Criteria, Preferences & Limits

[Remington]

For the moment...

Criteria:

-At least 21 years of age
-Female
-Not homophobic, racist or have any other dumbass prejudices
-Funny
-Pleasant to be around
-Intelligent
-Witty
-Trustworthy
-Reasonably healthy. (Not grossly overweight or underweight)
-Employed
-Secure mentally and financially.
-Mentally mature.
-Practices safe sex.
-STD free
-No "hard" drugs, or a drug abuser.

Preferences:

-At least 5'6
-Voluptuous
-Likes anything automotive
-Likes firearms
-Likes video games
-Fitness minded.
-Musician
-Tattooed
-Open minded
-Not a parent/No kids

Limits:

-Racist, homophobic, or generally prejudiced
-No scat, beastaliaty, pedophilia, necrophilia or any other 4chan worthy shit:sour:
-Ignorant
-Under 21
-Unpleasant
-Abusive
-Weak
-Drug abusive
-Untrustworthy
-Extremely unhealthy
-Criminal

All I can think of, at the moment.

 

[B_Nicodemous]

I will answer (but most likely after the weekend, when I have had some time to put some thought into it)

I will apologise in advance for the length of my future post:tongue: (those of you who have read my posts or have PM'd with me will know that this warning is warrented, lol)

 

[B_Nicodemous]

Ok, so I was trying for a few days to really list these things in some semblance of order. I found that some things that I would consider criteria slipped down to preferences depending on if the person was just a FB or FWB that I saw irregularly, or was a NSA one nighter. I have tried to note that when it came up.

Thanks in advance for bearing with me :redface::tongue:

Criteria:
-HIV Neg, STD free.
-Male.
-Cannot be racist.
-Cannot have misogynistic ideas.
-Must have good hygiene (inside and out).
-Must smell good (some people have great hygiene but a neutral smell. I am very much sent driven so I require a scent that I find alluring. There is really no rhyme or reason to it either, so I won't be able to list it here. I just know what does it for me, with what partners. The ones who have a scent that drives me wild are the ones who quickly find themselves elevated from occasional fuck buddy to something more)
-Must be able to kiss (if they are a one nighter I could care less and this is a preference. If they are a once in a blue moon hook-up, and they have some other redeeming quality, like killer foot rubs, an awesome ass, gorgeous cock, killer calves, etc, I can overlook it and it also becomes a preference)
-Must be willing to cuddle after sex. I don't care if you are just a one night fling, I NEED that post coital clench. I especially need it if the sex has been rough.
-Cannot shy away from being entangled with me as we sleep. This applies to anyone who is a FB on the brink of LTR or LTR. It will not progress without that. I hate waking up and there being two feet of empty bed between us. Unless it's hot and the A/C is on the blink. Then feel free to keep some distance!
-Can't mind my tendency to be a bed hog in the early stages. I stretch out in my sleep. Sorry. Best bet is to put me on whatever side of the bed is against the wall. If the bed is not against the wall you may want to move it so it is. I will roll towards that and stay there. If I am not, I will gently, but firmly keep rolling and pushing until you find yourself on the floor. The adjustment period is only a few overnighters, and then I am fine, but a person needs to be able to deal with it until then. Entangling me in an embrace solves the problem, nicely to.
-Has to be caring, kind, and compassionate.
-Can't be douche bag, asswipe, or overconfident cocky "god's gift" type persona. These people and there ilk will be shown the door. Serious offenders will run the risk of their clothes thrown after them, possibly sans money in their wallets for wasting my time. Confident is sexy. Take charge thrills me. Being a domineering, "do me" person? No thanks.
-Needs to understand that I am vers in the truest sense. I NEED to be able to flip fuck. Simple as that. Earlier in my career I would go through phases of bottom or top vers, but nowadays I require both aspects to be fulfilled. Those who can't meet these will be relegated occasional FB, where this can be preference.
-Must not give me grief if work or family obligations force me to reschedule. I have a life outside of you, people, deal with it. I will give plenty of advance notice if I have to cancel (barring illness) so stop whining and bitching. I will be understanding if you need to, and expect the same.
-Must be VERBAL! I am not expecting you to recite Shakespeare, but for fucks sake I do expect some genuine moans, grunts, growls, whimpers, barks, hisses, maybe a "You like that?", "Harder", "Take it bitch", "Oh god!", "You like being my slut don't you", "Oh god, slow down!", or anything that pops into your head would be nice. And please: no rehearsed lines. The previous lines sound hot when said in the heat of things and cheesy when they sound like they are being delivered buy a sad porn star in training desperately trying to remember the two lines of dialogue they were given.
-Must have some kink or be open to explore outside the main. I love vanilla, don’t get me wrong, but it gets boring after a while. So please have some kink or fetish that you can bring to the table and don't shy away from mine or treat me like freak for my peccadilloes. Of course not all things are right for all people, but there is enough out there to where we are bound to land n one that both of us are or can be into.
-Stamina. Either you have to last an incredibly long time without cumming, or have a short refractory time. I expect to get a week’s workout form a fuck.
-Flexible.
-Strong. If you can lift me into various positions, all the better, though that is a preference.
-Natural body hair. In this case whatever hair you possess, be it almost smooth or hairy. I am not into shaved. I like men, not boys.
-Must enjoy being rimmed, and rimming.
-Cannot cheat on me. If we are in a totally closed relationship, just ask me if we can open it some instead of running around behind my back.
-Needs to be up to pushing each others limits, while respecting them.

