will.

    Also, I look at it like this.
    Do you judge the sexual attractiveness or sexual performance of a woman JUST by the size of her breasts?
    I know I dont, I actually PREFER smaller breast, I personally find them so much more attractive. Small pert breasts with dark nipples, absolutely delicious, mmmmm, getting hard just thinking about them.
    I actually find larger breasts a turn off for me, and implants.......dont get me started on them, tits that dont move in sync with the body, completely unatural!
    I also find big arses a turn off, or big butts as you say in the states but for an awful lot of guys big tits or big butts seem to be so important, so each to his own.
    Thers someone out there for everyone.
    Remember that.
    My advice would be to get yourself out there, meet, date and have sex with women, talk to them and see what they really want, you may be very surprised.
    A big cock does not automatically make a guy a good lover any more than big tits make one woman better at sex than another.
    Yes, there will always be exceptions and some will have a preference for size just as some men prefer larger breasts, but just dont get hung up over it.
    And also, one last thing, sex with love, or some kind of 'emotional investment' is just soooooooo much better than casual sex.
    Ask any woman!
    As for this woman who talks about 11 inches, I would put money on the fact that she can't take it all, if she can she's probably got a pussy the size of a bucket, what happens if the guy finishes with her?
    Guys with 11 inch cocks have got to be very very thin on the ground, and they may be bald, have bad teeth and body odour, so dont get down over cock size, it aint worth it.
    Hope this helps you.
     
Draft saved Draft deleted