Cut/uncut: dick-shaming your lover for being different?

Wei

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Hi. I'm a Chinese American guy with an uncut dick. My bf is also Chinese American, but he's cut. We both love each other very much and our cut/uncut difference is celebrated. Sex is way-out awesome and I personally love the cut look, too.

But we both heard bad stories where lovers have gotten intolerant of the other's dick difference. It can go from awkwardness and resentment at one end of the scale to outright hostility, open mockery and relationship breakdown at the other - in some cases, violating your privacy in the most hurtful way, by humiliating you through malicious jokes and gossip to friends, co-workers or even neighbors, about your most intimate body part.

Has dick-shaming ever happened to you, your lover, or anyone you know?

Wei
 
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shankity

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Wow. In a world that is trying to promote tolerance and support for all, this post really gets to me. Shame is an evil background that keeps people from expressing themselves. I have zero tolerance for anyone in my life that makes me ashamed of who I am. Hair, eyes, skin, dick status... No. Love me for who I am or the door is to the left.
 

AMTZ410213

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I knew a girl (friend of a friend) who would go on dating sites to try and get guys to send her dick pics. She would completely ridicule any uncut guys, the more foreskin they had the meaner she was. A few months later she tried to hook up with me and much to her surprise was rejected. The bottom line is if you think it’s okay to body shame anyone then you should be trusted by no one.
 

rayray

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Hi. I'm a Chinese American guy with an uncut dick. My bf is also Chinese American, but he's cut. We both love each other very much and our cut/uncut difference is celebrated. Sex is way-out awesome and I personally love the cut look, too.

But we both heard bad stories where lovers have gotten intolerant of the other's dick difference. It can go from awkwardness and resentment at one end of the scale to outright hostility, open mockery and relationship breakdown at the other - in some cases, violating your privacy in the most hurtful way, by humiliating you through malicious jokes and gossip to friends, co-workers or even neighbors, about your most intimate body part.

Has dick-shaming ever happened to you, your lover, or anyone you know?

Wei
@Wei ..just look at some of the threads on this site that talk about circumcision.They usually start out with some civility before turning into a debate about preference. It gets quite ugly at times .
 

AMTZ410213

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Good points and true. Both are actually pretty good: foreskins fight bacteria, while the glans head of circumcised guys is usually dry - thereby inhibiting the growth of new bacteria. They both do need washing, tho. A guy who is loose circumcised can also accumulate smegma if he doesn't wash regularly... ;)
And to the point I was trying to make, if you’re going to shame a guy, shame him for not washing. Not because he’s cut/uncut.
 

rayray

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Hi rayray,

Thanks for letting me know this. The thread topic here isn't inviting discussion of preference, but rather of people facing embarrassment and/or humiliation, for being either uncut or cut, when that information is publicized in some way, or otherwise becomes public knowledge, without their consent. It isn't taking one side of the cut/uncut debate and nor is it trying to encourage others to do so.

I do understand your general point though - which as I read it, is a warning about the possible unintended consequences of starting a thread which is ultimately about dick-shaming of both circumcised and uncircumcised guys...
I get that you're talking more on a personal level . I was just pointing out how passionate and opinionated people are about the subject .
 
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I don't agree with any kind of ridicule to a person's genitalia whether it be size or whether or not they are cut or uncut. I do often come across profiles where men and women are ridiculing uncut men and it's due to their own ignorance that somehow the extra skin means they are unclean or even worse such as std transmittance and yeast infections for women. Although it seems that men that are uncut get the most ridicule, there are threads on here that ridicule men that are cut because in a world view most people are uncut so it's a majority against a minority thing. Some of the comments I've seen are it's unnatural and therefore it's wrong. I'm cut but I've never denied a guy based on whether or not he was cut or uncut. It really doesn't even matter to me.
I’d rather be ridiculed everyday of my life than be cut. Easier to deal with someone else, instead of me seeing my self as half a dude.
 
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rayray

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Interpret it how you like, I was just trying to get a laugh. On the original topic, I’ve read on here that foreskins can get pretty nasty if they aren’t properly cleaned out regularly. I think if a guy chooses to let things get nasty in there then it’s fair game to be critical of that, because it’s his choice. Does that make sense?
That sounds more like a matter of poor personal hygiene. If you don't wipe your ass properly you'll have dirty smelly underwear .
 

opinionman

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I've had partners who are both uncut and cut. One guy was very tightly cut to the point where it interfered with normal sex and foreplay. I guess the sex suffered and it put me off a little. Conversely I had a Muslim ex who'd been in a long relationship with a Jewish guy who couldn't really accept foreskin.
"Couldn't accept foreskin"? That's messed up in lots of ways.
 
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QANDA

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I've had partners who are both uncut and cut. One guy was very tightly cut to the point where it interfered with normal sex and foreplay. I guess the sex suffered and it put me off a little. Conversely I had a Muslim ex who'd been in a long relationship with a Jewish guy who couldn't really accept foreskin.
 
