Cross Dressing

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5674881

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Hi

What would your reaction be if you caught your OH crossdressing?

Would you be shocked, hurt, aroused?

Ask for erm a friend
 
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deleted848353

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Does nothing for me at all so I'd probably be hurt especially if I'd told them it does nothing for me but continued to push it in a sexual way
 
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Scarletbegonia

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How long have you been hiding this from your wife?
(Drop the BS, that’s part of the problem)

personally, CD and sissy attitudes make my skin crawl. It’s not the clothes, it’s the whole vibe that being female is demeaning.


I’m trying to imagine this scenario of a guy who discovered that he would like to be in the lovely lingerie he’s been buying for his wife of, oh, say, a decade. That realization, and the shame of admitting.

I’m trying to imagine the scenario of the wife hearing him, a mix of excitement, shame and pain in his voice.

And all I feel is pain.

I’m blessed that I’ve not walked that road. I tend to like guys who aren’t so masculine identified they’d have to hide something like that. I’m pretty sure the shirt my ex wore at our wedding was designed for women, but it’s a hippy-aimed design, so was unisex. My blouse was sold as a night shirt, soooo...

I’d not be comfortable with a lot of the side stuff that I read from CD/TV folks. And so often it reads like a slide to being a “sissy” to a man.
The aspects that hit hardest are the correlation between feminine or female identified objects being seen as humiliating to a man. As if being female was a horrible thing.
They tend to say girl and not woman, too.

There’s such loathing in the lexicon.
 
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deleted848353

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About 6 years when I first started. Not full on just trying things on etc
So why lie and say ur asking for a friend be honest or people will refuse to answer your questions especially as a lot check a posters post history
 
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286798

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I tend to be pretty open and accepting to talk about stuff, yet pretty clear about where my boundaries are. I'd be hurt that he felt he needed to hide it from me for SIX YEARS. Crushed might be more appropriate word. With my personality, if this weren't handled tactfully (his articulating his fear, embarrassment, shame.... whatever the appropriate emotion), I know I'd go down the rabbit-hole of "what else is he hiding?"

I feel a lot of what SB wrote.

I don't really understand it, but TBH, I haven't really thought much about it. I'd be willing to talk about it and if it were really important to my partner, I'd probably be willing to explore it, at least dipping my toe in the water. If it weren't my thing, I'd be good with defining boundaries while still respecting my partner... i.e. good with silky bikinis but not with bras, good with him wearing lingerie under men's clothing in public as our little secret but not good with full CD-ing, or whatever.
 

ArtAppreciation

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Oo, this topic! The whole subject seems rather hush-hush and taboo, doesn’t it?

I really don’t know how I would deal with this specifically.

I found out that my dad was into cross dressing years ago. I guess I was surprised, and I like to think I’m fairly open minded, so I wound up talking to him about it. I told him that I was cool with it. He even sent me a few pics of himself in a bikini from the back with a long wig on. Then I was like ok dad. Enough sharing about that :joy:

Aside from asking my mom a few questions (she never said a word to me growing up) it has been a non issue. I don’t personally find it to be a turn on, but perhaps that’s just because of my dad. I don’t know. I never really gave it any thought until I found out my dad was into it.

Is it something that your friend wants to share with the OH? Seems a bit risky if you don’t know how she will react in advance. For me, whatever turns him on, usually turns me on. So if you can explain to your partner exactly why this fetish does it for you, then maybe that can be helpful for you.

I know that it was a point of contention between my parents ...only that my mom wasn’t into it, my dad was, and he wished she was. Best of luck.
 

LaFemme

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How long have you been hiding this from your wife?
(Drop the BS, that’s part of the problem)

personally, CD and sissy attitudes make my skin crawl. It’s not the clothes, it’s the whole vibe that being female is demeaning.


I’m trying to imagine this scenario of a guy who discovered that he would like to be in the lovely lingerie he’s been buying for his wife of, oh, say, a decade. That realization, and the shame of admitting.

I’m trying to imagine the scenario of the wife hearing him, a mix of excitement, shame and pain in his voice.

And all I feel is pain.

I’m blessed that I’ve not walked that road. I tend to like guys who aren’t so masculine identified they’d have to hide something like that. I’m pretty sure the shirt my ex wore at our wedding was designed for women, but it’s a hippy-aimed design, so was unisex. My blouse was sold as a night shirt, soooo...

I’d not be comfortable with a lot of the side stuff that I read from CD/TV folks. And so often it reads like a slide to being a “sissy” to a man.
The aspects that hit hardest are the correlation between feminine or female identified objects being seen as humiliating to a man. As if being female was a horrible thing.
They tend to say girl and not woman, too.

There’s such loathing in the lexicon.
This. All this.
 