Preferences:
-I prefer dicks in the 4 1/2 to 71/2 length range. I won't turn down a guy for being outside either end of this range. My current guy is about 8 (he curves left so I am splitting the difference between the shorter side and longer) and while sometimes (especially in positions that don't accommodate his curve easily) can be a challenge, it not a deal breaker. I have been with longer though they rarely make it past once in a while fuck.
-Girth in the range of 4.5-6.5 inches. This is mostly for ease of deep-throating you with out teeth. Not sure how I feel about under 4.5, but I will never say never as I haven't tried one that thin.
-Freckles. This is a recent preference due to my Guy having a spattering across his nose that I find adorable and sexy.
-Green, hazel or mid to light brown eyes. Blue if they are ice blue, or deep blue. I won't turn down dark brown eyes, but having them myself, the mystique is gone from them for me.
-Hairy! OMG! I love hairy chests, asses, legs, pubes...
-Full lips.
-A penchant for biting, nibbling, and sucking my lips and tongue.*pleasant shivers*
-Willing to scratch me. Hard. Here is an experiment: Go get a pair of denim on. Go on, I'll wait... Good now rake your nails as hard as you can across it in different directions. Found the one that produces the most gruesome sound? Good. That is the sound I better to hear when being scratched. Not always, but damn it, it better sound a few times.
-Showers. Has to be open to showering together occasionally. I don't need it all the time (nor want it. Sometimes that is my only downtime and I want to just relax) but when the mood hits, hopefully it hits us both.
-Can cook!
-Has pets or are open to having them if we were to move in together.
-Anime/Manga freak.
-Comic/Graphic novel geek.
-On the heavier side. I like a man with meat on them. Ideally a wide shouldered muscular base under the fat.
-If they are thin and thin shouldered, at least let them be taller than me with a long torso. I find that hot.
-Taller or shorter than me. The greater the difference the hotter I find it, though my Guy is the exception (We are almost the same height, and I love it).
-Over 27.
-Beefy asses! Even if they are thin, I want an ass I can possibly smother my self in. I was with a slim guy who rode horses and had the best ass. You could write poems about it!
-Likes to restrain me, especially by the throat. Not choking, but firm pressure on the sides combined with moving my head where you want it in a firm manner is hot. Holding with the palm against my throat, thumb and index finger putting pressure on my lower mandibles (like your are restraining a gator) really turns me on! Arms across throat work too.
-Pull hair, especially in conjunction with above.

