Ok this could be a blog but I want more comments than a blog gets.
So last night I was with my girl and we are having a good time and I go down on her for awhile and I even have her try face-sitting. She seems to enjoy it, I ask her which she prefers, she says both. So I'm going down on her for awhile, then move up and try to get my fingers to finish the job and I'm working her and then she stops me. She is smiling and seems content and just just sighs and doesn't have much to say. Finally I get around to having sex with her and I start putting myself inside her and she's (albeit at very first) asking if it's in, she said it didn't feel like it. This was a little crushing, as I'm already not a big boy, only 6x6 but she acted more like she could feel it once I pushed deeper.
Being on top of her I had to work it in with different positions before she seemed to be enjoying it. Her legs were hurting though so we switched positions, her on her side and me vertical between them. She has always seemed to enjoy this position and it seems (or so I thought) that i could always get at her "spot" this way. Well I know that the only way that she can come is through vigorous thrusting, apparently on her spot (she said that her old boyfriend got her over the edge) and I'm going and going and slowing down for just a moment or two when i feel my orgasm coming too close, then starting back up and trying my damndest for her cuz I know that I've never gotten her to orgasm with my cock (or maybe not any way ever). She seemed to be enjoying it. And, eventually the dam breaks on my side.
After I (much to my shame) have my orgasm, she is laying there and I can just FEEL the frustration off of her. So we get to talking and she says "hon, I know you are doing your best and trying, but I don't think I'll ever get the same satisfaction out of this that you are." She talks some more on this and tells me my cock feels ok but... then tells me that maybe I should get a book or go online and try and find something out. Right then I felt like a piece of shit, like the worst lover on the planet. I seriously just wanted to evaporate. I HAVE read a lot and have been trying my hardest and it still didn't feel good enough. Like I'm not big enough, hard enough, good enough, whatever.
Of course she reassured me she wouldn't leave me over something stupid like this, that it's not important and there's a million other things to do. I agreed, but inside I was still breaking cuz I know the other men she's been with HAVE given her that same satisfaction. Depressed isn't a strong enough word for how I felt. Now, yes, we do have a lot more than sex in common. But for me, it's a great gift I want to give my woman and it's the most intimate and sacred thing you can do with someone, so I want my woman to feel incredible.
She also tried reassuring me that "maybe just not now, we'd have to work at it..." bla bla bla but it was too late, the damage was done. I know it's an overreaction, but on the emotional level, I never wanted to have sex again. Her initial statement showed me, and those are honest because they are unfettered by encouragement or trying to put a good spin on things.
She did say to just enjoy having sex with me and enjoy our time together and I so want to... But knowing that her other men have given her a Lexus and I'm giving her a Yugo truly demoralizes me. I had this feeling for a long time that she wasn't really enjoying me and then it was like a deep fear coming true. Maybe it was just the way she said it or what she said.
But has this happened with anyone else? How did you guys cope with it, and for the ladies, how did you broach this subject with your guy?
So last night I was with my girl and we are having a good time and I go down on her for awhile and I even have her try face-sitting. She seems to enjoy it, I ask her which she prefers, she says both. So I'm going down on her for awhile, then move up and try to get my fingers to finish the job and I'm working her and then she stops me. She is smiling and seems content and just just sighs and doesn't have much to say. Finally I get around to having sex with her and I start putting myself inside her and she's (albeit at very first) asking if it's in, she said it didn't feel like it. This was a little crushing, as I'm already not a big boy, only 6x6 but she acted more like she could feel it once I pushed deeper.
Being on top of her I had to work it in with different positions before she seemed to be enjoying it. Her legs were hurting though so we switched positions, her on her side and me vertical between them. She has always seemed to enjoy this position and it seems (or so I thought) that i could always get at her "spot" this way. Well I know that the only way that she can come is through vigorous thrusting, apparently on her spot (she said that her old boyfriend got her over the edge) and I'm going and going and slowing down for just a moment or two when i feel my orgasm coming too close, then starting back up and trying my damndest for her cuz I know that I've never gotten her to orgasm with my cock (or maybe not any way ever). She seemed to be enjoying it. And, eventually the dam breaks on my side.
After I (much to my shame) have my orgasm, she is laying there and I can just FEEL the frustration off of her. So we get to talking and she says "hon, I know you are doing your best and trying, but I don't think I'll ever get the same satisfaction out of this that you are." She talks some more on this and tells me my cock feels ok but... then tells me that maybe I should get a book or go online and try and find something out. Right then I felt like a piece of shit, like the worst lover on the planet. I seriously just wanted to evaporate. I HAVE read a lot and have been trying my hardest and it still didn't feel good enough. Like I'm not big enough, hard enough, good enough, whatever.
Of course she reassured me she wouldn't leave me over something stupid like this, that it's not important and there's a million other things to do. I agreed, but inside I was still breaking cuz I know the other men she's been with HAVE given her that same satisfaction. Depressed isn't a strong enough word for how I felt. Now, yes, we do have a lot more than sex in common. But for me, it's a great gift I want to give my woman and it's the most intimate and sacred thing you can do with someone, so I want my woman to feel incredible.
She also tried reassuring me that "maybe just not now, we'd have to work at it..." bla bla bla but it was too late, the damage was done. I know it's an overreaction, but on the emotional level, I never wanted to have sex again. Her initial statement showed me, and those are honest because they are unfettered by encouragement or trying to put a good spin on things.
She did say to just enjoy having sex with me and enjoy our time together and I so want to... But knowing that her other men have given her a Lexus and I'm giving her a Yugo truly demoralizes me. I had this feeling for a long time that she wasn't really enjoying me and then it was like a deep fear coming true. Maybe it was just the way she said it or what she said.
But has this happened with anyone else? How did you guys cope with it, and for the ladies, how did you broach this subject with your guy?