dads!

dolfette

Expert Member
Joined
Nov 13, 2006
Posts
11,303
Media
0
Likes
109
Points
193
Sexuality
No Response
not a quiz. the questions are just starting points if you want them.

are you as close to your kids as you'd like to be?
do you get to spend time doing stuff with them?
do you feel like society supports you in this?
do you encounter problems because parent/child facilities are aimed at women?
are your employers sympathetic if you need time off or can't work late?
is it assumed that their mother knows more and should deal with the kids?
are there things that bother you?
 

catman

Cherished Member
Joined
Oct 24, 2004
Posts
2,413
Media
0
Likes
370
Points
208
Location
Ga
Sexuality
50% Straight, 50% Gay
Gender
Male
are you as close to your kids as you'd like to be?
yes, I think so

do you get to spend time doing stuff with them?
they are over 18 now but yes, I try very hard to be here for them

do you feel like society supports you in this?
being a widower, yes

do you encounter problems because parent/child facilities are aimed at women?
well when they were young things weren't quite as 'rigid' as they are now....I am glad to see diaper stations in mens rooms now (nothing worse than a wiggling infant on a nasty sink

are your employers sympathetic if you need time off or can't work late?
they try but...

is it assumed that their mother knows more and should deal with the kids?
not sure what you mean...sexual? that was 'dads' area, but we tried to deal with what we were more comfortable...

are there things that bother you?
again not sure what you mean
 

Countryguy63

Superior Member
Verified
Gold
Joined
Jun 29, 2006
Posts
9,460
Media
36
Likes
7,826
Points
458
Location
near Monterey, Calif.
Verification
View
Sexuality
50% Straight, 50% Gay
Gender
Male
are you as close to your kids as you'd like to be?
I always have been, but it seems like as they are getting older, it's getting less :frown1:. Some say that's typical of teenagers and preteens, but I'm not your typical Dad, and it makes me bit sad.

do you get to spend time doing stuff with them?
Just about my entre life is doing stuff for them and with them. Between riding horses, softball, schoolwork, 4-H meetings, (the list could go on and on), sometimes I think, "Gosh, I need some time for me. But then I realize that in a very short time, they will be young adults, and I'll never have this time back again :frown1:

do you feel like society supports you in this?
Depends, I do find a bit of pre-judging with a Dad-Daughters relatonship.

do you encounter problems because parent/child facilities are aimed at women?

Back when they were in diapers, I did. At the time, very few Mens Rooms had changing tables, while all Womens Restrooms were equipped with it. Can't think of any instances where it applies now?

are your employers sympathetic if you need time off or can't work late?

Mine is


is it assumed that their mother knows more and should deal with the kids?

Being a Single Dad, I don't really run into that.


are there things that bother you?

Not sure
 

D_Anton_Pavlovich_Jerkhov

Account Disabled
Joined
May 31, 2009
Posts
297
Media
0
Likes
5
Points
103
Age
71
are you as close to your kids as you'd like to be?
Yes, but closer to my son (8) than to my daughter (12). Yet, as he grows, he spends more time with his peers.

do you get to spend time doing stuff with them?
Yes, but maybe I should spend less time on the internet, lol.

do you feel like society supports you in this?
Mmm, I am not sure about this one.

do you encounter problems because parent/child facilities are aimed at women?
No, I haven't experienced that so far.

are your employers sympathetic if you need time off or can't work late?
Yes, as long as you are not "abusive".

is it assumed that their mother knows more and should deal with the kids?
Yes, but that is not the whole truth. Yet, mothers are eesential when they get sick, lol.

are there things that bother you?
Yes, one is that, being an old father, I don't live long enough to see them doing well in their lives.
 

dolfette

Expert Member
Joined
Nov 13, 2006
Posts
11,303
Media
0
Likes
109
Points
193
Sexuality
No Response
are there things that bother you?
Yes, one is that, being an old father, I don't live long enough to see them doing well in their lives.

yours are about the same age as mine, but you've got more than 20 years on me... that must be tough.

here's wishing you a long & healthy life!
 

Sergeant_Torpedo

Experimental Member
Joined
Feb 5, 2006
Posts
1,348
Media
0
Likes
23
Points
183
Location
UK
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
Gender
Male
Child rearing isn't supposed to be a quaint soap opera. And parents are not required to be their kids friends; other kids do that. If you have kids your job is to do parenting and not making excuse. "I love my kids ....... so I stuff their faces with junk food, dress like them at the weekend, buy them designer gear (produced by kids in the third world for 25 cents an hour) without instilling any ethical qualities in their lives". Your job is to nurture not to indulge.
 

dolfette

Expert Member
Joined
Nov 13, 2006
Posts
11,303
Media
0
Likes
109
Points
193
Sexuality
No Response
Child rearing isn't supposed to be a quaint soap opera. And parents are not required to be their kids friends; other kids do that. If you have kids your job is to do parenting and not making excuse. "I love my kids ....... so I stuff their faces with junk food, dress like them at the weekend, buy them designer gear (produced by kids in the third world for 25 cents an hour) without instilling any ethical qualities in their lives". Your job is to nurture not to indulge.
lemme guess...you've had teenagers?
 