Limits:
I find limits break down between hard limits (you will never break and can never see yourself breaking) and soft limits (maybe you have fantasized but you haven't found the right situation, or are ambivalent) I shall list then as such.

Hard Limits:
-No children (under 18)
-No dead people (necorphiliacs need not apply)
-No animals.
-No scat.
-No blood play/mutilation.
-No slapping my face. I don't like it, and unless you want my fist in yours, don't do it. Some people like it, and I respect their desires, but it is not for me.
-No forced gagging. I love gagging myself and will let my Guy know when he can go to town. But don't surprise me with it and ignore my request to stop unless you want vomit on your cock. For those who would want that, let me throw out there that I will bite down on the offending intruder, hard, well before I feel like I am going to puke in an effort to stop it. I hate throwing up.
-No vomit. Accidents happen, but I don't want the goal to be puke on either side.
-No handcuffs. I had a really bad experience with them. In fact they were used by the person who date reaped me, so unless you want me to freak out on you to the point where I won't be held responsible for what may happen to you if you decide to push the issue, leave the cuffs out of the equation.
-No punching me while you are fucking me. I don't like it. If I am topping you, feel free to hit my chest, legs, whatever. But don't do that while you are in me.
-No choking/asphyxiation (me)
-No gags.
-No branding or burning of any kind.
-No sounding (me).

Soft Limits:
-No one hard core D/s. I am as fluid in the D/s area as I am in regards to Top/Bottom. I switch form sub bottom to power bottom calling the shots rapidly and the same when I am topping. I can't be with a person who lives in the one space for more than a FB situation.
-No hardcore bondage. I like some bondage (sans metal handcuffs, feel free to restrain me in other ways though) just not sure how far I want to go (or if I want to go farther at all)
-No SM. Obviously I enjoy some pain. I like when my dick beds weird when my Guy is riding me and it hurts in that way that screams pleasure. I love being scratched, and punched, and bit. But I am not sure if I will venture further in or if I do when I will. Hence why I put it under soft limits.
-WS. I haven't gotten into it though might not be adverse to it (though not in the mouth. That holds no appeal. Doesn't gross me out, just doesn't appeal to me. The way Lime Gatorade fails to appeal to me)
-Spitting. Not in the face though I am turned on my vids where they spit into each others mouths, so again, soft limit.
-Fisting (receive). I can't say that one day I won't ant to try it. Though not with my Guy, at least not right of the bat. He has huge ham hands that do not fold down and are like, 13 inches or so in circumference!

I am probably forgetting something in each category, but I wanted to post this tonight. I will add if I remember more.

 

[B_subgirrl]

Interesting isn't a word I would use. But anyway, nothing has really changed much. Though I want a relationship more than I want sex right now. So hook ups aren't really that appealing to me right now. Not that I would shoot down an offer if I was attracted to them, but it's definitely not something I'm really interested in seeking out.

Thanks for the update :smile:. I think the fact that your list hasn't changed shows how well you understand yourself.

Most not include the words Korn, Slipknot, Blink182 and good music and/or metal in the same sentence.

That disqualifies me :tongue:

Geek of some description - No VB geeks, I have no respect for you!

What's VB? When I think of VB, I think of this: VB - The Best Cold Beer | Official Site for Victoria Bitter

Thanks in advance for bearing with me :redface::tongue:

A typical Nico post :tongue:. So much of what you said resonated with me. I'll PM you about it or before long we'll be posting half page answers to each other :biggrin1:.

 

[B_subgirrl]

Limits:
1) The usual - no children, animals, or dead people.
2) No scat or golden showers.
3) I am completely incapable of being anything but a sub.
4) No rimming (giving - receiving is fine)

I probably have more limits than this but can't think of more at the moment.

