Crush Survival Guide

D

deleted3782

Guest
One of the great things about this site is meeting incredible people from all over the world. One of the worst things about this site is that some of the most incredible people are a world away.

When/if you do meet a special person online, and you click really well, and you find yourself falling deeper into feelings...what next?

I've been here long enough that I recognize the hurdles. Maybe its a person who is already in a relationship (but connects better with me than their partner). Maybe its a person who lives halfway around the world. Maybe its a person who, inexplicably, cuts off all contact because they get frustrated and see no future. Maybe its a person who just likes to say the right things to get what they want. Maybe its a person who does all of these.

I'm not talking about a cute little wink-wink crush in which you exchange a few flirty messages, I'm talking about the kinds of crushes in which you really develop feelings...and then wham, you literally get crushed when it ends.

So how do you survive it? Do you avoid developing feelings? Do you stop yourself from going "there"? Do you just shut your feelings down by calling the whole episode ridiculous and shrug it off?

What advice do you have to survive the crush? Have you had a serious crush here that left you sputtering?
 

D_Anna_Chonda

Account Disabled
Joined
Dec 28, 2007
Posts
175
Media
0
Likes
1
Points
103
Age
42
Sexuality
No Response
i have found it can happen IRL to but i have found if i feel something starting to develop i shut myself off and take a deep breathe and carry on but keeping that person at arms length. yes you can just shut your feelings off but the worst thing you can do is avoid that person as they may think they have done something wrong.
 

Guill

Expert Member
Verified
Gold
Joined
Apr 6, 2007
Posts
923
Media
97
Likes
165
Points
363
Location
NH
Verification
View
Sexuality
69% Gay, 31% Straight
Gender
Male
I approach everyone with the thought that there is next to no chance of me ever meeting them. I do agree that a deeper connection than I origionally thought can develop in a situation where there is no personal face to face interaction. I honestly hope that I never end up in that situation of a serious crush where actually meeting them is not a possiblity. Constant vigilence.
 

B_StevJ

Just Browsing
Joined
Jan 23, 2008
Posts
98
Media
0
Likes
0
Points
101
Location
Tri-State area
Sexuality
69% Gay, 31% Straight
Gender
Male
Dude seriously? A conversation is just that. Online and meeting in person are totally two different things. It's like reading a fairy tale and hoping he/she comes to life. Would you have moved to the other side of the world if you were still talking?
 

LaFemme

Mythical Member
Staff
Moderator
Verified
Gold
Platinum Gold
Joined
Aug 16, 2010
Posts
40,749
Media
2
Likes
38,870
Points
743
Location
Canada
Sexuality
90% Straight, 10% Gay
Gender
Female
I can't control my feeling like that. I wish I could. So yes, that's happened to me and yes I would have moved, but no it didn't work out and I got crushed.

For the most part, I live my life with my heart wide open. My survival method is natural, I guess. I just don't crush on someone that easily. The hurts are bad but very far apart.

I truly believe that if a person lives closed off, either online or offline, you never know what wonderful opportunities they might be missing.

My only real advice is that you make sure you are crushing on someone who actually exists. The online sea is full of catfish. No point in grieving something that never was.
 
Last edited: