Cultural Differences Explained

Discussion in 'Funny Stuff: Jokes, Quizzes, Games & Pics' started by windtalkerways, Mar 26, 2006.

  1. windtalkerways

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    Just remember, I don't write this stuff.
    Every one seems to come in for a
    ribbing in this joke. :tongue:


    Aussies: Believe you should look out for your mates.
    Brits: Believe that you should look out for those people who belong to your club.
    Americans: Believe that people should look out for and take care of themselves.
    Canadians: Believe that that's the government's job.



    Aussies: Dislike being mistaken for Pommies (Brits) when abroad.
    Canadians: Are rather indignant about being mistaken for Americans when abroad.
    Americans: Encourage being mistaken for Canadians when abroad.
    Brits: Can't possibly be mistaken for anyone else when abroad.



    Aussies: Export all their crappy programs, which no one there watches, to Britain, where everybody loves them.
    Americans: Spend most of their lives glued to the idiot box.
    Canadians: Don't, but only because they can't get more American channels.
    Brits: Pay a tax just so they can watch 4 channels.



    Americans: Love to watch sports on the idiot box.
    Brits: Love to watch sports in stadiums so they can fight with other fans.
    Canadians: Prefer to actually engage in sports rather than watch them.
    Aussies: Will jabber on incessantly about how they beat the Poms in every sport they played them in.



    Americans: Will jabber on incessantly about football, baseball and basketball.
    Brits: Will jabber on incessantly about cricket, soccer and rugby.
    Canadians: Will jabber on incessantly about hockey, hockey, hockey, and how they beat the Americans twice, playing baseball.



    Aussies: Add "G'day", "mate," and a heavy accent to everything they say
    Americans: Spell words differently, but still call it "English."
    Brits: Pronounce their words differently, but still call it "English."
    Canadians: Spell like the Brits, pronounce like Americans.



    Aussies: Shop at home and have goods imported because they live on an island.
    Brits: Shop at home and have goods imported because they live on an island.
    Americans: Cross the southern border for cheap shopping, gas and liquor in a backwards country.
    Canadians: Cross the southern border for cheap shopping, gas and liquor in a backwards country.




    Aussies: Are extremely patriotic to their beer.
    Americans: Are flag-waving, anthem-singing, and obsessively patriotic to the point of blindness.
    Canadians: Can't agree on the words to their anthem, when they can be bothered to sing them.
    Brits: Do not sing at all but prefer a large brass band to perform the anthem.



    Americans: Drink weak, pissy-tasting beer.
    Canadians: Drink strong, pissy-tasting beer.
    Brits: Drink warm, beery-tasting piss.
    Aussies: Drink anything with alcohol in it.



    Americans: Are justifiably proud of the accomplishments of their present citizens.
    Brits: Are justifiably proud of the accomplishments of their past citizens.
    Canadians: Prattle on about how some of those great Americans were once Canadian.
    Aussies: Wallow on about how some of their past citizens were once outlaw Pommies, but none of that matters after several beers.



    Americans: Seem to think that poverty and failure are morally suspect.
    Canadians: Seem to believe that wealth and success are morally suspect.
    Brits: Seem to believe that wealth, poverty, success and failure are inherited things.
    Aussies: Seem to think that none of this matters after several beers.


    Canadians: Encourage immigrants to keep their old ways and avoid assimilation.
    Americans: Encourage immigrants to assimilate quickly and dump their old ways.
    Brits: Encourages immigrants to go to Canada or America.




    Canadians: Endure bitterly cold winters and are proud of it.
    Brits: Endure oppressively wet and dreary winters and are proud of it.
    Americans: Don't have to do either, and couldn't care less.
    Aussies: Don't understand what inclement weather means.



    Aussies: Have produced comedians like Paul Hogan and Yahoo Serious.
    Canadians: Have produced many great commedians, like John Candy, Martin Short, Jim Carrey, Dan Akroyd, and all the rest at SCTV.
    Americans: Think that these people are American!
    Brits: Have produced many great comedians, but Americans ignore them because they don't understand subtle humor.
     
  2. tallguypns

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    I dont get it.
     
  3. windtalkerways

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    Wellllllll...try getting out of the house more.

    I'm not falling for you're "I don't get it line"...:biggrin1:
     
  4. sexycobra

    sexycobra New Member

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    What about French-Canadians?
     
  5. mingnut

    mingnut New Member

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    That's pretty much spot on...nice one windy :smile:
     
  6. jeff black

    jeff black <img border="0" src="/images/badges/gold_member.gi

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    Tallguy (fibber)

    Windy, I love it.. Canadians are the bomb...but it worked out so that everyone looked lazy...:rolleyes:
     
  7. windtalkerways

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    No luck yet on mottos, Ming.

    But this was what I found whilst searching.
     
  8. tallguypns

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    perhaps I should have included this in my post. I dont get it.

    Now is it funny?
     
  9. windtalkerways

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    I suppose humour is subjective, Tall.

    All in your point of view. :wink:
     
  10. tallguypns

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    I think you mean to say i'm not funny.
     
  11. windtalkerways

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    You do deadpan great, mister! :biggrin1:
     
  12. jakeatolla

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    Typicaly known for NOT having a sense of humour . ( Hee Hee.):biggrin1:
     
  13. jakeatolla

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    This has to be one of your best WTW. Great job.
     
  14. windtalkerways

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    Why do I feel like a singer
    on A. I.? :biggrin1:
     
  15. speshk

    speshk Member

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    Funny stuff, and I couldn't really tell who might have written it, an American, Brit, Canadian or Aussie.
     
  16. tallguypns

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    Obviously written by a frenchman, since they have nothing good to say about anyone that isnt french. :tongue:
     
  17. GoneA

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    oh this is a great one windy
     
  18. Love-it

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    Americans: Can't understand British and Australian accents and stop mumbling and slurring.
     
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