Reading Nico's list made me finally think of something else I need to add to my limits - sounding. I can't fathom why people would find it enjoyable, and the idea of doing it OR having it done to me gives me the heebies. Mind you, I reserve the right to change my mind at a later date (unlikely as that seems right now).

 

[B_Nicodemous]

Agh! How could I have forgotten my on of my most needed criteria!

-Must be willing and able to suck, nibble, bite, flick, pinch, twist, etc. my nipples! I could care less if your nipples are sensitive or not. If they are, great, but if they aren't, well as long as you are paying attention to mine, I will just have to deal.

Oh and two more for preferences!

-I like someone who whispers in my ear as they fuck me. I get off on the sensation of their breath in my ear, as well as what they are saying in whispered, panting, and grunts. I need a mix of the nastiest talk combined perfectly with the tenderest of sentiments. Again I can credit this to my Guy, who turned me on to that. I explain it in this thread, though I should note that the left ear is now more sensitive to this than the right, and indeed, him whispering in my left ear sends a pleasant sustained shiver down the left side of my back, to that nice e-zone on my lower back. Fuck! Just thinking about it makes that happen!

-Massage. I love giving and getting them. If you can give a deep tissue massage of my trapezius muscles, I will worship you and be puttty in your hands. Foot rubs will also do this:biggrin1:

I can't believe I failed to include these before My only excuse is that I was so determined to list all of the points that were coming into my head, that I just assumed I had already included these.:redface:

 

[B_subgirrl]

-I like someone who whispers in my ear as they fuck me. I get off on the sensation of their breath in my ear, as well as what they are saying in whispered, panting, and grunts. I need a mix of the nastiest talk combined perfectly with the tenderest of sentiments. Again I can credit this to my Guy, who turned me on to that. I explain it in this thread, though I should note that the left ear is now more sensitive to this than the right, and indeed, him whispering in my left ear sends a pleasant sustained shiver down the left side of my back, to that nice e-zone on my lower back. Fuck! Just thinking about it makes that happen!

Ooooh, me too! Although it's probably my right ear that's more sensitive. For me it's definitely criteria, rather than preferences, if the sex is to be good.

 

[Bbucko]

Sorry I've been neglecting this thread. I'll reply to Remington and Nicodemous76 in the next day or so. I've been very distracted lately.

 

[Voyperd]

Really interesting thread. Enlightening and food for thought.
Got me thinking what are my criteria, preferences and limits as well..
Please don't judge me if something's not lining up with what you like.

Criteria:
- 27+ years old, less than 58.
- HiV-/STD free.
- Use of condoms.
- Dominant. Not arrogant.
- Smart with everything that includes.
- Pleasant, aka, we get along, I don't like pointless drama.
- Living alone or with house-mates, living with parents it's a big NO even I'm dying for them.
- As Bbucko mentioned, he/she must be open to a range of extreme playing, I don't mind vanilla, some times I even like it but it's not really my cup of taste.
- And again as Bbucko mentioned, he/she must be truthful, open and honest in all matters of communication. I'm a unique snowflake, if I don't trust them, I can't fuck them.
- If it's a male; a) body hair. I would absolutely no function if he doesn't have any body hair, either because of his age, gens, waxing or anything else b) shoulders! I'm addicted to them, I want them wide, either by building or nature, don't really care.
- If it's a female; it'll sound weird but I have a thing of how her vagina will look, can't really explain it. Of course that's something I can't know from the start but if she's not of my taste, sadly I'll lose any appetite I might have for her in sex.

Preferences:
- Non native. I really don't like men/women of my country for a variety of reasons.
- High sex drive.
- Male; hung, at least average. I had the honour to be with gifted men so..Bigger the better. Nothing can replace this wonderful feeling of 'closing down' and being so tight after a rough fuck with a large big cock.
- Female; waxed/shaved, in general, hairless armpits.
- Taller than me. And bigged than me.
- Healthy body, I don't mind an average or slightly overweight body or even a build-like-a-trunk body but I do mind an unhealthy body.
- Employed and can afford his/her expenses.
- Enjoying art, either in the form of reading or watching a play or anything related.
- Likes cuddling after sex.
- Likes drugged sex once in a while (drugs in the means of pot, pills, dust -nothing too heavy like heroin- and alcohol).

