In a stunningly surprising twist that nobody saw coming, Cosmo has decided to tell women that the seven most important rules of relationships (which they likely told you to observe) are wrong, and you need to change your behavior in order to be good girlfriends/wives/whatever. I'd actually like to hear the opinions of real women on these bits of "advice," so read on and sound off: 7 love rules you need to break Cosmopolitan magazine lists nonconventional tips for happier relationships These relationship secrets go against conventional wisdom, but Cosmo believes in shaking things up. Colleen Rush shares seven new rules for today's relationships: Just because youve always done something one way doesnt mean its the right way. Remember how much your life improved when you finally gave up super-low-rise jeans, dating only bad boys, and dial-up modems? Relationship experts say that ditching the following seven love rules can be just as liberating maybe more. Old rule: Dont be a jealous girlfriend A lot of women think theyll seem neurotic and needy if they act jealously, says Susan Piver, author of How Not to Be Afraid of Your Own Life. So when, say, a chick flirts with their man, many women may decide just to grit their teeth and play it cool to prove how secure they are. New rule: Act a little territorial A couldnt-care-less act can backfire, because a total absence of jealousy can be seen by your guy as a sign that you arent invested in the relationship, says David Buss, Ph.D., author of The Dangerous Passion. No, you cant go all Fatal Attraction every time he comes into contact with another woman, but it is OK to casually point out specific things that irk you like when a friend flirts with him or he repeatedly brings up a female co-worker you distrust. Just keep the comments directed at the chicks behavior so you dont seem like youre trying to control him. Examples: I dont like the way she was hanging all over you or Could she show any more cleavage? Revealing your inner green demon in moderation is flattering because it lets him know that the threat of losing him disturbs you and it demonstrates a genuine desire to protect your bond. Old rule: Never go to bed angry Youre trained to talk, talk, talk it out when theres tension in the air because you want a resolution. New rule: Sleep on a problem Heat-of-the-moment discussions can spiral out of control quickly. When you force an issue, you blab without having thought out what you need to say, which increases the chance that youll both blurt out things youll regret later, says Piver. And thats doubly true if youre tired. Sleeping on it first allows you to sort out what points are truly important. It also lets you decompress so that youll be calmer and more rational when you make your case. Just say, Im irritated and need time away. It can be smart to acquiesce if hes asking for a recess, too. Instead of insisting that you hash it out at that moment, schedule a time to readdress the issue. Saying Lets talk about this tomorrow after work makes it clear that you intend to revisit the conversation ... and that hes not off the hook. Most arguments lose their bite if you take some time out to think them through, says Piver. The next day, youll be able to talk about it without so much anger. And you fight, and move on without discussing it to death. Old rule: Crushing on other guys is cheating lite Unlike men, who feel free to ogle away at chicks without the slightest sense of remorse, women have a tendency to overthink a fleeting flirtation or lusty attraction to other men. Some women worry that theyre betraying their boyfriends or that its a sign that something is wrong in their relationship, says Cleveland clinical psychologist Joseph Rock, Psy.D. The end result is that you get all the guilt of an illicit affair without any of the fun. New rule: An innocent fantasy can fuel your love life The juiced-up feeling you get from a clandestine crush can be good for your existing twosome. The reason? You start to feel like that foxy, flirtatious single girl you used to be (the one your man found so irresistibly hot), and he reaps the benefits of your reawakened excitement. Look, sexual chemistry with other people is normal, and feeling guilty about a crush is an exercise in futility. Says Rock: Just because you are attracted to someone else even if youre fantasizing about him doesnt mean youre going to act on it. As long as you dont cross the line and turn your fantasy into reality, its OK to stop censoring your lusty thoughts and start enjoying them. Old rule: Always try to wow him in the sack Since youre a hot Cosmo girl, you likely spend a lot of time cooking up ways to blow your guys mind between the sheets, which, to be clear, is a very good thing. The danger begins if you focus on pleasing him to the point where you dont get your own O-zone needs met. Women sometimes have a hard time articulating what they want, particularly in bed, says Rock. They tend to be too selfless because theyre more comfortable giving to their partner than taking from him. New rule: Be selfish between the sheets Men pride themselves on being able to get you off, so even though it seems like a giving nature would provide him with the ultimate gratification, youll actually erode his sexual ego over time if he thinks your toes arent curling, too. If youre not satisfied, you both end up unhappy, says Rock. The solution is easy, even if youre too shy to say outright what you like: Use moans to let him know what turns you on or just demonstrate where and how you want to be touched. Old rule: You have to share all the same interests Some couples mistakenly think that being on the same page and being close means taking an active interest in all of each others pastimes. New rule: Solo time boosts your bond If you love snowboarding and so does, he, great. Bur forcing yourself to participate in his random hobbies dilutes your interactions. You get bored and ask him lots of questions, and he feels uncomfortable because he knows youre not really interested. Conversely, pressuring him to take part in your extracurriculars will just make him resentful. Nonstop couple time creates a dynamic thats more ball-and-chain than boyfriend-girlfriend. Plus, youre simply more interesting to each other if youre able to share separate experiences. When you pursue your own interests, you appreciate the things you do as a couple more, says Susan Campbell, Ph.D., author of Saying Whats Real. Old rule: Dont fall all over him You think hell gag if you throw your arms around his neck and tell him every little thing you love about him. Besides, youve been together long enough that he knows how you feel or think. New rule: Give in to your mushy side One of the side effects of being nuts about a guy is the occasional overwhelming urge to lavish him with affection and act like, you know, a girl. Dont hold back! Show him how much he rocks your world. A guy needs and wants to be reminded again and again why you love him, says couples therapist Jamie Turndorf, Ph.D., author of Till Death Do Us Part (Unless I Kill You First). Men might not admit that theyre into the romance stuff, but that difference is actually part of your allure in the first place. Give up on gushing and he may miss seeing that feminine trait. Though you want to reaffirm your affection for him, dont go too far overboard. The kind of things hell dig: Kiss his face all over, start lots of sentences with I love it when you , or call him the pet name you gave him when you first started dating. Tell him hes the barbecue/hard drive-debugger/bed-making master when he does something for you, or pine away for the things he does best when hes not around (I wish you were here to rub my back). Even if the comment seems minor, the extra dose of loving is what keeps the feelings you have for each other stoked, says Turndorf. Old rule: Act like Miss Independent By insisting on carrying the heavy suitcase, fixing your own cable box, and opening every jar of pickles, youre proving what a strong, modern woman you are, right? Well New rule: Let him be your Superman Men are certainly attracted to independent women, but if youre completely self-sufficient, they feel kind of useless, says Rock. Obviously, if its a task thats faster and easier for you to do yourself, you should go for it. But give him the ego boost of letting him do the things hes particularly good at, whether its making his killer mushroom risotto, lugging your groceries upstairs with that much-vaunted male upper-body strength, or just driving in the snow. Men need to be protectors and providers, and theyre action-oriented, says Turndorf. Doing things for you is how he expresses his love. So let him, already!