Couple has dilemma after experiencing huge cock

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by pseudocognomen, Nov 16, 2006.

  1. pseudocognomen

    pseudocognomen New Member

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    This has to do with a very large cock and how it changed our lives.
    I'll apologize in advance for this being so long.

    My wife and I have enjoyed MFM threesomes for six years. For us it's not about domination or humiliation or any of that cuckolding stuff (nothing wrong with that if that's what you like). But for us we just like sex and this is another fun variation. It's like having a really fun new sex toy. We had one guy that was a regular for many years and we became good friends. But then he got a new girlfriend so we didn't see him anymore. Typically we like a guy that's about the same size as me, 7" and average girth. Much bigger than that and she has trouble with oral and she loves to deep throat. She also likes to DP both cocks in her pussy so it helps if we're not too different in size. I've always loved watching a cock slide into her and listening to her cum. Especially love 69ing with her while I guy does her from behind and I lick her clit. Then he and I would switch places.

    Because of some work and family obligations we bought a second house halfway across the country that I go to for half of each month, and it will probably be that way for a few more years. It sucks big time but we still get to spend the other half of the month together. When we're in the same house we usually have sex every day, so we get pretty horny being apart and after awhile the phone sex just wasn't cutting it. So we decided to find a new guy for MFM that she could also play with alone when I was gone. Then we'd find another guy for MFM here that would be okay with some mutual jacking with just me. We have ALWAYS played together so we decided to get wireless webcams and only play when the other one of us was available to participate remotely. Okay, so far, so good.

    We advertised online only for the MFM part and once we got to talk to the guy for awhile we let him know about playing with her alone and me watching on cam. It was very clear up front that we were just looking for a fuck buddy. So we shopped around and one day I found this young black guy that was intelligent and funny and had a great athletic body. He claimed he could go and go for as long as we wanted and he could recover in 5-10 minutes after he cums. That worked for us because we both enjoy long sessions. We didn't get into cock measurements and all that because he sent us a pic that showed he was a good 6"-7" flaccid.

    A few days later we invite him over one afternoon... webcam is on and clean sheets on the bed. We all chat for awhile with my wife and this guy sitting on the bed. Then she reaches over and starts rubbing his cock through his pants and he puts his hands up her shirt. Before long they both decide to get undressed and her mouth fell open when his rather large member sprang out. He was about half hard and already at least 8" and extremely thick. She pushed him back on the bed and climbed up so she good lick and suck this monster shaft. Fully erect he was just over 9" and was easily 8" around. She said she'd never seen such a thick cock and was comparing it to her forearm -- he was thicker! When she finally climbed up and started to slide her pussy on to him it took several minutes for her to stretch around him. I'd never heard sounds from her like the ones she was making as she fucked him. He stayed hard as a rock and fucked her for 90 minutes straight in every imaginable position. She usually doesn't cum very hard until she gets really comfortable with a guy but I knew from the moans she was making that he was totally rocking her world. I lost track of how many times she had wild screaming orgasms like I'd seldom ever heard from her. They finally stopped because he had an appointment to go to.

    After he left she told me how much she enjoyed him, and we talked about how much fun the three of us could have together. I had to admit that I really enjoyed watching. Maybe I'm part voyeur or something but it was just a beautiful sight to see her enjoying herself like that. I told her I was happily surprised she could cum so hard with a brand new guy. She said she'd never felt a cock fill her up like that and it just totally put her over the edge. She asked if she could have him back the next day and I said go for it.

    So the next day she was very vague about when, or if, he was coming over. I said just let me know when he shows because I'm looking forward to it. About 3 or 4 hours later I still hadn't heard from her and I knew the kids would be home from school soon. All of a sudden she calls and turns the webcam on. They're in bed naked and she asks if I want to watch them play some more. I could tell from looking at her that he had been there for awhile and I was kind of hacked off that she mislead me and didn't call earlier. But I kept my mouth shut and just said, yeah go for it. To be honest, I didn't even watch because now I'm pissed. About 20 minutes later they finish and he leaves.

