Criteria, Preferences & Limits

[B_subgirrl]

What of mine do you think would change?

I don`t know which if any of yours will change. I think subgirrl is saying that, as experience sets in, we sometimes find ourselves redifining and shifting our criteria, preferences and, yes, even some limits. Pendlum has stated his hasn`t changed. Yet. They may never change, or only slightly. I will use myself as an example. When I was 18, I would have listed giving a rim job as a limit. Just wasn`t going to do it. Then at 19 I had a fling with a guy who was into it, freshly showered. hot as hell who said "come on, slobber up my ass" as a precursor to me getting ready to fuck him. That truned me on like nobody`s buisness and so I tenatively gave a quick flick, an d then when I realized that it wasn`t a bad thing got more bold, and by the end it had become one of my preferences. Now it is a criteria. So you also may in the heat of the moment feel the need to reevaluate your lists somewhat. Or maybe you won`t. But it is interesting to see what happens. :smile:

Exactly what I was saying! For most us, criteria, preferences and limits shift over time and with experience.

When I was 18 (and already had 2 years of sexual experience under my belt), I had never heard of BDSM (except in the vaguest sense), it had never occurred to me that size might make a difference, and I wouldn't even have CONSIDERED doing anal or fisting (it would have been a very definite no if someone had asked). Now I'm a sub who likes them big, and loves anal and fisting. Things change.

Nico covered sounding pretty well I think :smile:

 

[kayman]

Here are my criteria:
1) Height/weight proportionate with a physically active lifestyle (gym, playing a sport, or outdoors/hiking etc.), non-smoker, & possess good personal hygiene.
2) If it is a guy, the person must be a top, in our interactions; I am a bottom and have absolutely no desire to topping any man
3) The person must be intelligent; I'm not too fond of being with someone that lack any desire to be well-informed or knowledgeable of what is going on in our world
4) Some one that is open and honest in all matters of communication; trust is key with me.
5) Must be emotionally and financially stable, I refuse to be in another relationship with another unstable of any matter individual

Here are my preferences:
1) He should be endowed and circumcised; being uncircumcised isn't a deal breaker but very good hygiene is key
2) He should be at least 5'7; I am not generally attracted to shorter guys
3) Preferably a natural physique with a solid chest with developed pecs (something to grab on to during sex) and relatively flat lower torso
4) Love to travel or open to traveling
5) He or she should be somewhere between 25 and 35; I've come to realize age can play a huge role in a relationship at this point in my life since I am still very nomadic
6) Black or of some heritage to the African diaspora; if the chemistry is right and compatible then I will be with that guy regardless of ethnicity or heritage

Here are my limits:
1) I am a strictly non-versatile bottom, safe sex must be exercised at all times
2) No scat, BDSM, or fisting
3) Monogamy must be exercised because I don't do open relationships at all
4) Be open to some sexual adventurousness such as strip teasing and role playing for one another

 

[MelbourneGirl]

Here are my criteria:

1) Fit and good personal hygiene.
2) Mainly (at least 90% Top), although must be open to me playing with his bum at least to some degree (minimum of rimming, best case scenario fisting)
3) Single or in an open relationship. I don't have sex with people who are cheating.
4) Condom use is mandatory, unless we've gone through all the steps required to enter a 'fluid-bonded' arrangement.
5) Reliable, turns up when he says he will
6) Interested in mixing up vanilla with extreme sex, also sometimes called edge play. This includes but isn't limited to; water sports, slapping / throttling, spitting.

Here are my preferences:

1) Circumcised or obsessively hygenic if not
2) Prefer men in the 30 - 40 age range, but make exceptions well above and below for men who have that certain 'je ne sais quoi'. It's all about the attitude.
3) I usually lean towards men with dark hair and darker skin, but it's not a deal breaker
4) Very high libido, a guy who likes to fuck for hours. I'm not interested in sex that's over in 20 minutes.
5) Being good at dirty talk is a bonus. I want you to tell me what a slut I am and how much you are going to enjoy violating my arse etc. Hearing a deep voice talking to me in a low measured tone always pushes me over the edge!


Here are my limits:

1) Consensual activity only
2) No scat, blood play or hard pain


Great thread, thanks Bucko!

 

[kayman]

Here are my criteria:
1) Height/weight proportionate with a physically active lifestyle (gym, playing a sport, or outdoors/hiking etc.), non-smoker, & possess good personal hygiene.
2) If it is a guy, the person must be a top, in our interactions; I am a bottom and have absolutely no desire to topping any man
3) The person must be intelligent; I'm not too fond of being with someone that lack any desire to be well-informed or knowledgeable of what is going on in our world
4) Some one that is open and honest in all matters of communication; trust is key with me.
5) Must be emotionally and financially stable, I refuse to be in another relationship with another unstable of any matter individual

Here are my preferences:
1) He should be endowed and circumcised; being uncircumcised isn't a deal breaker but very good hygiene is key
2) He should be at least 5'7; I am not generally attracted to shorter guys
3) Preferably a natural physique with a solid chest with developed pecs (something to grab on to during sex) and relatively flat lower torso
4) Love to travel or open to traveling
5) He or she should be somewhere between 25 and 35; I've come to realize age can play a huge role in a relationship at this point in my life since I am still very nomadic
6) Black or of some heritage to the African diaspora; if the chemistry is right and compatible then I will be with that guy regardless of ethnicity or heritage

Here are my limits:
1) I am a strictly non-versatile bottom, safe sex must be exercised at all times
2) No scat, BDSM, or fisting
3) Monogamy must be exercised because I don't do open relationships at all
4) Be open to some sexual adventurousness such as strip teasing and role playing for one another

I forgot to add to my criteria:

6) Rimming is a must because that is usually the only type of foreplay that will truly get me off.