Indelicate

Mythical Member
Verified
Gold
Joined
Jul 2, 2009
Posts
3,184
Media
15
Likes
47,689
Points
543
Location
United States of America
Verification
View
Sexuality
90% Straight, 10% Gay
Gender
Male

are you as close to your kids as you'd like to be?

Our daughter is 18 and we are close, but she has issues at this point in time unrelated to my parenting that affect our relationship
do you get to spend time doing stuff with them?
When she was younger, I would have liked to spend more time with her, but my wife became critically ill, then disabled when she was 10. Between being a primary caregiver and working a demanding job with long hours, it was not what I would have preferred for her.

do you feel like society supports you in this?

Yes.

do you encounter problems because parent/child facilities are aimed at women?
No.

are your employers sympathetic if you need time off or can't work late?

Yes. My contribution at work is never questioned when it comes to time off needed with my family.

is it assumed that their mother knows more and should deal with the kids?
Not really, as I have had to be both parents at many times due to our family situation.

are there things that bother you?
The things that bother me are mostly because our daughter is unappreciative of the sacrifices I have made on her behalf and only bemoans what she missed in her childhood, even though we went to extraordinary lengths to make it as "normal" for her as possible, even though the situation was far from ordinary.
 
D

deleted356736

Guest
Are you as close to your kids as you'd like to be?

My children are now 20 and 18 and while we are close, we're not as close as I would like. This comes from when they were younger, and is mostly due to the concept that the man is the breadwinner. I had a succession of responsible and well-paid jobs. I never worked long hours, but I still wouldn't get home until, say, six in the evening, and often fatigued to a greater or lesser extent.

Do you get to spend time doing stuff with them?

From time to time when they were younger, but they do their own things now

Do you feel like society supports you in this?

When they were younger, I don't think so, but I also don't think that our society supports working mothers either.

Do you encounter problems because parent/child facilities are aimed at women?

I never encountered problems when they were younger.

Are your employers sympathetic if you need time off or can't work late?

The employers I had were sympathetic at the time

Is it assumed that their mother knows more and should deal with the kids?

No, not at all

Are there things that bother you?

Australian society and probably most Anglo societies, do not support child-raising, which makes it difficult to find a balance between work, home and family. This affects men because they are more likely to be working, but it also affects working women.
 

Trouty

Experimental Member
Joined
Nov 10, 2008
Posts
252
Media
0
Likes
2
Points
103
Location
UK
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
Gender
Male
not a quiz. the questions are just starting points if you want them.

are you as close to your kids as you'd like to be?
Yes. I'm very involved with both my sons (unlike my own Father :mad:)
do you get to spend time doing stuff with them?
Yes. My wife is very good at buggering off and leaving them in my care :rolleyes:
do you feel like society supports you in this?
Errrrr....
do you encounter problems because parent/child facilities are aimed at women?
Most definitely Yes! Yes! Yes! When both my boys were toddlers I sometimes would have days off work and take them to toddler groups. As the only man there I was ignored by the mums and generally treated like a syphllitic rapist :frown1:
are your employers sympathetic if you need time off or can't work late?
I'm a dept head and have been for a number of years so I just take the time off and pretend I'm going to a 'meeting' :biggrin1:
is it assumed that their mother knows more and should deal with the kids?
When the boys were babies/toddlers/children mother definitely knew best - now they're teenagers Dad knows best (it helps being on the same wavelength - God help me if I had had Girls though! :wink:)
are there things that bother you?
My wife :redface:
.
 
Last edited:

catman

Cherished Member
Joined
Oct 24, 2004
Posts
2,413
Media
0
Likes
370
Points
208
Location
Ga
Sexuality
50% Straight, 50% Gay
Gender
Male
are you as close to your kids as you'd like to be?
Yes, but closer to my son (8) than to my daughter (12). Yet, as he grows, he spends more time with his peers.

Having been blessed (or cursed lol) with 3 sons, I have wondered what life would (have been) like with daughters... and felt sorry for any horndog that thought he was worthy of dating her lol.....

3 (+1) hormones is bad enough....

I do have to add my wifes death did affect my relationship with my sons, at a time when they would be becoming more independent I think we all rallied around each other..I also think to this day they tend to 'keep an eye on dad' more than they would normally...all in all I am honored by my sons.
 

dolfette

Expert Member
Joined
Nov 13, 2006
Posts
11,303
Media
0
Likes
109
Points
193
Sexuality
No Response
do you encounter problems because parent/child facilities are aimed at women?
Most definitely Yes! Yes! Yes! When both my boys were toddlers I sometimes would have days off work and take them to toddler groups. As the only man there I was ignored by the mums and generally treated like a syphllitic rapist :frown1:
wow...
 

dolfette

Expert Member
Joined
Nov 13, 2006
Posts
11,303
Media
0
Likes
109
Points
193
Sexuality
No Response
I do have to add my wifes death did affect my relationship with my sons, at a time when they would be becoming more independent I think we all rallied around each other..I also think to this day they tend to 'keep an eye on dad' more than they would normally...all in all I am honored by my sons.
they sound like good guys...empathetic and caring, looking out for someone else's welfare even when they're hurting.