could REALLY use some advice. long post, but I hope a few bare with me lol

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by StudentofLife, Apr 2, 2009.

  1. StudentofLife

    StudentofLife Member

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    Well, I'm in a real pickle here. Infact not even sure how to explain it all lol. I could spend hours writing pages here to explain it all but I'll try my best to be short-ish...yeah right lol =/

    I have been seeing a woman for the past 9 months. We care about each other VERY much, love each other infact. She is in university just finishing 4th year and trying to wrap up things for Grad school entrance etc and I'm currently working and Paying for school lol! We are swingers, we were both single in the lifestyle sorta for about a year before meeting each other. As you can imagine, being such as we are we are both VERY sexually open and can talk about anything really. A little about her as it's somewhat pertinent later on hehe. She is VERY honest, open and caring. She is also Deaf, and if any of you know any Deaf people and the community you'll know they are very tight knit, know each other mostly and are VERY blunt and upfront lol. I honestly think she'd be blunt anyhow lol. But yes, she is VERY blunt....the kind of blunt that if you happened to be less than average downstairs and you asked, she would tell you, truthfully :p Ohh, one other thing of note....she is that girl that can Really go forever, the girl that no mortal man can FULLY tire out sexually lol. Have sex, toys, foreplay, more sex, toys, cum cum cum, foreplay sex etc all day long and she can go again. I am NOT worried to say that I cannot in any way keep up with her sex drive fully lol.

    Phew, OK! Currently in our relationship we are only looking for men for MFM. Not couples at this time and I am not interested in pursuing women for solo or FMF right now. She has never "Before" really cared about a man's size as long as it was at least a good average or above. I, however, DO like the thought of larger men...who doesn't around here? LOL And of course she is like OK with that to :wink: We were on website called AdultFriendfinder. I'm sure many of you have heard of it or even had some experience with it. You'll know that looking for men is hard lol. 9/10 are duds so you literally have to be talking to 10 just to meet 1 lol. I like looking so I search for some time, looking for well equipped guy(s) that actually displays some sort of intelligence as well and a level of maturity lol. I luck out :) He's even got a reference from a few people including somebody I know quite well and even on msn. Talk to her, get the thumbs up and away we go! They play, it's a double edged sword. He is VERY large, her largest man by far(we just got a new toy 3 weeks ago that is exactly 8.5" X 6.5" girth so she knows his size to be about 9X6.5-6.75" girth) She ends up LOVING how he feels inside her but hating that he does not do foreplay/and only lasts a very short time. They play again and he lasts much longer, maybe 30 minutes of VEry hard doggie(Her FAV!) and she says he felt just incredible inside her but again...not long enough and no foreplay barely lol. So no worries here...no problems. From how she explains I can tell she is not much more intrigued by really large men and quite frankly I'm hot for it. HOT!

    Now, the real meat n potatoes of the post. I told the last to show were this started from mostly. She never "Really" cared about size as long as decent. Now, I can tell from how she explains things(We tell each other EVERYTHING and Very bluntly..I do not care he is bigger lol) I pretty much know she is really starting to enjoy this LARGE phenomenon :p I enjoy it to! So during this whole time(3 months ago) we are also talking to a nice gentleman on AFF. We talk, he's nice, funny...good looking. He's a nice guy, no doubting that. In his AFF profile he lists as Very long/Very thick but really...so many guys do that and end up being 7.5 tops lol. We think nothing of it. Talk on msn, he ends up revealing that he is 11.5" long and roughly 7.5" girth. I'm like NO way lol. She is a little more believing and is like...umm, what do I do with that? I'm trying to make this story short sorry! I'll skip as much as possible here. Over time we talk about sex, personal, normal stuff. Everything. We all become friends. We could go to a movie together NP! He sends us photos of his body, face, privates everything lol. Well, the photos SHOW a man with what he says...a VERY endowed white Mandingo with Shane diesel's girth. Still, Very warry as photos are easy right? Over the threee months we talk he makes us some videos of him masturbating(plz do not ask for them lol...first we are friends I could not withought permission and well, honestly they are on her computer and we do not live together) You'll just have to trust me lol.

