Having slept for only an hour after all that drama, the bathroom suddenly felt as relieving as a lemonade by a Cabo beach. And the fact that I drank too much orange juice in the airport. I walked some 6 seats behind me to the nearest bathroom which... was occupied. Hoping the wait time was not much, I just hung out with the emergency door, crew members sometimes passing by. Suddenly, one of them stopped, looked at me, and says "Hi!". His voice was a bit excited for some reason, which honestly is not very uncommon in this side of the atmosphere. "Yes, uh... hi there....... Kee... Keilar." I muttered without a care, my iron walls not rising fast enough. He waits for a minute, filling his eyes with stardust or some shit like that; "You're @Dycas in Instagram, right?! Oh my goooood I absolutely loooooove your posts!". This time he said it in a very distinct dramatic hush, which only made slightly more defensive. Remember the lesson: be a Ken doll to the lower class: "Yes, haha that's me. And I'm glad you enjoy them! Always the best for my followers!" Using a plastic voice is always the worst in these situations. Then, out literal fucking thin air, the six words I dread the most: "Mind if we take a selfieeee?" In the middle of that sentence, the bathroom door slammed open, increasing my urgency to go. Then, no more iron walls, just privacy. Trying to be moderately polite, I said to K: "Sure thing! Just let me quickly go and then the photo. Sorry!" I closed it with urgency, almost in his face. And I'm glad I did. No way I want a sel-- picture in this state. Goddamnit, the lock! I looked into myself and saw the slight mess I was in that second; "No photos today, you bitch".
I stepped outside, looking at both ends of the alley. Perhaps that creepy selfie dude was serving coffees in economy. A middle aged woman looked at me, trying to use her laser eyes against me: "Well, are you gettin ooeht ahr lettin me in?" I moved silently, trying to express regret with my body as the other two people in line stared at me. Eesh, stupid adults. I stepped back in my seat, checked the flight status and noticed that breakfast was due to be served in the time it takes to watch 'Call Me By Your Name', my mind making the obvious choice of watching it. During the film, a bug kept crawling all around my scalp from earlier... "Juan" it said, circling like the spatial audio in a movie theatre. Happened some 3 times, especially in the sex scenes; certainly odd, but it did make the movie a tidsy-bit more emotional. Better keep it together. I usually never order alcohol while eating, or even drink at all, but breakfast was a great opportunity to sedate the bug, at least until I got to the hotel. At last, the end credits, and with them, gourmet breakfast. At parties or dinners, I always ask for vegan stuff because it's what everyone always gets. But at least I was alone, so I asked for a meat-y breakfast from..... "Oh, Keilar. Hello... can I please have the eggs breakfast?" He kindly gave it to me in a slight hurry, but the passenger on the other side had trouble deciding, so I chose to be the nice celebrity for once, despite being bored: "So, you asked for a selfie, but obviously that's not quite an option now, therefore what do you want? Autograph? Dedicated note?" Keilar looked at me. Anyone could see he was thinking. Innocently, he uttered his idea, "Can you please like 2 of my pleets and comment in my Ink.tyr account?". "Sure, will do that. Take care", I said in my modest composure. I saw him deliver meals to other passengers, continuing into Premium Economy. I closed the curtains facing the alley, thinking first, what the f*ck is 'Ink.tyr', second, no way in the hell that I'm answering to DMs, and thirdly: I forgot the alcohol.