Cum Mishaps

Discussion in 'Funny Stuff: Jokes, Quizzes, Games & Pics' started by driftingvoid, Mar 8, 2009.

  1. driftingvoid

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    Hey guys,

    I thought it might be interesting to hear some stories of cum mishaps! :rolleyes:
    I haven't heard one that wasn't funny (at least after the fact) yet, so maybe this could be pretty fun. Share your cum mishap stories please!

    I'll start off with a couple. The first one is mine; the second one I actually read somewhere on these forums.

    After having sex for awhile, my girlfriend and I ended up in the good, old-school missionary position, as I prepared to cum. One of her favorite ways for me to cum is for me to shoot it onto her body while she lays back and watches, so missionary is a common final position for us. So as I was preparing to cum, and getting my last few thrusts in, she propped herself up on her elbows to watch the show. I pulled out to cum for her, but neither of us were expecting the impending cumshot. The orgasm was really intense, and the first jet of cum was huge, and flew out very powerfully; had she not have propped herself up to watch my cumshot, it would have flown clear over her body. Instead, the huge jet of cum hit her square in the face, unexpectantly. She saw it coming toward her, and started to say "ooh," but it hit her before she could get that out, so it turned into a slow moan/groan as her head fell backward and I shot the rest on her body. The combination of us (especially her) not expecting it to hit her in the face, and her head falling back in slow motion after impact made for many laughs.

    I read this one somewhere on this forum (I'm sorry! I don't remember the poster's name or I'd quote it; I'm not trying to steal someone's story!). Apparently someone was giving a guy head and preparing to swallow the impending cumshot when something happened and caused the person to laugh or something; the result was that part of the cumshot ended up getting routed through the nose and out again, much in a similar fashion to someone surprised by a laugh in the middle of sipping a drink. lol.
     
  2. TailPipe

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    RED EYE (M/M)

    Back in the mid-1970s, I was "out" and hot as a pistol for mansex, but Friend was (and still is) an alcoholic, and non-committal and a bit self-loathing about his male-male leanings. One summer night we'd hung out with a female co-worker and another then-closeted male buddy, who was the actual object of Friend's lust (and ironically, THAT buddy would become my boyfriend a year later). After late-night pizza and too much sangria, followed by drunken romping on the beach like four little kids (in their early 20s), I ended up back at the condo with Friend, whose parents were away for the weekend. He put us up in his parent's bed, because all he had was a twin bed in his room.

    So there we were, just in our briefs, both of us waiting for something to happen, so I figured “What the hell” and I gave him a full-body hug. BAM! That’s all it took for him to cut loose, and then it was the two of us rolling around with a whole lot of making out. Friend is one of those lap dog kissers, too, all sloppy and wet, his mouth devouring my face, including eyes, ears, and nose. Bad kissing, but we were young and turned on, and in no time our briefs were our off and we were rubbing our cocks together while sucking some serious face.

    Then, in one of those rare and impossible to predict moments, with me on top, riding cock-to-cock, I lifted up and we simultaneously came. Joint cum blasts made a direct hit to Friend’s right eye, and even beyond to splatter his parent’s headboard. Friend squawked and raced to the bathroom to rinse out his eye, stinging with cum, and his eye remained red for another 24 hours (I don’t know if/how he explained the condition to his parents the following night).

    We would laugh about the incident later, as a private joke, and the term “Red Eye Flight” would thereafter crack us the hell up.
     
  3. Smartalk

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    Some member posted a linke to a video clip, which featured a guy and a woman in the missionary position heading towards the last frantic strokes before orgasm One camera man was filming from the head end of the couple another filming from the side. The side on camera man is filming as the guy grunts pulls out his cock and shoot a huge rope of come, with such force that if hits the camera man ahd the head end of the couple in the face. Boy did he get a shock he was not expecting

    Can anyone remember the clip or are you the person who posted it in the first place
     
  4. driftingvoid

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    lol ... I've seen a clip that resembles what you're describing. But the clip I saw was definitely a professional porn blooper, not just some kind of amateur accident (have you often/ever seen a full camera crew & lighting accompanying some homemade sex tape?). And with so many closeups of cumshots in porn, I'm sure that it's a very good possibility that there's more than one clip that's been recorded.
    I can't find an exclusive video clip of it, but here's a blooper compilation that contains the clip I was talking about: Blooper Compilation Video -- Skip to 2:21. The whole video is pretty amusing, but the specific clip starts at 2:21 in the video. However, I'd feel remiss if I didn't warn you all: there are some anal bloopers, and you can imagine what's possible there; be forewarned. lol - There's also another clip of the wrong person getting the cumshot earlier in the compilation -- a mmf 3-some (guy sitting on couch, girl riding him, other guy behind her for anal) where the guy standing up starts to cum, not really caring about anything but the fact that he's cumming. I guess he might have expected the girl to stay where she was and get the cum over her back, but it seemed that he was a little too self-absorbed at the moment to care where his cum went. Anyway, the girl repositioned herself and, while still riding the guy under her, leaned to the left ... and the other guy ended up giving the poor guy on the couch a pretty nice facial, while the poor recipient cussed the guy out.

    Hmm. On second thought, the rest of the compilation after the clip at 2:21 seems to degrade. But it's funny before that ;-)
     
  5. SpeedoMike

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    my partner wanted to try bottoming. my first attempt at anal... my dick berely touched his ass and I blew everything I had all over him. all I could say was "how was it?"
     
  6. Smartalk

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    Hey Drifting Void

    Many thanks thats the one He certainly got an eyeful
     
  7. driftingvoid

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    np .. i saw that blooper awhile ago, and it just kinda stuck in my head :p
     
  8. Amigo

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    I've personally never had a facial requested, and I've never had the uncontrollable urge to donate one... yet I know that between losing the virginity in 2004 and today I've had my boys end up in one girl's ear and up another poor girl's nose.

    I think the nose was her lolly-popping off of me right as I was about to blow... but the ear? How? That happened before I ever titfucked, too... hmm.
     
  9. yhtang

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    I remember seeing this video! It was hilarious indeed! Sorry, it was not me who posted it.
     
  10. Steve26

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    Once I inadvertently splattered my cat, who was napping on a sofa somewhat behind and to the side of me as I was enjoying myself at the computer. She woke up and gave me this glare was the feline equivalent of "WTF?!?"

    Steve :smile:
     
  11. D_Diesel Oyl

    D_Diesel Oyl New Member

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    I jacked in the shower stall at the gym, the load flew into the next stall - no one was there - would have been cool if someone was....
     
  12. unzipped

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    was a lot younger but jacked in a fraternity bathroom stall and shot a wadd that splattered on the ceiling... impressed and astonished me and a few guys in there simultaneously..
     
  13. driftingvoid

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    lmao -- I've accidently shot a little up one of my friend's nose ... hahaha. She was laying on her back giving me a blowjob after we'd fucked one time (I was kinda strattling her chest/neck-ish); she liked when I gave her facials, and that was the plan for the impending cumshot. Well, despite having given cumshots from that angle before, nothing like that had ever happened (or at least the girls never told me), so I didn't even really consider it. Sure enough, in addition to a (pretty damned copious, if I might add) facial, she also got some in her nose. We laughed about it while she was blowing her nose-- to get cum out.

    hahaha. That's a good one. I can just imagine a cat getting pissed off about that, too-- in my experience with them, cats seem to always have this "you're here for me" attitude.
     
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