Current bf not living up to expectations, what to do?

D_Fiona_Farvel

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To answer the question posed in the opening post:

I have been in relationships with two men on the small side of average - at least in length, one was/is quite girthy. Unfortunately, both followed two of my larger partners, so my body immediately missed feeling stretched/full and using a variety of positions - including my favorite, which was just impossible to reproduce with someone of small-average size. Don't get me wrong, the sex was satisfying, but I absolutely craved and began to fixate on what I was missing, so I understand the "back of the mind" thing.

In the first relationship I hid my feelings, which probably contributed to the rather dramatic ending. In the second, because we were in an open relationship, he was aware that I enjoyed more and so I did (with the partner that preceded him). I was quite fortunate finding someone I could open up to about my needs,and vice versa, and believe communication is key to intimacy issues. So, if I may offer advice, it is that you do the same - explain what you want/need and discuss openly. Even though the choice is ultimately yours, respect your partner an opportunity to share his thoughts and feelings, then consider them and make the choice that is right for your life and situation.

P.S. LPSG is generally wonderful, but if you are a new woman on the site, learn how to add a nice "fuck off" to assholishness, including the trite fake call out. And if asking for an opinion on a matter that is not mainstream, expect a few posts passing judgment. However, with the wording of the OP, mainly the addition of "am I just a shallow bitch," you had to expect predictable responses would follow. Next time, just know you're probably a bitch - hey, I know I am! - but don't actually give a fuck enough to care if anyone else thinks so as well. :wink: Welcome!

What, she's a shallow bitch because she's given it a go and it isn't working? So she should suck it up and be sexually frustrated. She's not entitled to sexual satisfaction, is that it?
Thank you adding this bit, MB.


Not a woman here, but regardless, I believe desiring sexual satisfaction is pretty integral to the structure of a romantic relationship. Now, is he completely against all ideas to help with the situation? Otherwise, you could stay with him and simply use an aid such as some manner of cyberskin extension.
Good advice! We tried these as well!
 
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EllieP

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My current bf's endowment is below average. We have a wonderful relationship in most other ways, but in a certain way, I always have this nagging in the back of my mind that I could be more satisfied with someone else.

Am I just a shallow bitch?

Since there's nothing that will make him bigger, what can I do? I'd like to hear from other women who have been in the same boat. Obviously, leaving him is one option, cheating is another. He doesn't seem even remotely receptive to the idea of fulfilling this desire on the side.

Help!

Darling, if you base your relationship almost entirely on sex, then you probably do need to find someone who will satisfy you in that area. If you are looking for a well-rounded partner who can excite all parts of your life then there are things you can do to shore up those areas lacking. How receptive is he to trying new things? Maybe you're just bored in bed. Need some excitement.

The grass is not always greener, Dear. I can talk about the complete flip side where abundance is extreme. But there are other things, lots of other things we do to make it exciting. Surely he must have some other parts of his body more talented. Constantly explore because even the biggest become boring.
 

AlteredEgo

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Since it's evident that he is not living up to your expectations you should dump him and living with a below average penis size isn't worth dealing with and you'll never be happy.

And yes, you're a shallow bitch.
Expecting sexual satisfaction within her monogamous relationship is shallow? Fuck that noise.
 

Guy-jin

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Expecting sexual satisfaction within her monogamous relationship is shallow? Fuck that noise.

Eh. When she comes along and says their relationship is "wonderful" but then seems to have only come up with either leaving him or cheating on him as solutions to their problem, it certainly does make her seem pretty shallow.

If she weren't shallow, wouldn't a few other possible solutions cross her mind before dumping or cheating on her "wonderful" boyfriend and his tiny dingdong?

Also, Manly... keep working on it, dear. You have a long way to go. :tongue:
 

pete543

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Can't really say, because I don't know what it is like to experience sex with a big penis vs. a small penis. I would never consider dumping a girl for having a loose vagina, although if she has a tight one its a plus, and thats pretty much the same thing I think. Is it? Maybe that would make for a good thread. Is tightness of vagina as important as penis size. Anyhow, when I date a girl with a loose vagina, I really never even think about it, besides the initial realization and focus on other aspects of the sex. But perhaps penis size is more important.
 

molotovmuffin

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Expecting sexual satisfaction within her monogamous relationship is shallow? Fuck that noise.

Actually no. That isn't shallow, what was shallow was that she said
Re: Current bf not living up to expectations,

If he wasn't big enough for her the first time, how was he going to grow into a size she did like? She should have moved on then.

She asked, I answered. I thought she was being shallow about it. That is my opinion...ymmv.
 

Tense0000

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I totally agree. If you love him, talk about it and make it work other ways. If not, dump him so he doesn't waste his niceness with you. :rolleyes:

Not a woman here, but regardless, I believe desiring sexual satisfaction is pretty integral to the structure of a romantic relationship. Now, is he completely against all ideas to help with the situation? Otherwise, you could stay with him and simply use an aid such as some manner of cyberskin extension.
 

alx

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If you loved him it wouldn't be an issue. You wouldn't even think about it. Therefore you can't be right for each other. Clearly.
 
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deleted725627

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Honestly i really feel bad because there is nothing he can do about what he was born with. I also understand your position, but think about being in his shoes. If you two really love each other cheating could really ruin it and randomly leaving him might just be a heart crushing hint. When it comes to sexual assets for guys our penis is the only tool we got.