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HOU_HEADHUNTER

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I don't agree with any kind of ridicule to a person's genitalia whether it be size or whether or not they are cut or uncut. I do often come across profiles where men and women are ridiculing uncut men and it's due to their own ignorance that somehow the extra skin means they are unclean or even worse such as std transmittance and yeast infections for women. Although it seems that men that are uncut get the most ridicule, there are threads on here that ridicule men that are cut because in a world view most people are uncut so it's a majority against a minority thing. Some of the comments I've seen are it's unnatural and therefore it's wrong. I'm cut but I've never denied a guy based on whether or not he was cut or uncut. It really doesn't even matter to me.
 
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1141702

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I don't agree with any kind of ridicule to a person's genitalia whether it be size or whether or not they are cut or uncut. I do often come across profiles where men and women are ridiculing uncut men and it's due to their own ignorance that somehow the extra skin means they are unclean or even worse such as std transmittance and yeast infections for women. Although it seems that men that are uncut get the most ridicule, there are threads on here that ridicule men that are cut because in a world view most people are uncut so it's a majority against a minority thing. Some of the comments I've seen are it's unnatural and therefore it's wrong. I'm cut but I've never denied a guy based on whether or not he was cut or uncut. It really doesn't even matter to me.
“Extra” - what bullshittery.
 
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Absolutely. It's just such a shame that there are ppl who ridicule others for something like this. They are so shallow that they just end up on my ignore list, haha. Nobody should ever be belittled by others to see themselves as half a dude, whether they're cut or uncut. Both are cool, but I passionately believe it should always be a matter of the individual's freedom of choice, not his parents' or guardians': his body, his decision.
Indeed. I had no choice, I feel like half a guy, I feel like I’ll never be normal, and I feel like uncut dudes are more of a man than me. That will not go away. Hence, self ridicule is always worse.
 
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Totally agree. Nobody is more of a man than any other for something like this. And a society that allows this cruel thinking to predominate has some very serious thinking to do - about ITSELF...
Society indirectly created that for me because I didn’t have the choice. Just like they can’t anticipate what they are really doing medically they can’t anticipate psychological results. As you see, most people don’t give two shits about it.
 
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Absolutely. And that surely is key: the most relevant fact is not whether a person is cut or uncut per se - but about whether they had the freedom of choice to make their own decision about it. So are my Chinese cousins wrong to choose to be circumcised, and should I condemn them? No, absolutely not, b'cos that's their choice and they honestly much prefer it. So am I wrong to reject their arguments for it and choose to remain uncut? Again no, and for the same reasons. Both their parents and mine honored our right to choose for ourselves. Cut and uncut guys deserve equal respect. The one thing I can never respect is taking away their right to decide for themselves whichever they want to be.
Sure. Once you are an adult you can do whatever you want. One of the reasons this topic is so heavily argued on here is because of the “not correct” feelings of bitterness that arise from people who had the choice, used it, and the RIC crowd who did not. We who know go through years of dealing with it to actively “correct it” and are always reminded of the guys who just went and got chopped and then you have people who get done as adults and talk about how they wish they were done at birth.
 
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Wei

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Sure. Once you are an adult you can do whatever you want. One of the reasons this topic is so heavily argued on here is because of the “not correct” feelings of bitterness that arise from people who had the choice, used it, and the RIC crowd who did not. We who know go through years of dealing with it to actively “correct it” and are always reminded of the guys who just went and got chopped and then you have people who get done as adults and talk about how they wish they were done at birth.

Good points. So much of the acrimony, bitterness and finger-pointing could be avoided altogether if everyone had that choice. There shouldn't be two sets of circumcised guys at loggerheads with each other: one which had the choice and the other which hadn't. Still worse if those who had that choice as adults now want to deny it to others. As adults, they may well talk about how they wish they were cut at birth and that they have the right to change it. Good on them! But they don't have any such right to make such a personal choice for others. Others are rightly bitter if that choice was denied to them. Is it any wonder that in China, with plenty of cut and natural guys, there is no widespread disputation - or even bitterness - on this issue?
 
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Good points. So much of the acrimony, bitterness and finger-pointing could be avoided altogether if everyone had that choice. There shouldn't be two sets of circumcised guys at loggerheads with each other: one which had the choice and the other which hadn't. Still worse if those who had that choice as adults now want to deny it to others. As adults, they may well talk about how they wish they were cut at birth and that they have the right to change it. Good on them! But they don't have any such right to make such a personal choice for others. Others are rightly bitter if that choice was denied to them. Is it any wonder that in China, with plenty of cut and natural guys, there is no widespread disputation - or even bitterness - on this issue?

Completely agree.
 
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Wei

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@Wei..I thought you and your boyfriend were celebrating , appreciating and admiring the difference of one anothers genitalia(circ, uncirc).
You said
"Hi. I'm a Chinese American guy with an uncut dick. My bf is also Chinese American, but he's cut. We both love each other very much and our cut/uncut difference is celebrated. Sex is way-out awesome and I personally love the cut look, too."
It didn't take long before this thread started to morph into another argument thread about having and not having choice by @DildoShwaggins .

We were and are celebrating the difference. And I personally agree with DildoSchwaggins that freedom of choice in circumcision is very important, as I said here:

...Cut and uncut guys deserve equal respect. The one thing I can never respect is taking away their right to decide for themselves whichever they want to be.
 
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