cyber stalked an old g.f.

twoton

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I got curious about the one who was the one before I met The One. I haven't seen her for 21 years. I wondered whatever happened to her. She was a dead-ringer for Winona Ryder in "Reality Bites." In my opinion, smokin' hot. So I did some stalking. It wasn't easy. I haven't had any contact with our common friends for those same 21 years.

Pieced it together, found out she has a different last name now. Found out the town she lives in. And then found out she was arrested in 2008 for public drunkenness.

I started checking court records. She was arrested again in 2010 for fighting. She was arrested, charged, and spent a couple weeks in the county awaiting trial. Some (poor bastard) guy bailed her out. Our state doesn't make public mug shots, so I don't know what she looks like now.

She's in her mid 40s. What kind of woman gets arrested for fighting when she's in her 40s? I had a feeling staying with her would've been a bad idea back in 1991 when I said, "We have to talk...." and broke up with her. Now I'm sure of it.
 

twoton

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yes. I'm creepy and judgemental. Creepy because I looked up an old girlfriend on the Internet, which only creeps do. Judgmental, because I'm glad I didn't marry a woman who has been arrested at least twice since I broke up with her.

And to be even more judgmental, in keeping with the LPSG theme, she was the closest to a "size queen" I've been with.
 
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petite

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LOL.

Are you sure that it's the right person? You admitted that there was no photo. There is someone who shared my name in the last city I lived. We had remarkably similar birthdays and got confused so often that I got her debt collection calls, we were mixed up once at the doctor's office (whom we both apparently were seeing), and I also got invited to her family reunion once. Unfortunately she's also been arrested, to my chagrin. I've considered legally changing my name because of her.

The person who appears on Google might not be the same person. Just sayin'.
 
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Sklar

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yes. I'm creepy and judgemental. Creepy because I looked up an old girlfriend on the Internet, which only creeps do. Judgmental, because I'm glad I didn't marry a woman who has been arrested at least twice since I broke up with her.

And to be even more judgmental, in keeping with the LPSG theme, she was the closest to a "size queen" I've been with.

Here's something to think about: What if you had stayed with her and tried to salvage what you had? What if by that one act of kindness, you could have prevented the life she currently has?

Sklar
 

twoton

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Here's something to think about: What if you had stayed with her and tried to salvage what you had? What if by that one act of kindness, you could have prevented the life she currently has?

Sklar

I have thought about this over and over again since we broke up. There were a lot of people around her who tried to help her, including me. Eventually she burned out everyone. If I had unlimited resources, and kept my distance romantically/emotionally, maybe I could set her up in a stable life, rehab, etc. and keep her away from all the bad influences.

To keep with the Winona Ryder theme--I've never seen "Girl Interrupted," but she had been in a MH hospital for a while before we met. Claimed she shouldn't have been there but her sister dumped her there. It's where she met her first husband.

Obviously part of me still cares about her after 20 years or else I wouldn't still be thinking about what could have worked.
 
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twoton

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LOL.

Are you sure that it's the right person? You admitted that there was no photo. There is someone who shared my name in the last city I lived. We had remarkably similar birthdays and got confused so often that I got her debt collection calls, we were mixed up once at the doctor's office (whom we both apparently were seeing), and I also got invited to her family reunion once. Unfortunately she's also been arrested, to my chagrin. I've considered legally changing my name because of her.

The person who appears on Google might not be the same person. Just sayin'.

Wow--that would be fun, maybe, in a crazy zany sort of way. Unless it took a turn for the worst, like you got arrested , or she had a drug debt. There was just a story in the paper about a woman with the same name and birthday of someone else who was arrested by a bail bondsman by accident. Except she was 20-30 years older than the woman he was after.

In this case, I'm 99.9% sure it's her. The birthdate, her maiden name/name of her brother (she was married at least twice) etc. all mesh together. OTHO, maybe I do have it all wrong. In my fantasies, she's living happily ever after.
 

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I say this all with a bit of whimsy, but:

Yeah, it sounds like you most probably dodged a bullet on that one...but you were the one stalking her court records 21 years later.