    Interesting enough they do indeed have the Same face, body AND cock he showed in his photos. Good looking, nice body and the cock of a titan =/ LOL. I'm like Hell yeah! She is intrigued to say the least but also wondering where it will all go lol but we never seem able to meet up. Well, about 4 weeks ago Finally I ask him if he is free this saturday and he says YES! I'm like OMG, he is free??? So I detail an encounter to him that my GF has fantasized about many times. I play with her, blind fold her, hand cuffs with red fuzzy her lol. All the sudden a different man is touching her and well, you know! He says ohh yeah! lets do it! OK, so night comes I do the set up and letting him in the appartment and to the fun we go. He touches and plays with her body, He is in construction so she knows immediately it's a different man, he has calloused hands. His pants come off and well, it was true. to my guess he really IS 11-ish X THICK. 7.5 girth or not...it was the thickest I've ever seen in person before. Wow, post to long :( Speed up time! They have sex for 3.5 hours or so.....foreplay, sex, foreplay, sex. They had to because she kept hyperventilating and needing to have a breather so he would do oral, touching then. I've NEVER in my life seen her react like that before. So loud, dirty talking, gasping, everything. It was Hot honestly. She NEVER cums from penetration, or 1-2 times MAX from any man she's ever been with. only Squirted 2 times EVER in her life and no idea how she did it. With Mr Titan cock as I'll call him she orgasmed I do not know how many times, squirted a couples times and quite frankly had the best sex of her life. BAR NONE. She's blunt, I asked lol. She admitted she's Never felt like that during sex before and literally could not barely even breath for how it felt and the new sensations etc. They had sex again last weekend, even better than the last as she could take a little more of him and he knew her body a bit more. Again, Many several orgasms and I don't mean 3-4. Like 10-20 likely and that is a LOT for a girl that does not orgasm from penetration. He IS the best sex she has ever had, Nobody has ever fully 100% tired her out/satisfied her sexually so that she didn't want more...untill him =/

    I'm a swinger, I'm not supposed to feel threatened right? Well...I do lol. We've always had a GREAT sexual relationship and fully open and upfront with each other. This man is her sexual god, seriously. If you had been there you would know what I mean. I can't help but feel that if I allow them to continue to play something will change in our relationship and I admit I'm a bit scared. I don't mind larger, I don't mind if a man has a few new tricks. But this was something different, it was like pandora's box! She described to me how he honestly felt better than any man inside her. Her body is built to accommodate a large man so basically these two were MADE for each other sexually LOL. And the guy is NICE! We are all friends GRR. If she were single I know he would be somebody she could date as well lol. WTF do I do? lol. Do I tell her I just feel very threatened and ask them to stop? Ask my swinging GF to stop having the BEST sex of her life with this guy? Tell her she basically cannot be friends with him anymore cause you KNOW friends going to Boston Pizza for a few beers with that sort of sexual chemistry is asking for trouble lol! Or do I grin and bare it and hope for the best?

    I ask her to stop I risk her resenting me because they are not only amazing sexual partners but also friends to boot. I don't ask them to stop and I risk having things change over time in our relationship, I'm sure I don't have to explain how lol. GAH! I'm stuck :( Ladies, if you were in a situation like this, the best sex you have EVER had by FAR and friends also...would you be mad at your significant other telling you NO GO? Guys, d00ds! WTF do I do here? lol. Swinging is not for newbs :p I still love it, a learning curve for sure though. HELP!


     
  2. ivanahumpalot

    ivanahumpalot New Member

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    What I got from your post (yes, I read the entire thing) is that you were all for her being sexually active with another man as long as she didn't enjoy him more than she enjoyed you, but now that there's someone who has bested you, you want her to stop.

    It's an ego thing, sure...I guess what you have to reconcile within yourself is whether your ego matters more to you than does her pleasure.

    My suggestion is to tell her that you're having some trepidation over the thought that he will replace you as her significant other over time, if the two of them continue down this road...and let her make the choice on how to proceed. You can ask her to stop...I have a strange feeling that telling her to stop might be met with some resistance.