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Scarletbegonia

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About 6 years when I first started. Not full on just trying things on etc

ok. So, what do you get out of it? What’s the pull?
Break down for yourself why you want your wife to know.

is it informational? Do you want her involved in this particular kink?
Is there a vision of your wife as Domme somewhere in your brain?

and,
Are you trying on her items? Do you get your own? Do you use any of her intimates for masturbatory aids? If you do, what happens to them?
How do you think she will react?
 
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Scarletbegonia

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Also, to @ArtAppreciation ’s post, notice how once she tells Fet dad she’s ok with it, her father sends pics of himself in a bikini and wig. Unaskedfor?
The boundary issues are up there with foot guys, and it’s so well known this had to be made!


The bits about introducing a kink apply across the board. And that’s for strangers.
With a partner, you’ve had six years to assimilate this.
It will be 98 percent new information to her.
 
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5674881

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ok. So, what do you get out of it? What’s the pull?
Break down for yourself why you want your wife to know.

is it informational? Do you want her involved in this particular kink?
Is there a vision of your wife as Domme somewhere in your brain?

and,
Are you trying on her items? Do you get your own? Do you use any of her intimates for masturbatory aids? If you do, what happens to them?
How do you think she will react?

I think the dome thing has a big bearing on it. I do want he involved.

I have my own toys that I use.

I have spoken to her about fantasy to role play even bought toys to do so.

I think part of the problem is getting her to open up. She clams up when I try to talk to her about sex. To the point where I dont even know what her fantasies are.

So going on past discussions I'd probley get the same response.

I think part of it is I want to shock her out of her comfort zone.
 

Scarletbegonia

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So, all you want to do it talk about your kink, and not actually work toward talking at length to your wife.

You were vanilla, and fished Lake Vanilla, and have Ms. Vanilla for a wife. You developed something and worked it out for six years and now she’s “clamming up” because she doesn’t want to talk about it.
it sounds like you are working on sissy sub.
As someone sub oriented myself, I recognize my sweetie puts in some work and planning when we do power exchange play.
Likely, your wife doesn’t want to research and figure out what this could look like for her. It will be work, and a lot of it. She will be responsible for your safety.
And that is long after if she even wants to be involved in your kinks.

Sometimes, ya gotta dance with the one that brung ya.
 
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286798

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I think part of it is I want to shock her out of her comfort zone.
Obvi, I'm not your wife and can't know if she'd respond the same way, but I can say this would not work well for me. What would work (meaning make me honestly and thoughtfully consider it) would for my OH to come to me in a vulnerable and genuine way, hoping to come to a mutually agreeable arrangement.

The rest of your responses kinda makes me feel like you think this is her problem. She doesn't have a problem, nor do you... but you do have a difference in perspective and kinks. If you tried to shock me out of my comfort zone, I'd interpret it as lack of consent, lack of respect for boundaries and changing the terms of our agreement... it wouldn't end well.
 
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4388301

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If know ahead of time that person is into cross-dressing, not really a blip on my radar/is meh, depend on how they do it. Not into humiliation. Not into cuckold. Not into sissification. Your kink isn't mine and that's ok kind o thing, but zero interest in participating. Especially the last two kinks. Tend to have a cruise ship worth of baggage that is absolutely gross to me.

Practical/real talk. Very few folk have been involved with have similar proportions to me. So. Get ya own clothes, don't stretch mine beyond all recognition. No leavin' dick shape bulges in my knickers. No makin' my stockings run. No busting the shoulders/etc on my dresses. Anybody have personally been involved w knows am kinky. Many but no all the folks I have been with are also kinky. Respect of differing kinks is huge. Trust is huge. Do no spring an elephant on me mid-game, mid-relationship, etc.

Given how frank n open o conversation have w any potential partner, zero room or tolerance for major surprise. Tell me from get go things ya curious about. Unless is illegal kind o deal, am pretty fuckin' chill n tolerant even if a thing is no my cuppa tea. Have been willing to dabble in kinks that I personally really do no enjoy, as a giving partner/playmate. Piss play, humiliation, sissification even. Last one is probably a big giant nope at this point, but overall am flexible. But ya gotta be open about stuff from beginning. Otherwise feels like massive violation o trust.
 
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4388301

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Oh. An hope your wife knows you're lookin' for a wank buddy. Would say the same if you were involved with a dude, is no about the orientation, just real big on not breaking faith/loyalty. Majority o marriages are monogamous, after all. If ya already have an agreement with her, then cool. Seems unlikely tho, given the rest of the things you've said in this thread.
 

MariaMaria2

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I'd be surprised for sure, and most likely, lose my sexual attraction to him. I know this sounds harsh, but my definition of attractive masculinity doesn't include what you're describing.
 
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