Couldnt get it up today. So embarrased!!!

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by camelboy, Jul 23, 2007.

  1. camelboy

    camelboy New Member

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    Ok here is the short version.

    I havent seen my new gf in two months. We only had sex one time before she went on study abroad. First time it was great. We did it twice for a couple of hours. So much fun and foreplay.

    Fast forward 2 months later. I have not seen her since the last time we did it. So today we decided to go for a movie and dinner, but when i got to her place, she wanted to do it before we go and so did I.:cool:

    I started with a lot of foreplay and licking and kissing etc...

    Then she went down on me and I was erect.

    When i put the condom on and went it, i suddenly got soft and couldnt get it up anymore and the more i tried the more embrassed and nervous i got.

    She then looked at me and gave me a kiss and said it will be fine. I had to make a sob story that i was having a bad day etc. and my mind was going crazy.

    We went out and had a good time, but oh by talk about the embrassment. I never had have this happent to me before. As a matter of face. I used to do it with strangers all the time after the bars and crazy hotel nights.

    She was kind of pissed at me and asked me why am i not getting turned on or hard. She thinks i dont like her or something, which isnt true at all.

    I need to show her some good lovin next time and makes sure that this never happens again to me. How can i prevent this from happening?
    This is scary to me. Should i take some horny pills next time to me me go wild?

    Im 22 and full of sex, dont know why this happend today. just made me feel less of a man:eek: :redface: :sad2:
     
  2. michigan_guy_610

    michigan_guy_610 New Member

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    oh man...it must've been pretty bad if you had to bring out the sob story!! wow dude, i don't even know what i can say on this one
     
  3. Love-it

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    You can't pee at the movies if anyone is around and you can't keep an erection for your girlfriend when you haven't seen her in two months, you just might have some issues.

    You need to relax and realize that these issues will be resolved in time. When you stop worrying about it and can laugh it off you will be all right.
     
  4. RideRocket

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    My thoughts exactly. You need to relax.
     
  5. ManlyBanisters

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    Firstly - you are not less of a man. Secondly do NOT take horny pills - you're 22 - you might kill the poor girl :eek: :wink:

    You do need to relax - you have 'stage fright' issues - being concerned about it is going to make it worse. Now, that's the easiest thing in the world for me to say, much more difficult for you to do.

    Try to chill - tell your girl that it is anxiety, that you just want to please her so much. Foreplay was OK the last time? Well then LOTS of foreplay, eat her pussy til her head spins. Make it all about her and pleasing her with your hands, mouth, toys if you have them - and if your erection stays, good, fuck her senseless - if it wains a bit again, keep going with the foreplay - once she's cum 3 or 4 times she'll be in more of a mood to be 'lenient' if you've had erection issues agian.

    But mainly try, and it's not easy, but try not to think about it.
     
  6. simcha

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    Dude, you're OK. It's normal, even at 22. It was probably even more difficult because of the build up you created in your mind. Sorry she went on to shame you about it. That sucks. Look, she better get used to it if she's going to take that attitude with guys, because it's no help when you can't get it up and your partner makes it about them. So you had an off night. It won't be your last, I can assure you. Just relax, like others have said. You'll learn to laugh this off as one of life's little jokes. If you laugh and she still has issues, find someone else. No one needs a nag or someone who guilts you about a normal fact of male sexuality.
     
  7. Principessa

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    I was going to suggest you had a classic case of stage fright.

    Everything ManlyBanisters said is correct and said far more eloquently. Listen to her, she's really smart. :smile:
     
  8. B_Think_Kink

    B_Think_Kink New Member

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    Sad she went off on you about it, it seems the stress to preform for her, caused you too be overly anxious about it, and then your body shut itself down from not knowing what you wanted it to do. Try not starving yourself for time (like before dinner or a movie) set the mood for yourself, relaxing music, candles, dim the lights. Set it up so you feel internally relaxed, it might be easier for you to preform outwardly if you can keep calm inwardly. Two months is a long time for your mind to create false ideas about how sex will be when she got back to you...

    Again relax, and good luck.
     
  9. ManlyBanisters

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    :redface: Aw gee...
     
  10. soullessfire

    soullessfire New Member

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    Same thing happened to me recently.

    My partner and I had chosen a really hot chinese guy to join us in bed... I was so into it, but nothing at all happened "downstairs". I had a nice time giving oral, but obviously had to say something, cos the guy was hot, and I didn't want him thinking I didn't like him. I muttered something about work being a bitch when he left.

    Anyhow, we arranged another meet a few days later... and it started so well... I was rock hard and ready to go. Until about 10 minutes in... my BF said "see... told you he liked you" which put the problem to the front of my mind... and down it went :(

    I've always been oversexed, and I get a boner at the drop of a hat normally, so I can tell you it's one of the worst things that's happened to me. Every time I think of it happening, i feel about as turned on as wet spaghetti.

    I'm just letting it go and trying to forget it at the minute, but if need be I'll get some pills and have a session. I figure that if I can do it once without worrying about it, then I'm going to be ok.
     
  11. dolfette

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    it's no big deal.

    tell your you like her so much you got stage fright.
    ...which is most likely the truth.
    it'll work again when you relax.

    if she's worth your time she'll understand.
    if not, you've not lost anyone special.
     
  12. canZ

    canZ Member

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    Tell her shit happens and you're not a machine that should work :p

    But like the rest of the gallery said it's completely normal/natural and sometimes you just can't rise to the occasion much in the same way a genius doesn't always get a perfect score on tests...and let her know that it doesn't mean you don't like her anymore that's just silly :)
     
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