Limits:
- No doormat. I like going out even if it's just for a walk.
- No vomit. I don't mind gagging and throwing up on your cock, hand or whatever else you want me to but don't expect me to do it in command.
- No dead people. I don't like corpses.
- No animals. We can fantasize, we can talk about bestiality but I don't think I'll be ever able to do it.
- No forcing, in the means that you're crossing the line, I'll do whatever you want me to do until you don't understand that NO really means NO.
In case something like this will happen, I'll do whatever you want me to do and then I'll get the fuck out of there.
- Never dare to ask me for a threesome, 4some et cetera with friends or people I know. I have no problem going into a club and leaving with another couple or person but I do have a problem if you tell me that you want to fuck my friends.
- I don't mind watersports or scat, in fact I like them, but there's absolutely no way that I'll do something that involves them in public.
- No children. Enough said. Not even as a fantasy.
- No relatives. No, I'm not going to fuck your brother/mother/sister/dad/uncle et cetera. Again not even as a fantasy.
- No leash in public. No humiliation in public.
- No cheaters. In case you cheat on me while we're in a relationship, I'll mindfuck you so much that you'll regret it.
- Absolutely non-sense TV talk. I don't own a TV, I never really watched it and if I do, is for specific series, programs. If you're watching more than 1-2 hours TV each day, I'll wave you goodbye.
- Not a game hater. I play MMORPGS, I play board games heck! I even RP sometimes, I want someone who likes to do the same or at least likes them.

I think that's all after almost 7 years of being sexually active. Kind of long list, sorry for this wall of text. :redface:

 

[B_New End]

Some of these lists are long, but my list is probably about 10 times as long.

Hence, I am never having sex again, more than likely.

 

[basincreek]

Hmmm

-Female
-age 18-45
-std free
-prefer brunettes and redheads
-prefer shorter women 4'11" to 5'3"
-should be somewhat geeky
-should be open minded about sex
-cannot be a bigot
-prefer non-religious
-dislike tatoos
-some piercings are okay but not if they are overdone
-prefer athletic/lean bodies
-non drinker preferred but will make allowances provided she doesn't overdo it or expect me to drink
-prefer non-smoker
-no illicit hard drug use (pot is okay)
-no scat or pee play
-nothing illegal

That about does it for me.

 

[B_Nicodemous]

Some of these lists are long, but my list is probably about 10 times as long.

Hence, I am never having sex again, more than likely.

Regardless of if you are ever having sex again, I would like to see this list! Mine was fairly long, and I it would be nice if once in a blue moon my posts weren't the longest! LOL:tongue:

Hmmm

-Female
-age 18-45
-std free
-prefer brunettes and redheads
-prefer shorter women 4'11" to 5'3"
-should be somewhat geeky
-should be open minded about sex
-cannot be a bigot
-prefer non-religious
-dislike tatoos
-some piercings are okay but not if they are overdone
-prefer athletic/lean bodies
-non drinker preferred but will make allowances provided she doesn't overdo it or expect me to drink
-prefer non-smoker
-no illicit hard drug use (pot is okay)
-no scat or pee play
-nothing illegal

That about does it for me.

Grrr! Bas! You didn't catagorize them! :tongue:

 

[Drifterwood]

I've been meaning to attempt this one for a while. Here goes.

Criteria: Legal and willing. Though when I was fifteen, I did have sex with my fifteen year old GF. Consent is sixteen in the UK. So if I am strictly going to keep to what I have done, then Willing, has been my only consistent criterion. Legal is now an absolute.