    She showers and then PM's me and I ask how long he was there before you turned on the cam. 'Not long' she says, 'I guess I kind of forgot to turn it on'. We talk some more and she finally admits that he told her the day before that he was a little uncomfortable with the whole cam thing. So she decided to start with it off so he could relax and not be distracted. She said they fucked for over two hours and it was the best fuck of her entire life. This is some of what she said in chat about what they did off cam:

    today I told him to fuck me hard
    I was afraid if you saw it on cam you would say "stop, you're hurting her"
    and I'd say "no, fuck me harder"
    and he did... so hard it almost made me cry
    he pinned me down and held my arms behind my back
    he completely filled me with his cock over and over
    now I WAS crying
    and then I told him to fuck me even harder
    and he did... I felt like I was being raped
    and I really liked it
    just complete animalistic fucking


    Okay, so now I'm starting to wonder what we're getting ourselves into. This was getting very intense, very fast. I'd never heard her talk like this before. She said she invited him over for another session the following day and I told her I had meetings that I couldn't get out of so tomorrow wouldn't work. She said maybe we shouldn't have to do the cam every time and we could just tell the other person about it after, or maybe sometimes not at all. Now the alarms are going off and I'm feeling like I'm a total outsider and not a very welcome one at that. I was honest and told her how I was feeling and asked that we limit this to once a week when I'm out of town (I thought that was pretty reasonable) and that I wouldn't be comfortable with any off-cam activity.

    I never anticipated her reaction. She was totally pissed with me that I was 'putting all of these restrictions on her'. Huh? You're my wife and you're fucking another guy that I approved of and I'm putting restrictions on you??? We ended up getting in a big fight over it all and decided to talk about it more the next day. She did tell the guy not to come over until we worked things out so I'll give her credit for that. Then her period started and we tabled the conversation until I got home the following week. We finally decided not to do anymore playing for awhile and just let it all settle down.

    But every time we made love she kept asking me to push her down on the bed and hold her arms behind her back and fuck her as hard as I could. Now I've always been very confident in my skills and she's always said how much I satisfy her, but this was starting to fuck with my head. I'm just not equipped to do what he did to her and nothing will change that. I finally talked to her about it and let her know I was getting a complex about this repeated scenario every time. Her reply was that maybe we should invite the other guy back once in awhile just in MFM situations where we're all present. She said she'd love to fuck that cock again anytime I was okay with it.

    So there's my dilemma. Part of me wants to just drop the whole thing and never have anyone outside of our marriage ever join us again. I'm afraid it will quickly get out of hand and I'll end up feeling like shit. On the other hand, I'm having a big problem with the fact that she's had this experience that I wasn't part of. We've always shared everything and I have this crazy desire to have him back for one last time. I want to share the experience with her so I don't feel like it's something 'outside of us'. We are still very much in love and she says she'll go along with whatever I decide.

    Any advice or comments would be appreciated. Thanks
     
  2. B_dickman27

    B_dickman27 New Member

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    Well dude after reading ur story i d say that if u are sure about ur wifes feeling for you and there not even 1% that she could start doing things without u knowing it, i d say go for it anf have fun.
    But can u honestly tell me that everytime ur not around u wont think that maybe she is with him?? I believe that u have reached the point that even i u do continue or not u will never be sure whats going on when ur not in town.
    I ve once shared a girl i was fucking and she ended up getting fucked him him and with other guys when i was present and when i wasnt and we finally broke up. Those kind of games need to have rules and rules are set from the beginning.
     
    rockhoward69 likes this.
  3. 2hung4u

    2hung4u New Member

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    How long have you been married?
     
  4. curious4u2005

    curious4u2005 New Member

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    pseudocognomen,

    I read your post and I am sorry that your "playing together" has turned into a dilemma for you. All relationships need that extra spice to keep things interesting whether it be..... sharing your partner with another male, etc. I have not experienced this with my spouse, so it is hard for me to really give advise based on experience.

