Current bf not living up to expectations, what to do?

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by D_cu65r7i6, Nov 27, 2011.

  1. D_cu65r7i6

    D_cu65r7i6 New Member

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    My current bf's endowment is below average. We have a wonderful relationship in most other ways, but in a certain way, I always have this nagging in the back of my mind that I could be more satisfied with someone else.

    Am I just a shallow bitch?

    Since there's nothing that will make him bigger, what can I do? I'd like to hear from other women who have been in the same boat. Obviously, leaving him is one option, cheating is another. He doesn't seem even remotely receptive to the idea of fulfilling this desire on the side.

    Help!
     
  2. molotovmuffin

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    Since it's evident that he is not living up to your expectations you should dump him and living with a below average penis size isn't worth dealing with and you'll never be happy.

    And yes, you're a shallow bitch.
     
  3. DaveyR

    DaveyR Retired Moderator
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    Yes you are. Do him a huge favour and dump him.
     
  4. ManlyBanisters

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    What, she's a shallow bitch because she's given it a go and it isn't working? So she should suck it up and be sexually frustrated. She's not entitled to sexual satisfaction, is that it?
     
  5. LaFemme

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    Anything in a relationship that nags at you in the beginning will likely become a more serious issue later on. If this is sexual incompatibility that cannot be fixed, then it is not going to get better later on. And since this is a physical incompatibilty, it's better to get out sooner than later.

    Anytime anyone who admits to making a choice in relationships based on physical characteristics is risking being called shallow. But only you know what you need in order to have a successful relationship. It may not be my way, but everyone has their deal breakers.
     
  6. Stretch

    Stretch New Member

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    10 results - TinEye

    Really?...people are taking this seriously? I hate to be a cynic but I don't mind :rolleyes:
     
  7. L_egit

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    Why are you in the relationship and is this element of your interaction with him more important than the alternative?

    Asking a question of this nature generally indicates that you've already made up your mind that you are dissatisfied with your current partner, but you don't know quite how to validate leaving him. Given recent events in my life, I'd be entirely honest with your current significant other and tell him that you aren't satisfied with the relationship and then leave. The alternative is simply tugging him around to do your favors while your mutual resentment grows. You'll waste less time and less energy by attempting to get what you want rather than steaming that you're settling.

    Are you shallow? Irrelevant. Who cares what moral weight someone attaches to your preferences? You do, but that's because you're looking for validation for a choice you've already made. That step, however, is unnecessary. The importance is that you attach relevance to those values in spite of your self held indication that you should not. If you want to change that, feel free, but that's an entirely different set of questions.
     
  8. DaveyR

    DaveyR Retired Moderator
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    I saw through the OP immediately I read it hence my answer :wink:
     
  9. ManlyBanisters

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    Where does the OP say the avatar is her?

    By the way, calling fake is against the ToS now, so I have reported you. Have a nice evening.
     
  10. Fsjal

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    Not a woman here, but regardless, I believe desiring sexual satisfaction is pretty integral to the structure of a romantic relationship. Now, is he completely against all ideas to help with the situation? Otherwise, you could stay with him and simply use an aid such as some manner of cyberskin extension.
     
  11. DaveyR

    DaveyR Retired Moderator
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    Then I hope you have reported me too.
     
  12. Stretch

    Stretch New Member

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    Having a particularly bad day MB or just looking for bonus points? I never accused the OP of being a fake. It never even entered my mind, nor was it in any way my intention in my cynical reaction to the post. My post was only an opinion, not an accusation. Your reaction and behavior, however, is an interesting reflection on yourself. Hope your evening is also enjoyable :smile:
     
  13. D_cu65r7i6

    D_cu65r7i6 New Member

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    Uh. The avatar is most certainly not me. Just something I found and liked.

    And as to being accused of being "fake"... real inviting community you guys have here. I figured this would be a decent place to ask a reasonable question. What's with the unwarranted hostility?
     
  14. B_Hickboy

    B_Hickboy New Member

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    It sounds kind of cold to say that cheating is an option. You can learn to enjoy what you have, or you can leave.

    You do have the right to be satisfied sexually, if it's important to you.
     
  15. D_Bob_Crotchitch

    D_Bob_Crotchitch New Member

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    moooooooooooooo
     
  16. frankyme

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    I agree with hickboy! If you really like him, by person, than give it a try, but if it is REALLY an issue about his size, skip it and go on...
     
  17. helgaleena

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    your problem is 'expectations'. You don't love him enough to enjoy sex with him as he is, so take your expectations away with you.

    Is having a piece of male anatomy inside you absolutely essential to your enjoyment of sex? Say, if your man had a vestigial tail that was slightly larger than his penis, or perhaps a set of horns on his head about the right size, would they do?

    How do you feel when your man fills you with a huge dildo?

    I think you need to broaden your experience of the varieties of sexual pleasure. Then decide if your current relationship is compatible with your new understanding.
     
  18. Embrace69

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    If you are not in love with the man, that's one thing. If this is something that the two of you can not discuss together as adults then I think it's right of you to leave the relationship.

    It's just unfortunate that something like penis size is going to rule your relationship as there is so much more out there to a man than the size of his penis. What happens if he gets terminally ill? (my point being that at some point, if you want to admit it or not we as humans stop performing sexually as age/or health deteriorate) Would you dump him because he could not get an erection because of the medications keeping him well?

    However, if this is something you highly value in a relationship and it is a must then it's pretty obvious that you've already made your mind up. I just hope the poor man can cope with the loss later on and not feel any worse about himself that his girlfriend dumped him because of his penis size. And yes, in my opinion it does make you shallow. This is the same kind of premise that makes women self conscious and men have misconstrued views about what ALL women are thinking. However; it IS your life and your sex life and if you aren't happy, you are entitled to find something/someone that makes you happy. So best of luck in finding what you are looking for.
     
  19. novice_btm

    Staff Member Moderator Gold Member

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    Sorry, but I loved that answer. :lmao:

    I'm not taking it seriously, because, well, "been there, done that" so many countless times, that I, well, I can't count. True, about 90% end up being fakes anyway, but a TinEye hit on an avatar doesn't mean, or prove, anything. Avatars are just that... avatars. Unless she puts it in her gallery, and says, "Hey, this is ME...", it's not an issue. Besides, it's been made very clear that calling out fakes in public, isn't done anymore. Reports, with actionable proof, to the Mods, is how people should handle these things.
     
  20. ManlyBanisters

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    Cunning_Stunt - in the interest of equality and fairness I did report your post too. Doesn't mean I don't love you.

    Novice - what with the new rules you may want to consider editing your signature: "If you're called a fake, shut up the haters by verifying, or just shut up."

    Oaklandgirl - yeah, the hostility is a bit much sometimes and, before other posters jump me, it's not something I can claim a moral high ground on either, but I'm trying to do better. Please don't let it put you off the site - there's a good bunch of people here if we can just stop being such jaded, sarky bastards all the time.
     
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