    Good luck!
     
  3. StudentofLife

    StudentofLife Member

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    umm, no...not better. There is a difference between having a man please your GF/wife or what have you better and having him basically be god's gift to her directly lol. I even said in my post that a larger man is a turn on for me. If he's better it's more tricks I can learn. This was different and to be totally blunt nobody will likely fully understand it unless they had been there :p LOL, swinging is all about experiencing different people. Some better, some worse. I dunno, I thought I said several times I was totally hot for men to be hung and bigger equipped etc in my post :p The real thing here is that they are also friends now, which was likely a mistake lol. EVERY swinger will have times when they feel uncomfortable and have to make that call to end play with a certain person. I just don't know what I risk now that we are all friends as well. Blah
     
  4. StraightCock4Her

    StraightCock4Her New Member

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    As I have said many times: DONT SWING WHEN YOU LOVE THE PERSON YOU'RE SWINGING WITH. /rant

    Let's play a little scenario logic game here:

    If you love a girl/guy:

    -You don't want to lose her, ever.
    -When you swing, there is a "small" chance you could lose your partner to a "better" one.

    Therefore you DONT SWING unless won't mind losing him/her.


    And for a bonus: you're totally not 100% straight after that "I love the look of big cocks" comment.

    Second bonus: suicide.
     
  5. ManlyBanisters

    Gold Member

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    A few words to my good pal Straightcock before I get to the OP:
    SC, just because you care as much as you seem to about a guy identifying as 100% when you don't think he is doesn't mean he does. Please stop telling people to alter their %'s - the guy isn't even posting about that and it is none of your business. Secondly, I know you believe people can't really properly share when they love each other - that you believe love is an exclusive thing - and for you I'm sure it is. But that doesn't apply to the whole world. Lots of couples swing - many do it because they love each other and want to experience a range of sexual satisfaction and variety together. It's not something I can see myself doing, it's not something you want to do - but that doesn't mean your judgements apply to everyone. Please - just give these people some space and answer the question that was asked without trying to stamp your opinions all over the issue.

    StudentofLife: I don't think the sex particularly matters here - that may sound odd but maybe it'll help some other posters understand. You and your gf love each other and have a good relationship. If you weren't swingers it would still be possible that the two of you could have met this amazing friend who you both think is great but she has an extra little 'something' with. The issue here is not him fucking her within an inch of her life, the issue the chemistry you think they have, or could have, beyond that - right? The sex they have together is hot for you, for him, for her - it's all good. Your concern is that you think maybe the two of them could be partners and partners, for you and your gf, works on a level that is above and beyond how and with whom you get your sexual satisfaction. It's the non-sexual chemistry that's the worry. In part or your post you seem a little concerned that she could fall in love with him because of the sex but is she really like that? Why are the two of you gf and bf and not just fuck buddies? Because there is something more than sex going on between you.

    The only thing you can really do is talk to her. Tell her that you love her and you want her to have this amazing sex but that you are only human and you need reassuring that it is just sex.

    And to answer your question would I be mad if I was in a situation like this and my bf asked me to stop? Difficult to answer, as I said I don't swing - but I don't think I would be mad. I might be disappointed both in the loss of the great sex and in the fact that my open relationship turned out to have limits I wasn't aware of. But maybe I wouldn't - maybe I'd be pleased that my bf could be honest with me about his needs and maybe I'd think that some limits are OK if they help preserve my relationship. Like I say, you really have to talk to her. You and she need to work out what is OK in your swinging relationship and what is not. It appears to me that you are concerned she has crossed, or is about to cross, a boundary - which in turn makes me think that the boundaries in your relationship are not clear. Any relationship, monogamous, polyamourous, whatever, needs clear boundaries - and they take a while to work out. Talk, talk, talk - that's the only way forward - and listen, too. That's actually more important than the talking.

    In summary - no, don't just flat out ask her to stop. Tell her that you have mixed feelings about this swinging partner, tell her what they are and ask her to help you resolve the problem.
     
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