I'm feeling emotionally mixed up, I wanted to ask for an advice here, but now I see GaBulldog's thread, and it seems like a good idea to vent it out... Or at least to write something down, maybe it can help me reflect on things.
I'm in the middle of what seems unhappy relationship, but neither of us is trying to put it to an end. I'm not exactly certain why, maybe hope, maybe pity, or just plain procrastination. But this is not what I wanted to write about at this moment.
Anyway, I got a crush at another girl.
I was attending language class. From the first moment, that girl struck me as beautiful, smart, with attitude, and a little bit mysterious, I don't know it is sadness or reservation or even little fear that shows on her face...
One day, we were writing exam. She was among people who finished early, but then there was a rainstorm. I went out of the building, and she accepted an offer for a ride and squeezed under my umbrella.
For some five or ten minutes we were talking about some general stuff, then I dropped her off and left.
The conversation seemed very fluent and natural for us, and I'm not very good conversationalist, and it is usually difficult for me to open up.
She has a boyfriend, who is living abroad and this is why she is trying to learn the language fast. She wants to join him, or he wants her to move in with him apparently, so it seems like a serious relationship.
She is good 12 years younger than me, and on final year of college. She mentioned her boyfriend before, and seemed kind of proud of having a boyfriend. Perhaps he is her first.
The next day I was little bit early for oral exam. When she came, she immediately started conversation, standing next to me.
Then she moved on my side, coming close to me physically and in one moment touched the side of my body with hers. I think there was a little pause then, she moved on the other side, and immediately coming back next to me, but touching again.
She mentioned she was in a hurry.
The exam was for two people at a time.
She entered, and other people urged me to go with her (Did they recognize something happening???).
She was finished first, then kind of shamelessly asked her in front of commission if she wants to wait for me to take her home. She said OK, but later said she felt embarrassed.
I drove her to the train station, chit chatting about I don't remember what on the way.
She said see you in autumn and went off.
I don't know it crush or I am falling in love, I don't know the difference any more.
At first I was somehow happy I won't see her for three months, if she decides to come back at all, and things will calm down.
But now, some ten days later, I feel crazy and happy and sad and obsessed with her, mining the web about her and I feel like stalker.
Does somebody think she was giving me signals, or it was just my wishful thinking and misinterpretation?
I'm in the middle of what seems unhappy relationship, but neither of us is trying to put it to an end. I'm not exactly certain why, maybe hope, maybe pity, or just plain procrastination. But this is not what I wanted to write about at this moment.
Anyway, I got a crush at another girl.
I was attending language class. From the first moment, that girl struck me as beautiful, smart, with attitude, and a little bit mysterious, I don't know it is sadness or reservation or even little fear that shows on her face...
One day, we were writing exam. She was among people who finished early, but then there was a rainstorm. I went out of the building, and she accepted an offer for a ride and squeezed under my umbrella.
For some five or ten minutes we were talking about some general stuff, then I dropped her off and left.
The conversation seemed very fluent and natural for us, and I'm not very good conversationalist, and it is usually difficult for me to open up.
She has a boyfriend, who is living abroad and this is why she is trying to learn the language fast. She wants to join him, or he wants her to move in with him apparently, so it seems like a serious relationship.
She is good 12 years younger than me, and on final year of college. She mentioned her boyfriend before, and seemed kind of proud of having a boyfriend. Perhaps he is her first.
The next day I was little bit early for oral exam. When she came, she immediately started conversation, standing next to me.
Then she moved on my side, coming close to me physically and in one moment touched the side of my body with hers. I think there was a little pause then, she moved on the other side, and immediately coming back next to me, but touching again.
She mentioned she was in a hurry.
The exam was for two people at a time.
She entered, and other people urged me to go with her (Did they recognize something happening???).
She was finished first, then kind of shamelessly asked her in front of commission if she wants to wait for me to take her home. She said OK, but later said she felt embarrassed.
I drove her to the train station, chit chatting about I don't remember what on the way.
She said see you in autumn and went off.
I don't know it crush or I am falling in love, I don't know the difference any more.
At first I was somehow happy I won't see her for three months, if she decides to come back at all, and things will calm down.
But now, some ten days later, I feel crazy and happy and sad and obsessed with her, mining the web about her and I feel like stalker.
Does somebody think she was giving me signals, or it was just my wishful thinking and misinterpretation?
