James, I as well was abused, but by a principal at my grammar school. Again can’t discuss here. Feel free to message me. I understand the feelings and issues.
Correlation with sexual abuse? i wonder...
- Thread starter Geremy
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If the suggested correlation is that boys who were abused by men are more likely to end up gay or bisexual in adulthood then I think we should be careful before concluding that there is causation. I think we have to consider the possibility that some abusers may have "gaydar" that means they are more likely to abuse a boy who is already gay or bi, even if he doesn't know it himself.
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I think there is a huge difference between abuse from any age and willing participant among peers, I experimented as a kid and it had some impact on who I am now but I feel I'm a more open minded person for it.
Really interesting to read these responses. I think there is something with genes and environment. Just the basics of Biology...in life some traits are not triggered until there is an environmental response. At the end of the day who knows but I a feel for all of you who were victims of abuse. That is not a way to be introduced to sex/sexuality.
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HorseHung40's
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I would also agree; there is a correlation between sexual abuse and later human sexual development.
halcyondays
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Keep in mind that the most common form of sexual abuse is sexual repression. Our bodies remain unviolated but not our minds.
I highlighted those words as I beleive they are quite important.
There is a difference between being biologically aligned to a sexuality (ie, born gay or straight), and what you are suggesting with your post.
Normally, as we grow and our brains start to mature, we embark on our sexual journey on our terms. By that, I mean when you are ready, you engage in sexual behaviour. Generally, when we are younger, we play around with both sexes to an extent. It's all about figuring things out, and navigating our personal maze to find out answers that make sense to us. So, while I may have played under a blanket with my female neighbour when I was younger, I was still gay but didn't fully accept/realize it until later in my teens. It was experimentation on my terms, that I processed on my own time, in a chain of events that led to me naturally becoming who I am today.
Premature exposure to experiences negates the natural process of figuring things out on your own, when you are ready. It happens on someone else's terms, and shocks your system. You simply aren't ready to deal with it, and it forces your brain to deal with something it simply isn't mature enough to properly process.
This can do a few things to a young mind:
1. Completely block the event. The brain just says NO and buries the experience. These tend to resurface later and cause a lot of problems that only a skilled professional can untangle.
2. Prematurely sexualize the person. One of the signs of an abused child is them behaving sexually much earlier than they should be.
3. Confusion and distrust, as well as acting out. There is an emotional/psychological soup created when something like this happens to a young person before they are ready. Essentially, they don't know/aren't equipped to understand what happened, but their brain still tries to make sense of it, and they then attempt to mesh it into their own understanding of themselves and the world.
What it amounts to is damage. You can also say shape or influence, but damage is much more accurate. Early exposure to experiences like that, no matter what their biological sexuality is, really muddies the water. Their natural growing and understanding of themselves gets overridden, interrupted, then confused.
That said, a straight child doesn't become gay, nor a gay child become straight, if this happens to them. I think that is the gist of what you were saying. No matter what their sexuality is, there will be a psychological deformation of how they see themselves, and how they behave.
(my caveat here is that this is a very short form, with a lot missing, of the subject. I was trying to answer the question, but realize there are many holes in the content I provided)
Yes I think so. I was never abused, but the guy that introduced me to my bisexuality was. I think its why he was attracted to much younger boys. I carried on a sexual relationship with him for 20 yrs. We became pretty close over that period. I learned alot about him and his childhood. I dont have any bad feelings toward him for anything. I think it does fuck with a kids head to deal with that and yes Im sure it affects sexuality.
mark4870
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Agree to an extent, can talk about it privately pm me
Exactly this. I too experimented when I was a kid (mind you, with another boy around my age), but interestingly enough I was not the one who initiated it, but after the first time, I wanted to do it more with him.