The lady doth protest too much, methinks.
 

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I don't really see anything wrong with what you did - curiousity about an old love, the internet and a couple of hours to kill. It's not like you hired a detective or anything!

We never know what would have happened if we made different decisions. From what I gather, you really love the one you're with now - you made a great life together. Maybe your ex's life would have been better, but who knows?

Interesting to find out what happens to people that used to be really important to us, though.
 

KTF40

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I don't really see anything wrong with what you did - curiousity about an old love, the internet and a couple of hours to kill. It's not like you hired a detective or anything!

I agree. Searching for information about a person online is not creepy. People who think it is need to get over themselves. If it's public information and you're not doing anything shady or breaking any laws, go for it I say.
 

MickeyLee

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looking up an old flame.. fine. curiosity

searching court records... you have purchased a ticket to creepy.

post said information on a big dick site? hello, welcome to creepy... no need for introductions, we already know everything about you.
 

D_56er56r

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looking up an old flame.. fine. curiosity

searching court records... you have purchased a ticket to creepy.

post said information on a big dick site? hello, welcome to creepy... no need for introductions, we already know everything about you.

I find the zealousness with which you accuse him of being judgmental very creepy. Cut it out
 

twoton

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searching court records... you have purchased a ticket to creepy.

Hey, at least I didn't pay for any of it. :tongue: There's a very lucrative sector of the Internet economy based on fee-for-records. What's arguably unethical is the site that posts mug shots then charges people to take their pictures down.
 

Phil Ayesho

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I got looked up by the first Girl I ever loved... who dumped me after a year.
She was the One who got away.

Had lunch with her... 30 some years after last seeing her.


first words outta my mouth were..."damn, you HAD to be even more beautiful than you were at 17!"

Was there still any spark between us?
--only enough to execute a felon.

Hadn't communicated in over 30 years, and it still felt like it had been just a week since we last embraced.

She said it had been a naive mistake to break up with me... back then. But she had just gotten married again...
I told her I had never really gotten over her... and had always regretted that she broke up with me over he phone... that it had always felt tragic that I had never known, the last time I kissed her, that it would be the last time I kissed her.


She gave me that last kiss goodbye, 30 years late, and we both walked away...

... happy to know that our memories of that time together, of that connection we remembered sharing, were not false.

... and somewhat sadder for thoughts of the life that might have been.
 

twoton

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I got looked up by the first Girl I ever loved... who dumped me after a year.
She was the One who got away.

Had lunch with her... 30 some years after last seeing her.


first words outta my mouth were..."damn, you HAD to be even more beautiful than you were at 17!"

Was there still any spark between us?
--only enough to execute a felon.

Hadn't communicated in over 30 years, and it still felt like it had been just a week since we last embraced.

She said it had been a naive mistake to break up with me... back then. But she had just gotten married again...
I told her I had never really gotten over her... and had always regretted that she broke up with me over he phone... that it had always felt tragic that I had never known, the last time I kissed her, that it would be the last time I kissed her.


She gave me that last kiss goodbye, 30 years late, and we both walked away...

... happy to know that our memories of that time together, of that connection we remembered sharing, were not false.

... and somewhat sadder for thoughts of the life that might have been.


Well put.
 

petite

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I got looked up by the first Girl I ever loved... who dumped me after a year.
She was the One who got away.

Had lunch with her... 30 some years after last seeing her.


first words outta my mouth were..."damn, you HAD to be even more beautiful than you were at 17!"

Was there still any spark between us?
--only enough to execute a felon.

Hadn't communicated in over 30 years, and it still felt like it had been just a week since we last embraced.

She said it had been a naive mistake to break up with me... back then. But she had just gotten married again...
I told her I had never really gotten over her... and had always regretted that she broke up with me over he phone... that it had always felt tragic that I had never known, the last time I kissed her, that it would be the last time I kissed her.


She gave me that last kiss goodbye, 30 years late, and we both walked away...

... happy to know that our memories of that time together, of that connection we remembered sharing, were not false.

... and somewhat sadder for thoughts of the life that might have been.

That was lovely.