couldnt stay hard...
- Thread starter balkanxxl
- Start date
D_CountdeGrandePinja
Account Disabled
- Joined
- Sep 26, 2007
- Posts
- 634
- Media
- 17
- Likes
- 105
- Points
- 273
- Location
- New Orleans
- Verification
- View
- Sexuality
- 90% Gay, 10% Straight
- Gender
- Male
I had this problem for years, same thing no medical reason, and actually I think the anxiety I had was from worrying whether I'd be able to get or stay hard enough to fuck. For me I finally found out I had ADD and that basically I was just thinking about too much stuff during sex that wasn't sex (remember unlike animals, sexual stimulation and orgasms, and erections in humans are mostly mental rather than just physical) and that was keeping me from staying hard. It was really frustrating as I had no probs staying hard when jerking off, and for a long time I just assumed I was somehow genetically predestined to be a bottom only.
I had no idea I had ADD, and only stumbled across it accidentally with my doctor because of some other issues I was having. You might want to consider it just because for a lot of guys you can have it pretty bad yet sort of self-adjust to the point where it goes undetected. For me, although I didn't expect any results sexually, after about 3-4 days on adderall I suddenly noticed that 1, I was horny as fuck, and 2, I wanted to top, and 3, when I hooked up the first time after starting on the meds, had no prob getting hard, staying hard, and finally could really enjoy sex with the person I was with without randomly thinking of all sorts of other crap.
Check this site out:
ADD versus ADHD What's the difference?
Read through that list of potential symptoms. According to my psychiatrist (your doc sends you to one of those generally for stuff like this), in adults there is really no measurable difference between ADD and ADHD and that if more than a few of the things listed in either column on that site apply to you, then you likely have it and should talk to your doctor (or if in college go to your campus counseling and testing center).
I had no idea I had ADD, and only stumbled across it accidentally with my doctor because of some other issues I was having. You might want to consider it just because for a lot of guys you can have it pretty bad yet sort of self-adjust to the point where it goes undetected. For me, although I didn't expect any results sexually, after about 3-4 days on adderall I suddenly noticed that 1, I was horny as fuck, and 2, I wanted to top, and 3, when I hooked up the first time after starting on the meds, had no prob getting hard, staying hard, and finally could really enjoy sex with the person I was with without randomly thinking of all sorts of other crap.
Check this site out:
ADD versus ADHD What's the difference?
Read through that list of potential symptoms. According to my psychiatrist (your doc sends you to one of those generally for stuff like this), in adults there is really no measurable difference between ADD and ADHD and that if more than a few of the things listed in either column on that site apply to you, then you likely have it and should talk to your doctor (or if in college go to your campus counseling and testing center).
Denverbearmark
Sexy Member
- Joined
- Mar 21, 2010
- Posts
- 199
- Media
- 8
- Likes
- 42
- Points
- 113
- Location
- Denver, CO USA
- Sexuality
- 99% Gay, 1% Straight
- Gender
- Male
Could just be normal anxiety; the thing to do for that is just enjoy being together and not build up the actual fucking into a huge issue. Practice deep breath, focusing your attention on other sexual/sensual experiences at that time--i.e. enjoy sucking and getting sucked, nip play, ball licking and caressing, talking sexy to one another. Even just mutual massage can be good!
Being open to one another about issue is probably good too. He may be feeling like he is not turning you on or is doing something wrong. So let him know that you want to experience this together, but that you are experiencing some performance anxiety. Make sex a playful experience, and just goes with what comes along. If you both are open to having fun together, and don't have a huge agenda of what needs to happen for it to be a good experience, it will be good no matter what actually takes place.
I have this acquaintance of mine that all our group has talked about. He has the scene so scripted in his mind, that if it deviates one little bit he can't get into the fun of it. He has had the opportunity to play with some great looking, really hot guys with great attitudes, but has stopped the action mid course because the guy wasn't saying exactly what he thought he should at the right time. Now there may be other issues, but it really seems to us that this is his issue--having too detailed of a script for play to go naturally.
Being open to one another about issue is probably good too. He may be feeling like he is not turning you on or is doing something wrong. So let him know that you want to experience this together, but that you are experiencing some performance anxiety. Make sex a playful experience, and just goes with what comes along. If you both are open to having fun together, and don't have a huge agenda of what needs to happen for it to be a good experience, it will be good no matter what actually takes place.
I have this acquaintance of mine that all our group has talked about. He has the scene so scripted in his mind, that if it deviates one little bit he can't get into the fun of it. He has had the opportunity to play with some great looking, really hot guys with great attitudes, but has stopped the action mid course because the guy wasn't saying exactly what he thought he should at the right time. Now there may be other issues, but it really seems to us that this is his issue--having too detailed of a script for play to go naturally.
Is this a relationship that you want more from than from others? That is are you thinking this might be something more long-term?
Similar threads