    I will try my best to put into words what I think.

    If you and your wife truly have real love for each other and you understand that in order to continue the "play time"......you must both be present ( by cam, etc.).... then all should be okay. If a man cannot abide by the rules you both agree to, then you should keep looking until you find one. If you want to watch by cam and the guy who is with your wife does not like it, then you find someone else.

    You have to be really secure with each other and willing to do what it takes to satisfy the both of you.

    If this lifestyle is going to continue to bother you, I suggest that you do something else to spice up your sex life. Otherwise, you will be constantly wondering if "the gentlemen with the large penis" is stopping by.

    Even though the two of you are married, your wife craves another male inside of her because she is looking for that extra something that she cannot get from her husband. See, it is the excitement that the " other man" gives her. If she really liked the large penis of the other male, I can bet she still thinks about it. I am not saying that she would go behind your back and do him again. I am just saying ....if it was that good....she will not forget about it.

    Now, if your wife keeps asking you to push her down on the bed and hold her arms behind her back and fuck her as hard as you can. I think you should do it for her as this is what she enjoys. It is a turn on for her. ( It is a role-play thing for her.) Don't let it fuck with your head. Think of it as you are giving your wife what turns her on. Don't worry about the size of your penis. You give her what she wants. Then, have her do something you like. Don't associate it with what the other guy did. It just happens to be something he did to her while he was fucking her and she liked it. Show her you can give her the same pleasure. Your wife had probably never had this done to her , and when it did happen, she liked it. Some women like to be "taken" by their man. If it would make you feel better to have the male back just so you can experience that with her, then do it. Although, if she has not been with this gentleman for a while and you open that door again, be prepared what can happen afterwards with your emotions, etc.

    I think right now, you and your wife should take time to share with each other what you would like her to do to you and she can tell you what she likes. If it is holding her down and taking her body...then do it. You should spent time exploring each others' bodies and fantasies together. Start from there and work in another person if you like.

    I think you also should really consider bringing in another female into your playtime for you. If you are allowing her a male to play with, you deserve a female to pay with. It is only fair. If she can have another penis in her, you should also be allowed to experience another vagina. Then, you watch how quickly things start to change. You both can be worried/experiencing emotions, etc instead of you being the only one. She will be the one thinking....."Hmmmmmmm, I hope he does not like the way she feels better than the way I feel." Keep things fair play. You play together with a male, then you should play with a female too.

    This is only my opinion, you do what feels right for you. I wish you the best. I hope it all works out for the best and you continue to enjoy pleasure together.


     
  5. pseudocognomen

    pseudocognomen New Member

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    I'm quite certain she'll remain faithful. We've been together for 22 years (she's 41 and I'm 48) and we've been through it all. We are truly soulmates and will be together for the rest of our lives. She's made it very clear that she has no interest in pursuing things if I'm not 100% certain about it. But I know she's hoping I will say yes to at least one more meeting with this guy. BTW, he's 30.

    Here are some screen caps I took from their first meeting on cam with me.
     

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  6. carlton10

    carlton10 Member

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    Just have another night with that guy and end it all-an dont do 3 ways for a while
     
  7. pseudocognomen

    pseudocognomen New Member

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    Thanks for the great comments and insightful observations.

    I agree that this guy isn't a suitable long term partner for us. He has his agenda and that's to get off with my wife as much as she'll allow. But you are also correct that she still thinks about it and so do I. We've always been full partners in these trysts prior to this episode. She understands my concern and wants to repeat it with me present so we can fully share it together. She's also very clear that she's happy to drop the whole business if it's causing me any distress. But part of my 'distress' is not having been part of the most intense sexual experience of her life, even as second fiddle (I'm okay with that, it's the current disconnect that troubles me).