Limits: Given that animals, minors, dead people etc are illegal then they are covered by my criteria. I have never actually been asked to be involved in anything that I wasn't willing to try. No one has asked me to do scat, and I wouldn't want to go there.

Preferences: This is the hard one. I am going to answer in terms of a serious relationship, because I have been highly sexually inquisitive which basically means that preferences have often played little part in my sexual behaviour. This has meant that I don't have many preferences at all when it comes to casual sex, the experience is more important than personal preference. It has also meant that I am not picky about things that I have learned have little bearing on whether I will enjoy sex with someone.

Smart
Confident in themselves
Sexually liberated
Compassionate
Positive
I'd find it hard to be with a woman who didn't like a lot of cunnilingus.
I probably prefer women who work and are around my own age 30 - 50.
I am a sucker for a great ass, so that would be nice.
I'd prefer not to have size compatability issues.

That's about it.

 

[willow78]

My responses in red. Sorry it took so long to respond. I knew I'd have a few things I'd have to clear up so I took a week to write and re-write and re-write to make sure I was completely happy with my clarifications.

What would you say is the difference between being a daddy and being dominant? Also, there's a subtle but real difference between being a Dom and being dominant. Doms have a set repertoire, a bag of tricks if you like, that they bring to encounters, whereas being dominant is really just another way of needing to be in charge, whether as a top or as a bottom.

The difference – to me – is really in relationship/lifestyle preference. I was referring to daddy as a general term of affection for a older masculine man (30's, 40's, 50's) rather than a 'capital D' Daddy in terms of Dom/Sub play. I suppose a more appropriate term for what I'm looking for is a Bear/Cub relationship. I imagine B/C can sometimes include D/S but that depends on the people involved.

I'll also say that I have met several guys (generally of the versatile nature) who prefer (or at least don't discriminate against) getting fucked by modestly-hung guys, at least occasionally. Not everyone who gets penetrated is a size queen. If you're capable of achieving an erection then you can penetrate someone.

True, but the key phrase is modestly-hung, which I ain't. I'm just plain tiny. I'm sure I could penetrate someone – and it's something I would like to do – but if they like it 'long and deep', I can't deliver. I would like to indulge in frotting and rubbing and I would also like to be sucked– mine may be small but he demands as much attention as any big'un! - but giving it 'long and deep' just ain't possible. I'm hoping for someone who is not 'obsessed' with getting fucked.

Your list is interesting in that it's got some really specific character concerns rather than physical preferences. It's probably the least like my own of any that have been posted so far in that regard. This might well be because you're looking for a relationship, where I am primarily interested in hooking up, though if the right combination of factors happened, I wouldn't mind exploring something more intimate.



Having just reread this on the "reply" page, your list (and the haziness in differentiating between Criteria and Preferences) is much more understandable. I was gonna insert something above but it didn't seem appropriate; having read this, I'll add it here:

Though completely admirable and something to be encouraged, your focus on "relationship material" over something more casual will probably discourage potential beaux because it requires him to share your motivation from the get-go. Sometimes guys don't really know what they want until they've tried some of it. This is not a suggestion to lower any of your standards, merely to consider starting something (whether sexual or not) more casually than you've stated above.

This is a classic example of my poor articulation skills. Plus the thread is more about a 'list' rather than a 'school essay' (which I was never any good at!). I am looking for a serious relationship but I'm not the 'planning the wedding on the first date'-type person. I am a very delusional person but even I know you can't 'plan' a relationship. What I meant was I'm looking to make friends with a guy first and start dating with a view to something serious, rather than just 'hook-up' with someone. I'm not into games so I'd let a person know straight away that I'm looking for a friendship first and see what develops. But I'm not a “Hey, you're cute. MARRY ME!” psycho – despite my profile picture!

