cums too quickly

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by Imported, Dec 4, 2003.

  1. Imported

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    alleycat: I came across this site about a year ago and on occasion, would sit and read some of the topics. Well, this is the first time I've posted and here's my issue: My fiancee cums too quickly. He says he can't control it. He finally confided in me that it's really embarassing and that he knows he doesn't statisfy me. The thing is, he does statisfy me, in other ways, but he seems to think that he's not a man becasue he can't statisfy me with the actual act of intercourse. I suggested we go to the sex store and see what we could find and he wanted no part of it. If anyone can help me with this, I would love to hear what you have to say. Any ideas on how to get him to last longer or how to get him interested in toys or how to get him to believe that it doesn't bother me and I want to help him. Any advice?????
     
  2. Imported

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    pippi: question in the other way, how to make a girl intersted in toys?
    i bought one, we tried it a few times, coz i wanted too and now its lying useless in the drawer.
    my expierence with men (real 1st hand) is just to mention it and simply a girl talking about sey things will make him want to use it.
     
  3. jdoe86

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    What is your fiance's age? Can he go more than one time a night? Have you tried the squeeze technique? Maybe have him jack off an hour before to take the edge off? Does he wear a condom? Have you tried two? How about numbing gel? Man, I could go on forever.. Anyone else have any imput?
     
  4. Imported

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    wvalady1968: No, George, you're doing well. Go on. ;)

    Allie
     
  5. Imported

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    str8_nnj: ....sorta reminds me of feeding my cat...(stay with me on this).
    I had this cat that would go completely bonkers over hearing the can opener work because he knew he was going to be fed. The same time,every day,the same brand, the same few types he liked.
    Then one day after he just finished eating...(I just had to do it)...I went to the kitchen and just turned on the can opener....yep!!!..he was there...eyes dialeting,tail whipping,looking up at me like he hadn't been fed in a week.
    After the initial "glare", and sense that nothing more was due,he walked away,but I knew it was going to be
    a "game" from there on out.

    Ok Alley, you might want to try getting out of the norm, like Geo suggested, a little manual play before hand....(there's a pun there)...with the squeeze techinque is a good method to make things last longer...
    but I would suggest you do it in a playful mood..not like it was a test...

    Good luck and enjoy!!
     
  6. jdoe86

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    Also.. I know a friend who's partner has a rpoblem with stamina. I don't want to say he needs to exersise, but if he had more stamina.. maybe he could keep going even after he cums. (last night I came and kept going for another 5 minutes to make sure she came too. I was so sensitive that I was ready to fly trough the roof, but I just kept going and going and...)
     
  7. Imported

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    wvalady1968: Edited to add: Sorry, str8, you weren't talking t me, were you? You were talking to alleycat.

    [I have to pay attention ALL the time, don't I? ???]
     
  8. Imported

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    hawl: I haven't noticed anything using Benzocaine (the legal cousin of cocaine and novocaine, sold as stuff like "Man Delay") but that just makes me wonder if there's a connection between size and decreased sensation (I'm usually kinda numb and ruthlessly efficient in that Rocco/Brandon Iron porn way). Has anyone seen any legit research on whether smaller breasts, nipples and penises are more sensitive? Here's a link for those not familiar with Benzocaine-www.condomusa.com/condoms/8d04-mand.html.
     
  9. Imported

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    Andrea: No idea about size but it is pretty certain circumsized men are less sensitive and have increased stamina. This would suggest American men may make better lovers from the view point of a woman, but may enjoy sex less than British men.

    Does that make sense?
     
  10. jdoe86

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    I enjoy sex very much, but yes, uncircumcised are more sensitive (I talked to a female friend who has played with a uncut man and said he was very, very sensitive).
     
  11. Imported

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    prepky: ok i have to chime in here...I am uncut, however, I can keep going after I come, and most of the time, my wife wears out before I do, so the uncut theroy is not always correct....and as far a american men lasting longer, I am the only uncut man( and i am american) my wife has had and her ex was cut and she said he would do good if he lasted more than 3 or 4 humps before he came....so go figure..
     
  12. jdoe86

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    I think masturbation is the key. If the man knows how to control himself during mastubation, then he can last longer with a partner (man or woman). I know of two guys who do not masturbate and and the women they are with complain of their lack of staying power. Now, that could be jumping to conclusions, but I know it is healthier to mastubate than not. (we are not talking 2 or 3 times a day, just a few times a week to keep everything happy) I read that mastubation helps the penis because of the increased blood flow. Makes tons of sense to me.
     
  13. Imported

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    Tender: i dont see how being circ has any effect on stamina.
    but yes more overall sensitivity.
    difference between stamina and sensitivity...
    Tender
     
  14. Imported

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    alleycat: Ok, Everyone, Thanks for the support. He is good sized, 8x6 or so, circumsized and 29 yrs old. He says it's always been a problem, he just can't control it. Extremely sensitive......I asked about a cock ring and he says they hurt. I suggested an adjustable one and he really didn't respond. There's more research to be done with him, we have had company for the past few days, so really no time alone to explore other options. But thanks, I will make some suggestions and see what happens. :)
     
  15. Max

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    I would say the more sex the better for building up a man's stamina.

    I have always come quickly ... still do, but the second orgasm is always a lot longer in coming. Get his highly charged nature to work for you rather than against you.
     
  16. Imported

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    longtimelurker: You can get the reduced sensitivity treatments together with the condom (similar to pre-lubricated). Unfortunately if he needs larger sizes they only come in regular. Alternatively extra-thick condoms could do the same thing.
     
  17. Imported

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    neatski2: Well the most important thing i have to say here (everyone else gave super advice) is just that you have to be careful to let him know that it doesn't really bother you all THAT much and you still find him to be completely sexy and virile. Insecurity can cause men to slip up and lose control.. and I think that with time and practice, he'll do better.
     
  18. benderten2001

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    alleycat,

    Tell your fella he's not by himself.  His is a common challenge and he should not be embarrassed about it.

    Withholding climax can be a learned "skill" and it requires personal discipline on his part and patience from you.

    Go to www.bettersex.com

    (section 4 under "videos" in their shopping section)

    There is a video called "You Can Last Longer".


    Get it, play it, and decide what you want to do.
    It's designed for couples to "learn together" how to withhold ejaculating but the material can also be practiced and learned "solo" by him.

    The "couple approach" to learning this seems more fun I would think!      ;)

    I've viewed this video and it covers the subject well.
     
  19. Imported

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    Vincentr1: This is risky advice but It has worked for me. A couple of glasses of wine with dinner always takes the edge off. With some experience your can learn how much is not too much. You don't want to drink to the point where you'll be hungover the next day. However a little somethin somthin to calm down the nervous system always works for me. When I drink the right amount I have absolute control. It's really a great feeeling when you can give your lover a warm up oral orasm and the two or three vaginal orgasms and finaly let go with yours when she's just about exhausted. My wife always has one or two little orgasms after I come insider her even after she thought she was out for the count. Nothing better than watching her shiver and wiggle in different ways. It helps you learn what buttons to push. This way you can tease her more. ;D But I digress. 3-4 glasses of merlot or two - three glasses of vodka works best for me. Just don't become a lush!
     
  20. Imported

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    Savannah: This has always fascinated me......have you ever heard of a woman complain because she cums too quickly? Nope, she just anticipates the next one. Maybe men should just relax and do the same. Orgasm feels fantastic, why try to delay it? Once the stigma is gone, it's amazing what can happen....

    Savannah
     
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