    I understand the role-playing bit but it's quite obvious I'm not fulfilling the fantasy for her. I can then turn her over and bring her off several times in ways that I know she quite enjoys but I can't duplicate his role in the way she would like me too. She's indicated as much and that's what fucks with my head.

    It's funny that you mention me finding a woman to play with because that happened a few years ago shortly after we got the second house. My neighbor across the street was a 20yo college student that was house sitting her grandparents place. She and I became friends and during a freak winter storm she stayed with me one weekend when her power was out and I had a fireplace. Long story short, this girl said she would be into a threesome with me and my wife. With my wife's permission I played with the 20yo (I was 45 at the time and pretty proud of this!) but the threesome never materalized because she moved on before we could all three get together. My wife reminded me of that incident when I complained about the off-cam play with the big cock guy.

    You've given me a number of things to think about. Thanks!
     
  8. vindicari

    vindicari Member

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    my experience of this is actually a reversal of the mfm scenario my first wife and I tried wmw with her best friend and I. She had never tried anything like this before neither had I. Anyway it continued for a few months during which i noticed a gradual change in her attitude to me. It ended up with me coming home from work and she gone with her friend. they have been living to-gether ever since. Worst of all was she took my two sons whom i have not seen since. I suspect (though I hope Im wrong ) your marriage is finished, she has had something you cannot supply and that will play on her mind as it plays on yours. You need a serious sit down conversation and find out what are the priorities in your marriage. Is it the marriage, the friendship, companionship, mutual interests and the sex or is it just the sex. Sex is not the do all and end all of any relationship theres a little word with a big meaning seems to be missing, LOVE. I sincerely hope you can resolve your problem.
     
  9. carlton10

    carlton10 Member

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    I think ur wife was reallygetting into a role playing game of white woman being raped by a young hung "Mandingo" - and she tempararily got too much into it-
     
  10. curious4u2005

    curious4u2005 New Member

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    Hi Vindicari,

    I was reading your post to the above person. I am sorry things ended
    up like they have for you.

    My husband and I have been married for 12 years now. I am 32 and we have thought about things like this, but I think about what happened with you could happen with my relationship. I am from the south so my husband is the only one I have been with.
    So, the curiosity is there.

    The fact is if you "taste a fruit" you have never had before and you like it better, you might want to continue to eat it instead of the "fruit" you had before. Even if you love a person so much, the fulfillment of the other fruit might be too good to turn down.

    If you never know, you don't have anything to compare it to.

    I hope you will one day get to see and visit with your children again.


     
  11. dolfette

    Gold Member

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    maybe it's less about the guy and the size, more about her realising that she's into BDSM.

    lots of women don't realise they like it until something awakens the desire.

    buy some ropes/chains/cuffs, spank her arse for disobeying you, then hammer into her! maybe you'll enjoy yourself?
     
  12. kurios

    kurios Member

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    I dunno but I would think things have gone far enough
    Perhaps a narrow view but I suspect this is a recipe for disaster.
    Love or no love and sex apart you are being replaced and by the sound of things if you guys were both there atleast temporarily she would still want him.
    Probably just the novelty but if you continue playing stop being the third party and find an equivalent toy for yourself then sharing would become more eqitable.
    While she is trying to make you over like the other guy you could suggest she move more like your playmate
     
  13. JMeister

    JMeister Member

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    You can't duplicate his role in a way she wants you to because your cock is too small or because you don't have it in you to be a nasty play rape fucker?

    Obviously if it's the first one you'll need to get over it. If it's the second one you need to start thinking differently. Remember sex is mostly in the brain (at least for me it is)
     
  14. Paul Vincent

    Paul Vincent <img border="0" src="/images/badges/member.gif" wi

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    I agree. When you condone playing away, and think that a webcam somehow keeps her loyal, things are a bit fucked up. It's very rare that threesomes and inviting others into the bedroom doesn't destroy relationships and marriages.

    She probably wants this guy, at least for company while you're away. You can hardly blame her when it was your idea. I would never agree to something like this myself. It's madness.