Of course, as a virgin, you'll want your first time to be especially (profoundly, even?) meaningful. Generationally and culturally you and I are very different; by the time I was 17, I was the last in my circle to have remained a virgin by well over a year. But the seventies, especially the late seventies, were a very different time. In the end, I held off until it seemed that my chances of scoring a home run the first time were too small to contemplate and I wound up just getting it over with with someone who, while gentle and caring, wasn't relationship material in any sense of the word, and represented a level of compromise I've rarely made since.

Virginity is my area of expertise, lol. For me, virginity at 17 was very different to virginity at 32. When I was 17, I wasn't looking for the 'full relationship'. My hormones were driving me crazy and I wanted to get laid. Not a random fuck, but like I said, not the full r-ship either. I thought that as I got older and the longer I waited, I would get more and more desperate. But over the past 15/16 years, I have found it to be quite the opposite. All my base physical/sexual needs can be handled by masturbation. What I crave at 32, are the things that masturbation can't provide: the intimacy of another man, the feel of his body next to mine, laying my head on his chest listening to his heartbeat, wrapping my arms around him, kissing and nuzzling the back of his neck, his deep voice (another preference) whispering in my ear romantically (or filthily!), staring into his face when we're in bed together, snuggling up on a cold winter night, watching him shower.....I could go on forever. Anyway my point is, yes I'm a desperate old sexless freak, but I now crave a special relationship rather than just a special first time.


We get the clean part, Louise :biggrin1:

As to the rimming: there's no reason why you should do that as a bottom. Bottoms usually get a pass on eating ass. Depending on the context, a top can get away with it, too, especially if he hasn't supervised/taken part in the clean-up.

Once again, poor articulation on my part. It was never about being a defined top/bottom relationship or part of a 'scene', it's really just about me not being interested in some of the more 'intense' activites but if my man becomes curious about trying and exploring these things, I'm willing to be flexible but still set my limits. I'm sure there'll be things I want to explore too, but between us rather than joining a 'scene'.


I really don't think that WS or fisting is nearly as ubiquitous as many other folks do. It's generally within the confines of leather/BDSM play that you'll find anything but the vaguest curiosity about such things, and even then. Exploring kinks is an intensely personal decision, much like exploring drugs. Some people go their whole lives without delving into any of it, whether because they're risk-averse or because they're genuinely content playing deeply inside the margins. You'll know when the time is right or not to get your nails dirty.

As I said from (almost) the very beginning of my first post, I'm a virgin – all my preferences, criteria, whatever, come from pure fantasies. And most of my fantasies come from porn – hardly a reliable source for depicting realistic relationship/romance! So naturally, I'm going to seem a bit frazzled and confused.

I hope I've cleared a lot of things up. Or at least made a super-long post vaguely interesting to read.

P.S. - Reading through some of the other posts on this thread has reminded me of other preferences, desires, etc. that I forgot to mention earlier:
*Non-Religious preferred (but not essential)
*ABSOLUTELY NO horror fans (I'm a scaredy-cat!)
*Body art: Tattoos – no problem. But nothing too gruesome (see above reason). Piercings – PA's are a turn-off but others are okay as long as you don't have too many.
*Smokers – no thanks!

Some not so serious ones:
*No laughing at my dorky taste in music.
*No laughing when I tell you my favourite film of all-time is 'Xanadu' ('Citizen Kane' has a lot of things but it doesn't have Olivia Newton-John on rollerskates, FTW!)
*Must love Garfield
*There's a 70% chance I'll become a 'crazy old cat person' so pet-hair allergies could be problematic.

And of course, the obvious:
*No laughing and pointing when I'm naked.

 

[willow78]

Here's a rather serious one that had slipped my mind:

If you want to have/adopt a child/children, then I'm not for you. This is an ABSOLUTE. No matter how perfect or compatible we are, if you want to be a dad, move on. There are plenty of gay guys who would love to raise a family but I'm not one of them.

