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poptarts

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Hey, so I know this is stupid/ that I'm stupid for allowing myself to get to this situation but anyways here it goes:

A year ago, I started working for a company and began training. The woman who trained me (a year younger than me) turned out to be one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen (you know, the type that makes you catch your breath...I know how cheesy it is, but when I see her every morning it brightens my day). It didn't hurt either when I found out we went to the same school together, and that she's incredibly, incredibly intelligent. We also share a great deal of personality characteristics. Over the past year, we've become extremely close. We get lunch together every day, text/talk all day during work and after, and also spend a great deal of time hanging out after work. I don't think I've actually spent alone time with one woman to the extent that I spend it with her.

Now here's the part where I'm an idiot: Naturally, this girl has a boyfriend. Not only that; she lives with this boyfriend. She's heading off to grad school this June, most likely, and has told me she's only ever gotten into long term relationships. She also has mentioned before how she doesn't see her current boyfriend being a serious thing. He of course doesn't like me, because I hang out with her so much.

I've never made any sort of move on this friend. I DO NOT want to be a home wrecker, or fuck up my chances of being with her down the road. I literally could see myself going really far with her. But for now, everything action I've made has only been on the friendship level, I've not pushed it further even when there were chances (for holiday party, all of us had our own hotels, she was in mine, alone and we were drinking).

Here's the thing; she's going to be leaving work/I will too, in the next few months. I'm not going to have that everyday rapport with her, which will be really saddening for both of us (we talked about it). Do I tell her how I feel? Or should I continue this, as we both promised to hang out with each other even when we're gone and bide my time?

I don't want to miss out with this girl. I hate saying 'she's the one', but honestly I never tire of her, and at the rate that we hang out, it seems she finds me the same. Sorry for bothering you with all this, but I'm just reaching out.

Thanks
 

poptarts

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She's looked up a girl I told her I wanted to go out with that I thought was a nice, and made negative comments. She never wants to hear about girls I've hooked up with, and she gets possessive when I show more interest in other girls at work. It's not so much a "are we having lunch today?" type of relationship where as it's "what are we having for lunch today?" if you take my meaning (not that example, but intent). I've a fair feeling she likes me, our coworkers always make fun of us ("when are you two going to hook up, blah blah"). I've a feeling she would tell me she's attracted to me if I told her. But like I said, I don't want to be "that guy" who prised a girl away from someone else.
 

LaFemme

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I wouldn't make a move, but before she leaves I'd probably say, "if you're ever free, I'd be open to taking our relationship further."

Personally, I'd find that statement non-threatening to our friendship, yet intriguing enough to think about if it was something I secretly wanted. It puts the ball casually in her court without too much pressure without an ultimatum, especially as the two of you cannot be together due to her situation and physical location.

My 2 cents anyway.
 

Betty_Cocker

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I think you should say it just like LaFemme suggested! That's perfect. That way she knows how you feel about her, but also that you are respectful of her current situation.

I have a feeling she'd like to take it further too, but ... like you, I'd not want to be a 3rd wheel or "that guy" who came between a girl and her guy.
 

poptarts

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Thank you very much for the response Betty, I agree, I have a feeling there's something, but it's just not the right time. I think I'm going to go with the advice you both have offered and I greatly appreciate you taking some time to give it to me.

Lol Patchos...I think I'm going to go for a different approach, but appreciated all the same.
 

Mercurygirl

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Tell her. Live your life in the moment.

From your post it's obvious she also has feelings for you. What those feeling are only she knows. However she is certainly letting you know just by the amount of time she spends with you that she think you're special. You're important to her. By no means spill your heart out and put the poor girl on the spot but certainly express how you wish things were different because you really enjoy spending time with her. Then leave it at that. Let her live her life, continue to be her friends, allow her to decide, and who knows? Maybe someday right?

The way you speak of her how could you possible just let her walk? As deep as your heart is invested I'd say that be a difficult regret to live with.
 

poptarts

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Thank you Mercury, and once again, all of you, for your advice. I'm most definitely going to say something. I think I'll go for something light, as you've suggested, nothing heavy and over-the-top, but just enough for her to know that I'd like to pursue this further if she ever becomes available. I have to say something though, I know that now. It's wonderful to have an anonymous board such as this where you can come and vent out the things that make you feel the most vulnerable lol. Thank you again.
 

Betty_Cocker

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Thank you Mercury, and once again, all of you, for your advice. I'm most definitely going to say something. I think I'll go for something light, as you've suggested, nothing heavy and over-the-top, but just enough for her to know that I'd like to pursue this further if she ever becomes available. I have to say something though, I know that now. It's wonderful to have an anonymous board such as this where you can come and vent out the things that make you feel the most vulnerable lol. Thank you again.

:grinning-smiley-003 a big part of why pple come to this "big dick site"