    My worst nightmare is having to share a girl with another man. MMF isnt sharing her, its more a team sport. But when they're having sex when you're not there and not playing by your rules, you're sharing her and sounds like the time and sex you get with your wife is less than this other guy gets.

    I would just stop the threesomes, or concede my wife to the other guy.
     
  15. joe_smith

    joe_smith New Member

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    I don't have too much to say that hasn;t already been said, but I'll say again that the rule should have been clear from the start. It is very hard to through rules in as you go. If they were clear from the start and she acted outside of them then in my opinion she cheated plain and simple. Do with that what you will. Just my two cents.

    Pandora's box man, Pandora's box.
     
  16. ~quicksilver~

    ~quicksilver~ New Member

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    Apart from anything emotionally....It's kind of worrying that he doesn't appear to be wearing a condom in the pics that you posted....
     
  17. trufitjock

    trufitjock Member

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    These Are The Chances And Challenges You Take In An Open Relationship..
     
  18. AverageJoe06

    AverageJoe06 New Member

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    Sorry, but I disagree with that. Sometimes it does clearly, but there are plenty of couples out there who enjoy a perfectly healthy relationship in the lifestyle. I know because I'm in one of them, and lots of couples that we play with are equally happy. It's simply a question of establishing ground rules that everybody can be happy with.

    That's not to say that there haven't been ugly moments of jealousy and nastiness.... I've already written about one recently, and I'm about to describe another that I think is relevant to this situation. The first time I saw my g/f take a really huge penis in front of me, I completely freaked out at how she reacted. The guy was easily 10 honest-to-god inches, and we had been talking beforehand about how large he was, and we were both looking forward to the experience.

    Unfortunately, all was not well in our relationship at that point in time, as we had been split up for a while and were just patching things up and getting back together. In hindsight, we had no business trying it at that time, but we just didn't know any better because we were new. We met with the other couple and their guy friend for a total of 3 men and 2 women. I was ostensibly to play with the wife while the husband played with my g/f, but it didn't quite work out that way. The wife didn't seem very interested in me, and it really ended up with my g/f and the husband being the stars of the show and everybody else watching them.

    I had never seen such reactions from her. He initially bent her over the back of the couch and prepared to take her from behind, and she was begging him not to hurt her and please be careful. That caught me off guard. After some time on the couch, we all moved to the bed, where they continued the show like never before. She was screaming and moaning in a way that I had never heard before, and I was beginning to feel increasingly inadequate. Any man who has ever been in that situation knows exactly the sick feeling I'm talking about.

    It eventually got to the point where I got up and went in the other room to sit down because I didn't want to see any more. It was very clear to everybody that I wasn't having a good time, and in a few minutes my g/f came in and asked if I was OK. I said not really and told her why, and then there was a big fight about it in front of everybody. (Liberal alcohol consumption that night didn't help things any.)

    The night was over at that point, leaving everybody with a bad experience. I came away from that experience with several lessons, the most important of which is be careful what you wish for. I had always thought it would be hot to see her take a big one, but in reality it made me sick (physically) for weeks because I wasn't ready emotionally to handle it. The second lesson I learned is that if you -as a couple - are going to make it work, you both have to be crystal clear about what you want from the experience and what you expect in terms of ground rules. My suggestion would be open communication about it.

    These things are very complicated because they play to such deep-seated emotions and fears that in many cases we don't understand it ourselves, much less explain it to anybody else. But one thing is clear to me: If you are uncomfortable with the situation, don't be afraid to speak up and say so. If you don't like it, put a stop to it and don't feel obligated to let it keep going on just because your wife wants it. If anybody is uncomfortable, the deal has to be off. Otherwise you will end up divorced.

    If your wife really loves you - and it sounds like she does - she should understand your feelings. Mine did, although it took a long time for us to get past this experience and get to a place where we could really both enjoy it together. Now it's just a thing in our past, and we can laugh about it, but if we hadn't really talked about it and tried to understand each other's feelings, it could very well have been the end of our relationship right there.

