Cougar Quarry?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by Fredneck1951, Aug 28, 2006.

  1. Fredneck1951

    Fredneck1951 Member

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    Three years ago my wife and I moved back to the town where she grew up (she'd been in California almost 40 years, we met and married there). Her best friend, who'd been in New York City almost the same exact length of time also moved back to town.

    My wife and I have been together 31 years. I have never fooled around on her and I believe the same of her.

    Her friend was married and divorced twice and carried on a star-crossed, doomed affair for some years with a married doctor. That broke up around 20 years ago. Her friend says she has not been with a man since then.

    My wife has a congenital condition that saps her strength and has affected her health negatively. As such, her sex drive and ability to engage in sex has diminished greatly over the last few years.

    Her friend is quite active, youthful-looking, has lost 30 pounds in the last few months and wants to lose 30 more. She is getting fit and toned and says she "wants the body I had in my 20s". Who knows, she might even turn to science for a nip/tuck along the way. In any event, this lady is on the prowl or soon will be.

    My wife is becoming jealous of her friend. Her friend often questions my wife about the frequency and quality of our sexual relations, jokes that she's always horny with a wet pussy and wants to hear about it so she's got something by which to masturbate. She tells my wife that if she's not "keeping him (me) busy", then "send him (me) over". My wife knows she's kidding, but...(BTW, that was from a recent phone conversation my wife related to me).

    When it's just the three of us the topic often turns to sex. I am not comfortable discussing such under these circumstances. She often talks about masturbating, dildos, and her interest in securing the attentions of a younger man at some unspecified point.

    Oh, I should let you know that a few months ago her friend said to me while we were discussing something unrelated on the phone, "I'd fuck you." Yes, I heard it right. Yes, I was taken aback. No, I did not react.

    So, just to cut it short, no, there is no way I would cheat on my wife and especially not with her best friend. However, I don't want to be caught alone with this woman, and I don't need the grief from all the drama. I don't want to feel defensive over the situation.

    Any insights and suggestions are appreciated.
     
  2. jeff black

    jeff black <img border="0" src="/images/badges/gold_member.gi

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    This woman sounds like a bitch and a troublemaker.

    If you are bothered by her, I suggest you speak to your wife and inform her that you feel uncomfortable when her "friend" is over.

    If that doesn't work, speak with the friend yourself. All you have to do is explain that you don't like the way she speaks and that you feel uncomfortable. If she is a good friend of your wife, she will back off and act her age.

    Best of luck.:rolleyes:
     
  3. yhtang

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    I with Jeff.
     
  4. ClaireTalon

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    I'd not take it too seriously. Really, there's a large gap between talking, and actually doing, and I've heard that kind of inter-female talk more than once. Some never act on it, they just like the thought of gathering and making the pig fly verbally, the way some men boast in front of others with their conquests and sexual abilities. Also, sorry to say that, at past 50 you don't exactly qualify as a young guy anymore, so I guess your worries about being alone with her aren't necessary.
     
  5. B_Spladle

    B_Spladle New Member

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    Dude, you're gonna end up banging her one way or another. Just go with it, divorce your wife, and see what happens.
     
  6. naughty

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    Workin&#039; up a good pot of mad!
    Jeff,

    She is acting her age. People are sexual beings all through their lives. However, her behavior may not be appropriate because of the relationship.There is nothing wrong with trying to look your best at any age. I wish them all the best, she in finding someone to be with other than her "friend's" husband and Fredneck and his wife in finding a way to let their friend know that they both feel uncomfortable with the banter...








     
  7. Fredneck1951

    Fredneck1951 Member

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    Well, Claire, thanks for clearing all of that up.

    Now my lumbago is hurting...
     
  8. Pene_Negro_Grande

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    Hmm I always say there is a little truth in all jokes....Your friend could be testing the waters....It has been awhile for her it sounds like w/her body transformation her confidence and self esteem seems to be going up....Personally I have always liked cougars....Something about an older female that takes care of her body....I really like women in the 35 to 40 range....Something about a mature woman that has seen and done enough....
     
  9. ClaireTalon

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    "Act her age", what a cruel thing to say. Am I acting my age? What is acting her age?

    Certainly there's something ridiculous about a woman who takes prybar attempts on acting like a 20-year-old nubile nymph or appearing youthful, I agree with that. But in this context, your answer implies that past a certain age, talking about sex, joking about it, and making advances is no thing to do anymore. Correct me if I misunderstand you.
     
  10. Pecker

    Pecker Retired Moderator
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    You and your wife need to agree that this 'friend' presents a danger to your marriage as long as she doesn't recognise boundaries (her current behavior and her past performaces prove that.) She may have been a true friend at one time but now, if you value your union's health, you'll both agree it is important to break off contact with this person.

    She obviously doesn't take your wife's illness seriously except to take advantage of her weakness (and yours?) and as long as she's around she'll gradually chip away at your wife's trust in you.
     
  11. Fredneck1951

    Fredneck1951 Member

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    Pecker, I think your advice is pretty good and Spladle's advice is pretty bad, although it might be fun...er momentarily, at least.

    And Claire, I'm glad you think she's still a sexual creature, while I, snif, am no longer a "young guy" with no value at all as a target...sob.

    Yes, her friend seems to have an incomplete view of appropriate boundaries. I told my wife the boundaries are more important than the friendship to me.
     
  12. ClaireTalon

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    No intention to hurt you or your wife, but her joking tells me in some way that you're still in the game. Otherwise, she wouldn't joke like that about "borrowing" you. My special tip: Take it as a compliment, and play the joking game with her. If nothing else, it's probably a good way to test the waters on how serious she's being.
     
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