It may seem harsh to dump a guy just because he wants children but hear me out:

I have absolutely zero desire to be a parent. I simply do not care for children. So:

*If you really wanted one but we didn't have one, I'd feel bad because I knew I was stopping you from having something that would make you happy. And you would more than likely grow to resent me for it. We'd end up miserable and bitter and by the time we split up, it could be too late for you.to find someone who did want a family.

*If you really wanted one and we did have one, I would NEVER do anything to make that child feel unwanted but children are a lot smarter than people realise. No matter what I did, I'm sure the child would sense that I didn't really want to be a parent, could end up feeling unwanted and just really screwed up. And it would be all my fault.

People say relationships involve compromise but children aren't something you can compromise on. You either want them or you don't. There is no middle ground.

My point is, I'd rather dump a guy who wanted kids, than get involved and make him miserable or make a child miserable. Either way, I'd end up hurting someone.

It might seem selfish at first but hopefully you can see my point of view.

 

[willow78]

*sigh* Another clarification.....

What I meant was I'm looking to make friends with a guy first and start dating with a view to something serious, rather than just 'hook-up' with someone.

That's "view to something serious" as in "see what happens".....

 

[B_subgirrl]

I hope I've cleared a lot of things up. Or at least made a super-long post vaguely interesting to read.

It was definitely interesting! Like with Pendy's list, I'll be interested to see how (or if) your list changes once you've had more experience.

BC, the same goes for you.

Limits:
1) The usual - no children, animals, or dead people.
2) No scat or golden showers.
3) I am completely incapable of being anything but a sub.
4) No rimming (giving - receiving is fine)

I probably have more limits than this but can't think of more at the moment.

Reading Nico's list made me finally think of something else I need to add to my limits - sounding. I can't fathom why people would find it enjoyable, and the idea of doing it OR having it done to me gives me the heebies. Mind you, I reserve the right to change my mind at a later date (unlikely as that seems right now).

And yet another to add to the list - cervix fucking!!!!! No way will this ever, ever, ever be done to me. Ever. Ever. And if I ever found myself with a woman, I couldn't see myself doing it to her. Ever.

 

[basincreek]

It was definitely interesting! Like with Pendy's list, I'll be interested to see how (or if) your list changes once you've had more experience.

BC, the same goes for you.

What of mine do you think would change?

And what is sounding? I hope I'm not exposing too much of my ignorance there.

 

[B_Nicodemous]

What of mine do you think would change?

And what is sounding? I hope I'm not exposing too much of my ignorance there.

I don`t know which if any of yours will change. I think subgirrl is saying that, as experience sets in, we sometimes find ourselves redifining and shifting our criteria, preferences and, yes, even some limits. Pendlum has stated his hasn`t changed. Yet. They may never change, or only slightly. I will use myself as an example. When I was 18, I would have listed giving a rim job as a limit. Just wasn`t going to do it. Then at 19 I had a fling with a guy who was into it, freshly showered. hot as hell who said "come on, slobber up my ass" as a precursor to me getting ready to fuck him. That truned me on like nobody`s buisness and so I tenatively gave a quick flick, an d then when I realized that it wasn`t a bad thing got more bold, and by the end it had become one of my preferences. Now it is a criteria. So you also may in the heat of the moment feel the need to reevaluate your lists somewhat. Or maybe you won`t. But it is interesting to see what happens. :smile:

 

[B_Nicodemous]

Oh, as to what "sounding" is? It is the insertion of a rod (usually plastic or stainless steel) into the urethra for the express purpose of sexual stimulation. I don`t ever see myself being into this recieving wise, though if someone wanted me to do it to them, I would probably do it. To me though there is nothing sexually exciting in the thought of it being done to me, and in all honesty, not in the thought of doing it to someone else. aso if I did it to another person, it would be a very one way enjoymenbt transaction. It`s not that I find it disgusting, I just find it so non sexual and overly medically reminisant, that it bores me to tears in regards to it being done to others. In the sense of it being done to me, I think it would be uncomfortable at best, and so I have no desire to try it.