    Talk to her, and if you can't agree on some ground rules, you don't need to be doing it.
     
  19. pseudocognomen

    pseudocognomen New Member

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    Wow! So many great replies. I was nervous about posting this in a public forum but now I'm very glad I did. You've all given me a lot to think about. Thank you.

    My wife and I are very much in love. That's never been in question and most of the time we prefer lovemaking to sex for its own sake, if that makes sense. But we both have strong sex drives and sometimes we just like the raw experience. We have a good collection of toys and enjoy some light bonadage (dildos, vibrators, nipple clips, crops, wrist cuffs, blindfold, etc) and she's always enjoyed some light spanking.

    What caught me off guard, and what I'm not able to replicate for her is the intensity of fucking to the point she feels like she's being 'raped'. We have discussed it and she admits that it was the brute force of his size that made her feel that way. And she was just as surprised as I was that she even had this rape fantasy in her psyche. I've given her several rough fuckings since then and she's enjoyed it but the intensity falls far short of what he did to her. And we're both aware of that. We even bought a very large dildo but that's just not the same as the real thing. She says it's okay and I shouldn't worry about it. But, of course, I do and can't seem to get it out of my head.

    I've never had a problem watching her with another guy and the fact that he had a huge cock isn't threatening to me either. The first day when they were on cam I was really enjoying it and still felt great about it afterwards. The off-cam activity was a problem and she now recognizes that. She's agreed to strictly abide by that rule if we were to resume this with anyone.

    The biggest problem I'm having right now is that she's had this extremely intense experience and I wasn't part of it... even as an observer. That's why I'm tempted to invite him back and repeat the whole thing. I want this to be something we've shared together just like all of our other sexual play. I guess if she said he was a 'good fuck' instead of 'the best fuck of her entire life' I might have an easier time just letting it all go. We've shared a lot of'good fucks' together over the years.

    The other problem I'm having is a trust issue but I'm inclined to give her the benefit of the doubt. When we were talking about the off-cam issue and 'restrictions' she eventually made a comment that she was so swept away by the experience that her usual good judgement left her for a bit. Funny that someone used the phrase 'Pandora's Box' because that's exactly the reference she made! She says she wouldn't let it go that far again but 'once bitten, twice shy' as they say.

    For now, we've stopped any activity with others. We know we'll start again in time because we both enjoy it so much. But how, when, and with who remains to be seen. We need to get our heads on straight before crossing the bridge again. Discussing this here has helped me tremendously in that regard.

    A side note: Someone commented about the lack of condoms. She had her tubes tied after our second child was born so birth control is a non-issue. We're very careful about playing safe. The reason we didn't meet this guy until several days after we agreed to it was so that he could get tested and provide us a clean bill of health. We were hoping he was going to be a long-term partner (like our previous MFM friend) and his insistence on playing safe was a key deciding factor for us. And I know this might piss off a few people, but this guy is married and, no, his wife wasn't aware of what was happening. We don't pry into the personal relationships of anyone we hook up with but we prefer sex partners that are in steady relationships to those that are out bed hopping.
     
  20. pseudocognomen

    pseudocognomen New Member

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    Male

    Great comments and I agree with almost everything you said. I'm sorry to hear of your bad experience (as quoted) but for me it's quite the opposite. I LOVE hearing her moan and writhe in ecstasy when we're with others. It's very easy for me to project myself onto the other person almost as if I'm the one doing it to her. There's just something so intimate about that and she likes to look me right in the eyes when she's in the midst of it.

    Some years ago we organized a gangbang with her, me, and three other guys. Before this most recent guy, THAT way the most intense sexual experience of her life. We only did it the one time because it's such a pain in the ass to find the right group of guys that are all tested safe and so on. But we've re-lived that event many many times in our sex talk. Thinking back on it, maybe that should have been a clue to this rape fantasy. We've both always thought it was that she just really loves cock.
     
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