To a greater or lesser degree, we all have deal makers/breakers when it comes to how and with whom you'd have sex with someone. I break these down into three categories based on how rigidly these rules apply to my selection-making process. Criteria are things which must be met before any sexual contact is considered and are non-negotiable. Preferences are attributes/traits that figure strongly into my selections, but are all, to one degree or the other, flexible: none are absolute in and of themselves. Limits are individual acts which are off the table, regardless of how many of the criteria and preferences are otherwise met. My own limits are not subject to negotiation, though I find many people will state a specific limit only to wind up bending/breaking them during a specific encounter: I push limits, but never break them without specific permission. Each person has every right and responsibility to set these as s/he sees fit, review them from time to time to re-assess what makes sense logically for themselves, and alter them with experience and changes in one's situations (location, health issues, etc). Mine are mine: yours are yours. I do not want this to turn into a judgment quest and would hope that anyone who chooses to respond to this thread does so as frankly and with as much honesty as possible. I understand that by posting this, I am setting myself up for a variety of criticisms, especially among n00bs and/or those who didn't follow my first few hundred posts, when I was generally more open about the nature of my own sexuality and how I choose to express it. Please bear in mind that I am not advocating anything, only telling the truth regarding my own sexual expression. Feel free to disagree with me (or anyone else who posts here), but try and maintain as open and clear a mind as possible. Here are my criteria: 1) The person must be HIV+; 2) The person must be a submissive bottom (male or female), at least in our interactions; 3) The person must be open to a range of "extreme" play, to be determined by his/her limits, but vanilla just doesn't work for me any more; 4) The person must be truthful, open and honest in all matters of communication; if I cannot trust them I will not deal with them on any level, let alone fuck them. Here are my preferences: 1) He should be modestly endowed, and unless overwhelmingly desirable should be uncircumcised; 2) He or she should be somewhere between 5' and 5'10; I am not attracted to tall people generally; 3) He or she should be height/weight proportionate, preferably with a physique that seems more natural than gym-obsessed; 4) He or she should be possessed of a clear and curious mind: I do not find "cute but dumb" attractive; 5) He or she should be somewhere between 30 and 55 unless otherwise extremely compelling in other ways. Here are my limits: 1) I am a strictly non-versatile top and do not use condoms; I rarely if ever find any interest in or play with my ass in any way desirable; 2) I do not perform scat in any form or fashion; 3) Everything must be entirely consensual by both parties; 4) Though personally deeply ambivalent regarding monogamy, if a relationship is mutually-agreed upon as monogamous, a discussion regarding any opening of the relationship must be had and agreed to mutually in its entirety before any extra-relationship sex occurs. As stated above, these are mine. What are yours?